Sign in with Twitter


*Powered by coffee, beer, gin, hockey, and sarcasm. Opinionated fact-based data nerd.

111 Following   17 Followers   1,085 Tweets

Joined Twitter 4/21/11

The best article I’ve read on the insanity of the QAnon cult.
@alfranken @JoyAnnReid TBH @alfranken I want a govt run by those who can read, aren’t foreign agents, and aren’t gr… LIKE AN EPIDEMIOLOGIST: why are COVID deaths *still* not going up 3 weeks after case counts started increasin…
Retweeted by Better Late Than Never @HendricksGin Apparently I’m a bit of a heretic for using lime. @MeidasTouch @DevinCow What do the tears of political corruption taste like? Bitter? Salty? #LeaveMeALoan @altNOAA Unfortunately, many American parents checked out of child responsibility and outsourced it to schools. Ame… @StoryWorthy Goldfish are for snacking. Cheez-its are for when the edibles hit and you are out of pretzels. @tobymorton @DevinCow @taylorswift13 @kanyewest was registered in 2018. Either Kanye is pla… @DevinCow Pump them both up with some hydroxychloroquin since Trump thinks it’s prophylactic. @NicoleAtkins @brainpickings Fave quote: “Take things as they are. Punch when you have to punch. Kick when you have to kick.” @NicoleAtkins I like your handwriting, whatever you were using provided some nice line variation.
@evanjstern @Twitter My Canadian brother, this would make the world a better place. Which is why it basically won’t happen. @altNOAA 2020 has finally gotten to you, hasn’t it.
@jacobtierney79 All we need now are radioactive penguins the size of school busses. @StoryWorthy Strong opinion there. Those LA pretzels must have a different salt to dust ratio than what we have in the Midwest. @CassieMaie @TheTigerGin Lots of good intention leads to under estimation of quantity. Just think of what would hap… @StoryWorthy The big grains that sort of float on top of the pretzel dust?This is my Hamilton experience and probably the closest I’ll get to actually seeing it.
@StoryWorthy <inhales slowly, through teeth> Yeaaaahhh. I dunno, I mean you use AT&T and it makes me question your… @PhizLair Is there a Divorce Song for this? @WhiteHouse @realDonaldTrump she the gf for Jr AND a campaign official or a campaign official who happens to be sleeping with mini-Don? @StoryWorthy Not here either. Thought there was a raid with flash bangs the other night. A-holes.
@ginandcomic1 @TheTigerGin I thought drinking gin was supposed to improve eyesight. Damn you 2020! @TheTigerGin @democrat_nyc @jwgop @ProjectLincoln Don’t forget кофэфэ (covfefe) après golf. @ProjectLincoln @NicoleAtkins One of the few songs where the lyrics got me before the music. Side note, I bet @heartlessbstrds coul… @davezawislak @evacide Clogging problem? @ACTforAmerica @realDonaldTrump Imagine if Trump focused on the coronavirus instead of golfing.Cause if you like it, then you shoulda put a mask on it
Retweeted by Better Late Than Never @evanjstern @ilieknachos Just chips and cheese or with jalapeño slices?
@edburmila Speaking of reflecting, did you know tomatoes will grow better if you use a foil sheet as mulch under th… @PhizLair @beastieboys 🙌 @AngrierWHStaff How are Republican millionaires going to keep their fortunes when all of their poorly paid employees die? @StoryWorthy She should have been hidden until Trump was out of office for maximum effect. @davidmweissman @ProjectLincoln Finger or...? @DanRather “If you’re elderly and not rich, the government doesn’t care about your health.” @wunderground Or let people opt in or out of alerts and instead work on not having such a toilet UI. @NicoleAtkins I’d make a suggestion, but having gov agencies show up at my door isn’t going to improve the situation. @aedwardslevy @dataandpolitics If someone is still following Vanilla Ice, perhaps they should get what they deserve. @markknoller @dataandpolitics @LindseyGrahamSC @foxandfriends I hear it’s easier to swing a club when you’re not on your knees. @PhizLair The child snatcher or Pennywise from It? @AngrierWHStaff Remember the old Looney Tunes cartoon where Bugs saws a state off the continent? Yeah, that’s where we’re at. @MenInBlazers One is a shot to the nutsack for ManU, the other is just a nutsack. @AshaRangappa_ @AngrierWHStaff Had someone been smart, they’d have grabbed Maxwell and hid her until Trump was out of office. @dataandpolitics How long until he tweets out legalarguement.jpg? @Kaderson @kaniehtiio I think SpaceFace has Twitter beat as the toilet of social media. Twitter is more like a urinal in a dingy bar.You can watch some new #Letterkenny bloopers if you want to. Happy Canada Day! @LetterkennyProb 🍁
