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Rowan Kaiser @RowanKaiser Kansas City, MO

Speculative fiction critic-at-large. Queer.

1,273 Following   6,881 Followers   410,399 Tweets

Joined Twitter 1/30/10


@VK_HM @tobleronejones @the1kim that's a noun bro @tobleronejones @VK_HM @the1kim cheese (v): anything that actually works consistentlyI, too, would love to make films with the most popular directors on the planet. https://t.co/ZR842NZtgzthis is why elected officials cannot abolish the police. they are literally threatened by them voting does not wor… https://t.co/dAr0MpnrU0
Retweeted by Rowan Kaiserjust saw the Bloodlines episode of Supernatural and you know what, maybe they should have gone for a TVD Supernatural show @RowanKaiser this is online by australian dad standards though
Retweeted by Rowan KaiserJoe Ingles has an ALLY shirt? oh my god get more online jingles, ffs @TheFuggle elliot lustig @JeremyMonjo wownot a full sock puppet but I thoroughly enjoyed that resistance fucker with the zinedine zidane icon who was never… https://t.co/XyiERvVmtnNEWS: Blizzard staff put together an anonymous spreadsheet Friday to compare salaries and pay raises as part of an… https://t.co/gxasPFdCw8
Retweeted by Rowan Kaiser
8/4
2020
@AsaTJ fortunately this isn't rises"how are you doing today, rowan?" "well, I was fucking miserable, but then I saw the movie poll results"oh god yes https://t.co/ExGsTZqpfD @hollye83 great no context tweetsomething I enjoy in Star Wars is that, because the Senate's abolished on-screen in A New Hope, it means the entire… https://t.co/bgkFwos3lr
Retweeted by Rowan Kaiser @voellig hey abby. congrats on the fa cupLooking at my drafts folder after a night of drinking can be a lot of fun https://t.co/XdYca7gunc
Retweeted by Rowan Kaiser @Gliitchy long as nobody gets yoda @Balefuego a little bit. had promise, from what I've heard, promise seems to be being fulfilledokay, even I have to admit early access is out of control https://t.co/LlkMKJrLnWME, SOBBING, NON-FUNCTIONAL: these feelings are so real. i feel so valid as a womanCoach Bud looks like he's here to fix the ACand they say you can't find soulmates on tinder https://t.co/2dj0PWKcWoi miss looking forward to things
Retweeted by Rowan Kaiser @RowanKaiser I'm my own Hopi best friend, who is no longer with us
Retweeted by Rowan Kaiser @RowanKaiser But “Rowan Gets Some Bad News” already showed up as an episode title on IMDB!
Retweeted by Rowan Kaiser @sleepguava what if seinfeld get covid from iphone @CoraLinehan god bless the internetthe management of @rowankaiser regrets to inform fans that the character's next arc has been delayed after "faking… https://t.co/iBuPXcQ2peSo, apparently an academic pseudo account has been around since 2016, and had a few thousand followers. They had be… https://t.co/RWHsa2E9rr
Retweeted by Rowan Kaiser
8/3
2020
@trappedinazorb gotta stick with books. no sound.Don’t you love seeing both parties come together to abolish homelessne... Er... condemn TikTok https://t.co/5jBCqEVdTS
Retweeted by Rowan KaiserSHADOW EMPIRE (Slitherine Ltd., 2020) https://t.co/V4ViNP5LX0 @full_kaimmunism @JeremyMonjo @coopercooperco he warned us (jingleghost) @still_wine fuck, I've been practicing Double Dash insteadIt’s taken me decades with an anxiety disorder & lots of therapy to believe it but some of you experiencing uncerta… https://t.co/zvjSjibpHs
Retweeted by Rowan Kaiser
8/2
2020
One of these things is not like the others https://t.co/5Ygz8QhfcY
Retweeted by Rowan Kaisermy bullshit.....hello https://t.co/mtRWDf2KOQThe #garbagecat is safe from Covid and ready for baseball season! https://t.co/krfoDcBJzVMark Jackson praising the work ethic and teaching ability of a rapist and a PED user, neat, glad the NBA's back and he's still on broadcasts @voellig well of courseThe homie told the truth and I’m obligated to share it. https://t.co/HJFTRsjfxD
Retweeted by Rowan Kaiser @voellig congrats to abby and abby alonewell shitThis Pulisic kid seems pretty good at soccer, anyone heard of him? @grandjoke here is the garbage cat in all his glory https://t.co/OD0EPAlbIa @grandjoke I do have an orange kitty too! @LeFrenchAccent I think he might be hiding in the garbageStill https://t.co/ShOmVdKFcWDumb baby https://t.co/D22edeyzghbarack obama, watching vote suppression drastically ratchet up since his election in '08, including himself throwin… https://t.co/2uxYUPKESh
