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NurseBrianRN @rn_murse Brooklyn, NY

Singer-Songscreamer I Gay Homosexual I Pubic Figure

777 Following   5,252 Followers   27,193 Tweets

Joined Twitter 5/8/20


I'm WAY overdressed for this party https://t.co/HrTMvFlBQn
Retweeted by NurseBrianRNIt's concerning that my wife uses air quotes when she mentions our “marriage”
Retweeted by NurseBrianRNIntroducing: Daff Punk https://t.co/cHmsCMgMAq
Retweeted by NurseBrianRN @CruisinSoozan Criminal. 😘[Weezer voice] Come on and kick me You've got your problems I've got my eyes wide You got your big Gs I've got my.… https://t.co/mXzDjcEnOH
Retweeted by NurseBrianRN @fozzie4prez It’s just gross, Sprinks. @Walt_in_Ottawa @HeroesInColor00 @Deadpool @VancityReynolds Because @ADHDeanASL already did. https://t.co/LUcuV2bVVF @flippingtable @HeroesInColor00 A ridiculous thief. https://t.co/LUcuV2bVVF @Queenie_Hamlet @HeroesInColor00 https://t.co/LUcuV2bVVF @StormFan27 @HeroesInColor00 Guess again. https://t.co/LUcuV2bVVF @BrogdonRalph @HeroesInColor00 @halleberry Yes. @halleberry should see the original. https://t.co/LUcuV2bVVF @intrstller @HeroesInColor00 Thievery is not funny. @ADHDeanASL did this yesterday. https://t.co/LUcuV2bVVF @LizerReal 😂😂😂 @TommyRainmaker Then sending it, because I love you, brofriend. 😘sending an edible arrangement comprised entirely of honeydew, because i hate you.“Her desire was insatiable” the buffet manager said, banning us for life
Retweeted by NurseBrianRNTerror is finding a sealed food container in your kid’s room
Retweeted by NurseBrianRNNo one’s ever jizzed on my chest. Like ever. I know. My mom was real surprised, too.
3/7
2021
just two weeks til I can switch from seasonal depression to tropical depression
Retweeted by NurseBrianRNI keep renewing my auto warranty yet they’re still calling. How many times must I give them my credit card number?
Retweeted by NurseBrianRNWelcome to middle age. Popping and locking have a completely different meaning now.
Retweeted by NurseBrianRNScrolling through social media commenting “can’t relate” on every meme and tweet that doesn’t speak directly to me, am I doing this right??
Retweeted by NurseBrianRNyou don't really need a pilot's license, what are they going to do pull you over
Retweeted by NurseBrianRN[during sex] hold on, I got a notification.
Retweeted by NurseBrianRNAs they pulled onto Broadway, Percy watched a drunk stumble out of Houlihan's and vomit in the gutter. He saw Mrs.… https://t.co/lvOUURaDYi
Retweeted by NurseBrianRNWhomever is responsible will at least be able to take advantage of their world-famous railroad system. https://t.co/Ad2HOGp5tM
Retweeted by NurseBrianRNNormalize ordering takeout for four and eating it by yourself without shame
Retweeted by NurseBrianRNA bulletproof vest but for terrible puns
Retweeted by NurseBrianRNI’m not saying the vaccines definitely have microchips in them, but my Amazon recommendations are WAY better now
Retweeted by NurseBrianRNSome people own a Corvette, I own bathroom scales that go from 0-160 in 3 seconds flat.
Retweeted by NurseBrianRNIn France, they say “bonner chance” to wish your penis good luck on a first date.“it’s whom not who.” this is why no one invites you anywhere.
Retweeted by NurseBrianRN“i want someone to love me for who i am.” you better change who you are.
Retweeted by NurseBrianRNfor my funeral please make sure the dress i’m wearing has pockets
Retweeted by NurseBrianRNI’ve had Spotify for less than a year and it already understands me more than my ex-wife ever did
Retweeted by NurseBrianRNBorder collies are basically just the collies Mexico wouldn’t pay for.
Retweeted by NurseBrianRN*In my own room, minding my own business, getting dressed* My 4YO walks in: Oh, good. I’m glad you’re putting your boobs away
Retweeted by NurseBrianRNin Mother Russia edibles 🤝 the cake bakes you
Retweeted by NurseBrianRNMe: What a beautiful Saturday! The sun is shining, the snow is melting. What should I do first? Netflix: Here is s… https://t.co/GVxJYs8kvf
Retweeted by NurseBrianRNI lost my grandma to covid today She didn't die, I took her to bingo and they all look the same with their masks on
Retweeted by NurseBrianRNI have made far too many mistakes in my life to stop now
Retweeted by NurseBrianRNI’m more than a little bit surprised at how many of you simply do not worship me
Retweeted by NurseBrianRNi like you, but not 'let you know my real name' like you.
Retweeted by NurseBrianRNDarwin: [after observing nature] survival of the fittest Darwin: [after observing toddlers] ok what the fuck
Retweeted by NurseBrianRNcrankshaft implies the existence of crankballs
Retweeted by NurseBrianRNTo the tune of “Barbie Girl” 🎶 I’m a congressman making travel plans 🎶 -Ted Cruz in the showerflamingo flaminstay https://t.co/In58AKuH3y
Retweeted by NurseBrianRNAt the Hotel Rejection, turn-down service is free.
Retweeted by NurseBrianRNNot to brag, but most of my teachers considered me to be a no brainer.
Retweeted by NurseBrianRNInventor of the abacus: You can count on it!
Retweeted by NurseBrianRNme: I can’t pretend I’m not disappointed 16: me: I understand the boys and even the weed, but I thought I taught… https://t.co/CMmzS5owLS
Retweeted by NurseBrianRNI left Facebook because of the arguments about politics. That and seeing relatives I can’t stand. It was like havin… https://t.co/0hvCcW9bb6