Retweeted by Better Late Than NeverAdm. Brett Giroir: "We are not flattening the curve right now. The curve is still going up." Full video here:…
Retweeted by Better Late Than Never @DrBronner @alexgreycosm Still waiting for that experience. @edburmila And don’t forget that @ChuckGrassley feels he needs to be on the Federal dole for farm subsidies despite…⚡️ @TSNBobMcKenzie Bobby Margarita what’s the over/under on an outright cancellation of the season and just starting RTP fresh for 20-21?
@PreetBharara That implies he can read. @evanjstern You don’t need to be a politician to do that. #OfficeSpace @cathybrigham @edburmila @BucciSays Answer Cathy needs to up her game and move to @ProtonMail. @RadBrewCo If you aren’t sourcing these from WI or ONT, how do I know these are actually curds?
@edburmila @RepMattGaetz Laughable from a guy who “raised” a Cuban teenager and is compromised by an authoritative regime. @N1M1C31 @MollyJongFast #StreisandEffect @dataandpolitics Not any sort of OpSec or InfoSec problems there. None at all. Everything’s fine. @shannonwoodward Trying to figure out how to make a Raising Hope mini-series trend, so someone gets on that. I need…
@edburmila @cathybrigham Admit it Ed, you just wanted to use a meat cylinder reference as a triple entendre for din… @teyowisonte @kaniehtiio Less root for the Empire and more cosplay _as_ the Empire while watching the films. The at…
@shannonwoodward @whoisgreggarcia I mentioned this earlier in the week.What do you have to say @ToddYoungIN and @SenatorBraun? @realDonaldTrump The only joke about this is the guy sending the tweet. @dataandpolitics They created the website using Emacs or Vim and will fight you if you think there’s a better editor. @dataandpolitics Don’t forget Beefy Balls. @HoarseWisperer @WhiteHouse @realDonaldTrump @IvankaTrump Looks like she had a ‘kidney problem’ that filled the skills gap. @altNOAA I’m fascinated by weather, climate modeling, physics, and remote sensing. I have experience in one of thos… @dataandpolitics You find some great places to escape to. @StoryWorthy Bolton’s mustache _is_ his upper lip. It fused to the skin while his mouth was firmly planted on a politician’s ass. #TrueStory @sharpemcelroy @StoryWorthy This is an insult to squirrels, who look far more distinguished and are definitely more… @altNOAA How is it that people just don’t understand this concept? I’d like to see friends and family, but I could… @SViszlai @altNOAA @peltzmadeline That would be an insult to Vegas entertainers. @levparnas @DevinCow Ron Johnson is a sorry excuse for a Senator. Good thing he’s not up for re-election.
@edburmila That last line is peak America. @dataandpolitics For a guy who is intent on repeating the fluke of 2016, he sure seems to care a lot about poll num… @ProjectLincoln Republicans outwardly pushing for a Democrat and I had to wear a mask to go *in to* a liquor store.… @NHLonNBCSports @TSNBobMcKenzie So you’re saying that even with a 25% chance for the Sens, the Wings are a top draw? Um, no.I love how spicy Dan has gotten on social media. @StoryWorthy If we’re talking about the stimulus I spent on overtipping and donating to charity, I _might_ have sai… @altNOAA Reason #2 showing that Republicans are not the party of pro-life.
@pattonoswalt He’s a mini-Mooch. @ProjectLincoln Dementum?
@MenInBlazers Dollar Store David Bowie @DylanPlayfair Wake up wondering what day it is and go to bed feeling like I skipped a month of leg days. That’s 2020. @kaniehtiio @realDonaldTrump Jail dumbass. You need to be sentenced to prison to actually end up there. @AngrierWHStaff You read Gin and Tacos don’t you. @shannonwoodward Seriously...bring this back as a special episode of Raising Hope. @hbecerraLATimes @dataandpolitics @joelrubin @DavidZahniser @AlpertReyes It’s like a chapter in a Bosch novel.11 Simple Cocktail Recipes To Try While Quarantining
Retweeted by Better Late Than Never @realDonaldTrump I’m moderately sure Dr Fauci doesn’t actually care about approval ratings. His job is to protect t… @kaniehtiio Sweet ginger you have there.Knowing it’s been a strange year when a pint and a haircut is the ultimate dream
Retweeted by Better Late Than Never @ProjectLincoln If I stop counting the empty bottles on the counter, I must not be drunk.A @Wharton alum right there ladies and gentleman. Telling us that to gain more, do less. Pretty sure that’s now how…