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I arrange, design, and sell shrubberies. Bootlickers will be blocked.

487 Following   209 Followers   10,322 Tweets

Joined Twitter 7/20/10

@Tasca3 @elonmusk Come on Bob, hook me up with that electric powertrain for my Pinto wagon. @gjcharlet First one is definitely a mix between Larry the Cable Guy and Johnny Vegas from QI. @lucyveepee Betrayed. @vindiesel That was ... unexpected.
@WFOJoe Of course I've seen The Wraith! @DIRECTV I've been trying to pay my DirecTV bill online for three days now and your payment system has been down th… @ATTHelp I've been trying to pay my DirecTV bill online for three days now and your payment system has been down th… @toddg21411 @MotherJones He's still at it with the bribery attempt: @mrsauntiepam I had a two-hour nap today, but it was from 7 AM to 9 AM, because I woke up at 4 this morning. @joshmillard @HalpernAlex It used to be a bunion in the ovenion. @cjponyparts @Sneaky_Sushi It's like, "How much more black could it be?" and the answer is "None. None more black."
@thomasirby @BitterOldPunk Poutine Hockey Tim's @UTOPIAFiber @Ty___Webb No, I'm staying. My ancestors didn't fight and die for this country to have me abandon it to MAGAts. @mrsauntiepam You and me both, sister @BitterOldPunk Six hundred miles at a stretch is the best way to get through Nebraska and Wyoming.
@peakauto I can skate on water. As long as it's frozen. @Debofthenorth Definitely have. One of my heroes. @AdrienneLaF CARtoons
@lukecmahler Oh, good. With all the repairs I have to do around the house I could use a boyfriend to help me. @AdrianneComedy I haven't even seen one in at least a decade. @BitterOldPunk Interesting bus paint job. @Specklet Your logic is irrefutable @gjcharlet I found you a hot rod. @TriXteRPhillips @BitterOldPunk Could it be that we were distracted by freezing our asses off because it was 10 below outside and ou… @BitterOldPunk She'd never seen the bridge over the Snake River by Twin Falls, so I told her when we got to that ex… @BitterOldPunk My wife and I were abducted by aliens on I-84 in the late 80s as we were driving from Utah to Boise. @ChrisCopeComedy If you don't land it, will they arrest the remains? @SenCoryGardner FACT CHECK: February 18, 2016 in YOUR own words, @SenCoryGardner : "I believe the next Supreme Cour…
Retweeted by Roger The Shrubber @ufez @BitterOldPunk No kidding there.
@ddale8 Hydrosonic. Faster than the sound of water? @safopus My wife's grandmother's sewing machine. @MotorRacinPress @slickwoodys @wcsohio @WorldofOutlaws @NosEnergyDrink @dirtvision You may have found NHRA's new title sponsor. @DevonESawa ForestRaker @atdanwhite The "Ween/Fartlander" wedding. OK. @MrDCompton I love The Abyss wholeheartedly. I haven't seen the other three. @ChrisCopeComedy @BitterOldPunk Not far away. Should've waved in a westerly direction. @EDblU1 @BoarThoughts @chrislhayes @maddow @AliVelshi You were clear, but we're saying the comparison of Turnip to…
.@LyleLovett I want to tell you how much I love your cover of "Friend of the Devil". It's so beautiful. Every time… @buddhatree Thank you for not calling it a "hot water heater". That drives me crazy. @CollinsforGA @realDonaldTrump Pro-fetus, right up until it's born. Then, pull yourself up by your bootstraps, infants! You're pathetic. @BitterOldPunk The first thing I remember laughing uncontrollably at was when we were in my grandfather's Jeep scou… @raceguitar @JPDragon @BitterOldPunk Right? Lifted mid-70s truck with a three-wheeler in the bed? Are you _sure_ you haven't ac… @BitterOldPunk Here's you, looking out the side window: "Corn, corn, corn, corn...road. Corn, corn, corn, corn, co… @funnybrad @JennyJohnsonHi5 That's actually more stunning than another picture of a celebrity in a swimsuit. @BoarThoughts @EDblU1 @chrislhayes @maddow @AliVelshi It's possible he meant "wild bore". @PaterAletheias @gjcharlet @Jen_Lee @sweetbabette I'm gonna print some with the upper portion of my face, but upside down.