Retweeted by NurseBrianRNUh oh! on Nickelodeon was the original bukkake.
Retweeted by NurseBrianRNThe kid who played goalie in mini sticks hockey now is the adult with trust issues.
Retweeted by NurseBrianRN @sarabellab123 @PrincesaBallena 🔥 😘 @prufrockluvsong I give you an extra hundo to scream, “don’t go up the stairs!” at random moments during the film.Bored at home? Miss going to movie theaters? For a nominal fee I can spill popcorn on your floor, kick the back of… https://t.co/iwt7Jom3QD
Retweeted by NurseBrianRNMayonnaise is a whole mood
Retweeted by NurseBrianRN @1000LivesSara 😉Microwaved revenge is a dish best served cold in the middle.
Retweeted by NurseBrianRNNo I was not "overly influenced" by Playboy in my youth. I'm sure lots of guys insist their wives wear a staple for a navel piercing.
Retweeted by NurseBrianRNRetail Wars Update: The Old Navy at Pier 1 has become a Target. There are many casual T's.
Retweeted by NurseBrianRNOne glance tells me you're a flight risk, but enchantingly also a fall risk.
Retweeted by NurseBrianRNTurtles are nature’s empanadas
Retweeted by NurseBrianRNHow old were you when you realized the words in the Electric Slide were “It’s a-LEG-trick”?
Retweeted by NurseBrianRNI put the ham in graham crackers
Retweeted by NurseBrianRNImagine falling in love with someone that replies with, “k”
Retweeted by NurseBrianRNGen Z only has time to worry about how to part their hair because Gen X rid the world of static cling
Retweeted by NurseBrianRNWe don’t “check” twitter. We live here.
Retweeted by NurseBrianRN"The nude abides." - The Big Lebowski, porno version
Retweeted by NurseBrianRNi do not appreciate netflix giving me just 5 seconds to find the remote while having a panic attack before taking away the skip intro button
Retweeted by NurseBrianRN @video_jame I need more fruits and vegetables in my life. Thank you for your service.going to a glory hole and pushing cucumbers and bananas through it to promote healthy lifestyles
Retweeted by NurseBrianRNi will be unavailable from 10am-12pm today. there will be a thunderstorm and i will be in my new bed vibing. sorry for any inconvenience
Retweeted by NurseBrianRNThere’s nothing more beautiful than an English spring and the promise that comes with it of tepid, rather than frigid, rain.
Retweeted by NurseBrianRNI just assembled a Winnie the Pooh tea table and chair set. Now I have to live with what I've done.
Retweeted by NurseBrianRNI live in constant fear of becoming well adjusted.
Retweeted by NurseBrianRNI'm stupid, but not the words they wrote are about me stupid.
Retweeted by NurseBrianRNThis day in history. 2005. The Day of the Dude is celebrated by members of The Church of the Latter-Day Dude so be… https://t.co/HKPuOHDH1C
Retweeted by NurseBrianRN:/ https://t.co/GCeiWPtetV
Retweeted by NurseBrianRNComma: ' Momma: omg are you high?!?
Retweeted by NurseBrianRNThe most Gen X thing I ever did was get roundhouse kicked to the face in a mosh pit during Björk’s set at Lilith Fa… https://t.co/3GsUDKzU4TFriday night and I am thriving* *overeating
Retweeted by NurseBrianRN @thearibradford @Roy_oh_Roy @itmegreggy @VikingJonesy @SvnSxty @Tobi_Is_Fab @mxmclain @PrincesaBallena @mom_thohttps://t.co/v01Qw13ORWIf we’re friends and you apologize to me for venting, I will karate kick you in the armpit. WHAT DO YOU THINK I’M H… https://t.co/cZg82nHhkc
Retweeted by NurseBrianRN
3/6
2021
The smallpox vaccination was the original “that’s gonna leave a mark.”
Retweeted by NurseBrianRNOut of focus is the original photo filter.
Retweeted by NurseBrianRN“Retweeting and ‘liking’ your followers multiple times will result in their returning the gesture in kind.” He lied. Oh, how he lied.
Retweeted by NurseBrianRNI need everyone to get RFID chipped so I can use a phone app to remember your name.
Retweeted by NurseBrianRNI'm so pissed, I joined the Sith and they told me my new name was Darth Necklube.
Retweeted by NurseBrianRNSomehow I doubt these 30-year-old neighborhood watch signs are going to deter many home invasions.
Retweeted by NurseBrianRNBarista: May I suggest a French vanilla caramel mocha? It pairs well with our bourbon maple bacon glazed donut. Me… https://t.co/nj1WyhhEMe
Retweeted by NurseBrianRNServer: I’m sorry sir, but we just sold out. Kanye: *glaring at guy at neighboring table who’s eating multiple bow… https://t.co/QYk3TR4k9l
Retweeted by NurseBrianRN*my daughter sees multiple baskets of laundry by the washer, sighs and sets her basket down in front* Me: All laun… https://t.co/MoOz0tbzr3
Retweeted by NurseBrianRNMy mating call is just "It's bad for you, want some?"
Retweeted by NurseBrianRN"Banksy!" I shout, leaving a poorly drawn ass in a gas station bathroom
Retweeted by NurseBrianRNI'd like to apologize to my metabolism for taking it for granted when I was younger. Miss you.
Retweeted by NurseBrianRNReading comprehension? Oh, you won't be needing that here
Retweeted by NurseBrianRNA Midwestern pianist and his magnum ope-us
Retweeted by NurseBrianRNI don't know anything about the royal family, but I like standards of behavior. I like restraint. I like when the s… https://t.co/pepMLbBTGQ
Retweeted by NurseBrianRN
3/5
2021

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