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• The Discounted Hot Goth Chick from Breakfast Club • Fear does not Exist in this Bio • Follow: @Haliphacks •

2,021 Following   29,463 Followers   179,138 Tweets

Joined Twitter 1/26/09


@rickygrams That’s a positive spin on it lolmy superpower is putting people to sleep while sexting apparently. @Mr_Jules_ @nerdyprincess90 @adorkablymandy @poisonedhearts_ @CatsVsHumanity @KrisDoerschner @ChicksRulehttps://t.co/FdtIpnFWDHWhat if you had to clip your teeth like toenails
Retweeted by .:RiotGrl:.Me: I don’t care how delicate your ears are, as long as you’re living under this roof you will wear a mask around visitors! Cats:
Retweeted by .:RiotGrl:. @rogercarl @Freak0nIine You’re so tuff and cool rog. 🙄Wolves Werehouse: You're going to like the way you howl.
Retweeted by .:RiotGrl:.I just found out, this very moment, that there are people out there who do not know about the poop knife
Retweeted by .:RiotGrl:.Who called it “being the queen bee on instagram” instead of “thot leadership”?
Retweeted by .:RiotGrl:. @SandwichGhoul @FNAKC Well this is news to me tbh.Onions are the pettiest fucking vegetable. “You wanna put me in your dinner? Aiight then, cry about it.”
Retweeted by .:RiotGrl:.I’m too tired to overeat. What kind of bullshit is this?
Retweeted by .:RiotGrl:.Me: Would you like the piss beer or the peasant beer? My father: Do I have any peasant piss beer? Me: indeed you… https://t.co/XklwXyriZb
Retweeted by .:RiotGrl:.I spent all day cleaning and then remembered that my kids still live here, so I dumped the clean laundry on the flo… https://t.co/QS7sXYHUQc
Retweeted by .:RiotGrl:.Find a guy who’ll spend the evening rubbing your feet and drinking wine with you Then give him my number
Retweeted by .:RiotGrl:.What if each of your teeth had a different pitch and you had to communicate by hitting them with a tuning fork?
Retweeted by .:RiotGrl:.I have to stop living in denial and just admit it. I don’t have the laundry skills required to own sweaters.
Retweeted by .:RiotGrl:. @david04680831 @toomanycommas3 Are you asking me to double down bc yes. @david04680831 @toomanycommas3 You need to go back to Pornhub. P.S. Your avi is stupid.From now on, I’m only having sex with men that are emotionally available and genuinely interested in me. Narrator:… https://t.co/Zl4W1i0x1N
Retweeted by .:RiotGrl:.Women don’t need men, we need enchiladas.
Retweeted by .:RiotGrl:.I can’t believe the US is going to have a President again after four years without one.
Retweeted by .:RiotGrl:.rude unwanted moviegoer erection 🤝 down in front
Retweeted by .:RiotGrl:.there is no Pepsi, only Zuul
Retweeted by .:RiotGrl:.In movies a guy has a fight with his girlfriend, walks out of the school dance, and there’s immediately a slut wait… https://t.co/WysvjGWD3H
Retweeted by .:RiotGrl:.What if you stub your teeth like you do your toes?
Retweeted by .:RiotGrl:.Saw a gorgeous jumpsuit that would be perfect for ✨date night✨ and got excited but then I remembered that I’m not d… https://t.co/pmB37VWUAe
Retweeted by .:RiotGrl:.The only thing I need a man for is to come show me how to hang this detachable showerhead.
Retweeted by .:RiotGrl:.What if your tongue molted like a snake
Retweeted by .:RiotGrl:. @NoToRiOuSJT_48 Exactly. I let a lot of shit go. Not anymore though.I really do apologize to all the ppl who can’t see this bc they’ve been catching blocks but I’m way more than over… https://t.co/U01NoSLCk3McDonald’s always makes me pull up and I’m like hell yeah my food is about to be hot and so good and it never is.
1/20
2021
i do not understand the entitlement.. https://t.co/R4QsQWQz4Bwdym i need to let christmas go https://t.co/KerQBacKqb @SvnSxty @Tobi_Is_Fab @CrockettForReal @Marlebean @ADHDeanASL @GroovyTasia @adamgreattweet @thearibradfordhttps://t.co/hPVionKenxDate: Are you winking or blinking? Cyclops: I do not know.i think about our ancestors being able to see us naked a lot.Its gonna be hard to get used to having a real president again.
Retweeted by .:RiotGrl:.They change the locks when there is a new tenant, right?
Retweeted by .:RiotGrl:.Getting hammered is a religion
Retweeted by .:RiotGrl:.Me: I'm blessed to have 2 wonderful children Coworker: Don't you have 3 kids? Me: 2 wonderful children and Bryan
Retweeted by .:RiotGrl:.british dogs be like bahk
Retweeted by .:RiotGrl:.Question: what makes you feel truly valuable? Please RT. I’m genuinely interested in a wide scope of feedback regar… https://t.co/iJ0N6uhFoy
Retweeted by .:RiotGrl:.https://t.co/pQ79nR3FXBhttps://t.co/tFyKXK59rzGuy arrested from here for rioting at the capitol, Shane Daughtry, is only being charged with a misdemeanor for cli… https://t.co/2T5rcQrKCQI didn’t realise how tiny my wife is until I took her favourite sweater out of the dryer
Retweeted by .:RiotGrl:.If you’ve never cried in a walk-in or stock room you have no say in the minimum wage debate
Retweeted by .:RiotGrl:.*starts a GoFundMe page to finance my campaign to change the plural of platypus to platypussies*