@JoyAnnReid None. Simply "a conspiracy to seize power". Did Ike see this coming? He must be rolling over in his g…
Retweeted by Roger The Shrubber @JimDabakis Yesterday (Friday the 18th of September). Walgreens test, had the results within a couple of hours. Negative. @GoodSamFamily Oh, sure, I tell you, then _everyone_ wants to go there. Nice try! @ThatEricAlper Buddy Holly @brittneyg Same
@varindersingh24 Speed Buggy. Room-a-zoom-zoom! @SmirkingDork @liberalpuppy I'm in the 40-60 age group and I honestly can't decide. I'd say everyone under 40 is in… @JimCampbellFC Bought myself a fat-tire mountain bike for my birthday two years ago, and have yet to throw a leg ov… @mathowie Mine looks like it usually does, but it's not uncommon for me to go 2-3 years without a cut. @mkraju Vaccines for a hoax? He (and his followers) can't have it both ways. @LoganMania What's a "race track"? Sounds vaguely familiar, but I'm not sure. @crzyfkinworld Hell no, our family carries grudges for generations. @mrsauntiepam Dad's a wise man. @mrsauntiepam Christmas without kids gets boring. In a hurry. And then grandkids come along and it's magic again. @CNN TIL Van Morrison is still alive. @peakauto I was following this account before it was cool. That's right, I'm PEAK hipster. @jodiwilldare Do you have stock in a dental practice or something? @StephenKing Awww, sweet pupper. @MichaelCoudrey @ThatMattMurray You're going to double down on this bullshit? Wow. Keep digging, dude.
@LynzforCongress @NDLB2020 The Breakfast Club, if you're going for a Hughes movie @colinmochrie Or brainwashing, take your pick. @bader_diedrich What, "Movie Star" wasn't available? @LimburgGarth @KUTV2News OK, boomer. @PaigeBMacdonald The end of America @ddale8 He means for nine holes. @toddg21411 @AblueUs Me too @gnvkmom A-freaking-men @raceguitar The key word is 'true'. They're not trying to find anything that's true, they're going to gaslight ever… @KUTV2News There isn't a place in law enforcement for "dirty work". Good riddance. @ThatTonyH The cowboy one is "Open Range", with Kevin Costner and Robert Duvall, from 2003. The last one is "One On… @Nurse_K_ Probably. Little John Little Joh-ohn Little not-so-good John @NHRAReinhart There used to be a "Bum Steer" cafe in Salmon, Idaho where my grandparents lived in the Seventies. I… @miketrull1999 And even then he has to sound out any words with two or more syllables.
@phinandme RBG @MJMcKean Because when the country gets too sick to survive, he'll leave it, just like he did with his first wife. @alexalper @PressSec @ThatTonyH I'm a big fan of Runaway Jury just for the chance to see Hackman and Hoffman together on-screen. @ThatTonyH @MJMcKean @Ordinary1World Frozen margaritas. Snuggling into a warm bed on a cold night. The ungodly skeleton-shaking roar of… @mrsauntiepam Where are you getting that deal? I can't even sit in my dentist's waiting room for $50. @davenewworld_2 Doesn't Florida's "stand your ground" law allow you to shoot people who you feel are threatening your life? @AliceAldcroft One...ONE! ONE FAVORITE VAMPIRE! AHAHAHAHAHA! @_daveharrison @WisDems Sixty-five. @DocAtCDI Patrick Warburton @brittneyg The Challenger thing. Wow. @UT_CritThnkr @Jessica69461301 I can think of two right off the top of my head. @DougStanhope @TheShadyDell You didn't book the Chris Craft?