Retweeted by Rowan Kaiserthis is the single lowest effort, most obvious post i have ever made, and if it does numbers i will go fucking ball… https://t.co/uy2Qg4yeC5
Retweeted by Rowan Kaiser @JeremyMonjo you know what happens when you say that righthttps://t.co/3XjWyy1cc7
Retweeted by Rowan Kaiserthis MLS game is fucking wild @lgbtqfc .....discord?
8/1
2020
“I’m in an NBA group chat and my friend Will was venting about a girl and sent a large wall of text I was not inter… https://t.co/YUOUTdHsk9
Retweeted by Rowan Kaiser @discoshark_ oh no(that's not true, I like "HOW MANY MORE" most because it puts the emphasis on the need for change)it's funny how I, of all people, find "I AM A MAN" the most respectable of all the ones I've seenMPJ had to choose between "Education Reform," which is what dumbasses have on their jerseys, and "Stand Up," which… https://t.co/aGYamlDkoa
Retweeted by Rowan Kaiser @discoshark_ a white guy not knowing what to put feels like a different category, but yeahSome stories just have a perfect finish.... Don't need to hear anymore about this one https://t.co/MYbC6iulPQ
Retweeted by Rowan Kaiserapologies to these nerds, but CJ McCollum's "EDUCATION REFORM" takes the nerd cake, wow https://t.co/dcwLyRe0aFAfter 4 months of social distancing I feel like Jack in The Shining could have kept it together a little better. He… https://t.co/IKs1SK41Rb
Retweeted by Rowan Kaiser @MOOMANiBE mmmm, combining things......... @RowanKaiser https://t.co/jmsaOEvz2X
Retweeted by Rowan Kaiser @RowanKaiser https://t.co/uINtzQEI02
Retweeted by Rowan Kaisernba is definitely back, league pass is fucking upI know this is a fully inappropriate reaction but I really wanna send these tweets back in time to Fox Mulder or so… https://t.co/IpcmmOY3fU @SarahKinCA I mean, yes, but also specifically the past couple. @CoraLinehan @jbouie and Nixon's silent majority, it's whiteness all the way down @Boringstein @coopercooperco #TeamMikeBidenare other people having major escalations of anxiety and depression in the last week or two, or is it the communities I'm in?reversing the ship of state after trump will be an all hands task and the vice president should be chosen with that… https://t.co/oHCrQgfSnv
Retweeted by Rowan KaiserThis has an absolutely, categorically insane first paragraph https://t.co/Ud3UDIHukf
Retweeted by Rowan Kaiserwhy.....why am I even subscribed to Medium's daily digest https://t.co/fAYUsMwAyX @Balefuego yeah, everything has escalated my "play for half an hour or play for six weeks straight" instinctsMy new op-ed. The NYPD is *unreformable.* Despite decades of reform, they're still using banned chokeholds. Cars, c… https://t.co/ykFCwz3521
Retweeted by Rowan Kaiser @taraisagirl i dare you @MBCnotNBC oh, you mean your fiance? @MBCnotNBC fun times, hey? @MBCnotNBC arguably the best episode of the series for sure @AriDrennen extrovert and a hot slut suddenly, just terrible @AriDrennen started feb 27th so. you know.let's get #CumsForCain trending for a great american! https://t.co/xf5eYDiIHz
Retweeted by Rowan KaiserI mean, seriously @nytimes, do you think you are writing for children? https://t.co/nzN0ZCQ29B
Retweeted by Rowan Kaiser @theKatriarch my main concern in every case is tweets @AriDrennen hnnnnnnnnggggggggggggggggggggPolicies, sure, tweets, no. https://t.co/zqpgcbG0RFOnce more, with feeling: Disband the Department of Homeland Security, repeal the Homeland Security Act of 2002, an… https://t.co/GpM7NIRGL1
Retweeted by Rowan Kaiser
7/31
2020
"this is a relationship based on production" - Stan Van Gundy, Marxist Analystjudging every NBA player who went with a shirt saying "equality" or "peace" as a total nerdRudy Gobert ended the NBA season and now he restarts it, perfect @Balefuego bahahahahathank u Shaq for telling people to vote and Chuck saying it's okay for people not to kneel, Inside the NBA is reall… https://t.co/jUNjSQ76bL @mattie_kaiser believing in distraction theory is what Putin wants, wake up sheepleDeath Stranding (2019) https://t.co/0whaG1CEUN
Retweeted by Rowan Kaiserwondering how long people are going to be terrified to make new commitments (especially but only limited to romanti… https://t.co/QnCn1aMq9H
7/30
2020

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