Retweeted by .:RiotGrl:. @Ghost_Of_Joad I don’t think anyone will be able to find it honestly lolputting my snapchat on public seems like the right thing to do until it gets too weird.I feel that Joe Exotic’s pardon would go exactly like a Grey Poupon commercial. @MrsGaGaG Tired as shit but alive. 🥰😍 https://t.co/RknfWl3JkBme: *declines call* texts them: wassup @NerdJokeTuesday @damnfinetweet 🥸 https://t.co/UT0VLr3HL9questions for people without anxiety (a thread):
Retweeted by .:RiotGrl:.when i mention i don’t eat chinese food ppl look at me like i grew a second head.mom: how much do you like him me: i’d say hey to him while i was spinning the wheel on the price is right.I woke up this morning already wearing a sensible cardigan like some kind of extra on Everybody Loves Raymond
Retweeted by .:RiotGrl:.5 Dollar Foot Schlong where they do it on the Subway toppings bar.The existent of the paper crane, implies the existence of the paper bulldozer.
Retweeted by .:RiotGrl:.there’s just something about a ziplock bag of random pills that feels like home
Retweeted by .:RiotGrl:.my nudist neighbours are moving away and selling everything and I'm thinking the washer and dryer will be worth a look
Retweeted by .:RiotGrl:.Will I understand Zeus if I haven't studied Aeus through Yeus?
Retweeted by .:RiotGrl:.hired a guy to clean the fireplace and flue; offered to pay extra but he’s still refusing to sing Chim Chim Cher-ee
Retweeted by .:RiotGrl:.Life is all about perspective like, maybe you aren’t really bad at cooking maybe you’re just really good at ordering out
Retweeted by .:RiotGrl:.One day, your Mother is making you sandwiches and saying they love you. The next, they're telling you how you not h… https://t.co/TmciHTs7vs
Retweeted by .:RiotGrl:.A murderer, a rapist, and a bank robber walk into a bar. Trump pardons all three.
Retweeted by .:RiotGrl:.some days I'm so productive that I can fail at everything on my todo list before 9:00 AM
Retweeted by .:RiotGrl:. @PresTightrhymes Ty! ❤️ Me: https://t.co/akr3ghu78p Friend: https://t.co/k5bDw6BIfZThe twitter doctor said it was incurable, but it might be tweetable
Retweeted by .:RiotGrl:.i’m eating soggy chex mix out of a cup. tonight is lit
Retweeted by .:RiotGrl:.If you see someone tweet something like "my father died of COVID today, put on your mask, stay inside" and you feel… https://t.co/N03NaQQkHX
Retweeted by .:RiotGrl:.When your first year of life is 2020, everything is a sanitization station https://t.co/NdPaRElnVy
Retweeted by .:RiotGrl:.Our Administration will lead with science and scientists — with a CDC and NIH that are free from political influenc… https://t.co/8I88LBVALq
Retweeted by .:RiotGrl:.man some of y’all make twitter like not even worth doing you’re so fucking rude for no reason. @PoetCalloway What does this have to do with anything
1/19
2021
Melania is Josie Grossie all grown up. https://t.co/wLHvJzalMGi accidentally dropped acid at a music festival with 40k ppl in attendance once and i spent the entire trip trying not to die.a bee orgasm sounds like a honey bunches of ohhhhhhs. @J_Pantaloons The bottom is the most disturbing part hahahi, i’d like to report some public indecency https://t.co/O81w6D4k5qme: don't talk to me until I've had coffee them: u drink coffee? me: no
Retweeted by .:RiotGrl:.Her: Are you a dog person? Me: Werewolves aren't real, Karen
Retweeted by .:RiotGrl:.The only way to know the true age of Sonic The Hedgehog is to cut him in half & count the rings
Retweeted by .:RiotGrl:.2019: no carb diet 2021: too drunk to eat an 8th piece of pizza
Retweeted by .:RiotGrl:.Alice: I’m late. White Rabbit: Haha, that’s my line Alice: White Rabbit: Alice: *stares* White Rabbit: oh shit
Retweeted by .:RiotGrl:.but what if niagara stoodI like to ruin things by simply being myself.
Retweeted by .:RiotGrl:.MEN: but can I put my dick in it SLOT MACHINE: reallySelf deprication Because why let someone else make you the punchline
Retweeted by .:RiotGrl:.when I die, flush me down the toilet like a goldfish
Retweeted by .:RiotGrl:.Neck kisses from behind are hot, but the guy in front of me at the ATM didn't seem to think so.
Retweeted by .:RiotGrl:.Searching for two-liter bottles of Drakkar Noir on eBay.
Retweeted by .:RiotGrl:.Nobody: My 5-year-old: Mommies have eggs and daddies have perms. Smash them together and they make a giant baby t… https://t.co/ArvZH6oVZh
Retweeted by .:RiotGrl:.My husband is fixing the toilet and I can’t remember if I’m supposed to call the plumber after hearing “oh crap!” ten times or twenty times
Retweeted by .:RiotGrl:.My son and I both have creepy teenage facial hair. Only one of us is excited about it though.
Retweeted by .:RiotGrl:.If you want to make an Apple Crumble make it listen to "Everybody Hurts"
Retweeted by .:RiotGrl:.pbr stands for you’re not hip enough to know what pbr stands for.45 hours until 46. 🇺🇲
Retweeted by .:RiotGrl:.
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2021

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