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108 Following   17 Followers   795 Tweets

Joined Twitter 4/21/11


.@edburmila how do assclowns like @DevinNunes keep getting re-elected? Asshattery, gerrymandering, or straight ticket voting?
11/20
2019
@edburmila “Karen, keep your hands off those maple pecan pretzels. You have a whole rack of artificially flavored p… https://t.co/H3bqAjDDgc @jessphoenix2018 Whatever you do, don’t watch The Taco Chronicles on @netflix. @realDonaldTrump Well...if you’d talk to your wife...
11/18
2019
@DrJenGunter Remember Donkey Kong? It’s like you’re doing really well at jumping barrels, leveling up, and having y… https://t.co/qR7NoVY63p
11/16
2019
@jessphoenix2018 With Kelly McCormack as a teammate, you might need to up your chirp game. cc: @LetterkennyProb @jessphoenix2018 My records are in the Ascension system. Other personal records have already been stolen at least 4… https://t.co/rGZZ0kVl7e @evanjstern Need a soundtrack to go with a montage of you doing rando blocking. Downbeat dubstep? Space disco drum… https://t.co/DLBEOqctgpIf I wanted to see contortionists I would go to Cirque du Soleil It’s far more entertaining than watching Republic… https://t.co/3IbxpPP5aA
Retweeted by Better Late Than Never
11/12
2019
@gin_and_tacos some #eyebleach for you: https://t.co/1aoSBUdHfK
11/10
2019
@realDonaldTrump Absolutely correct. Too bad that person isn’t you.
11/1
2019
@MonicaLewinsky Watched two episodes or so and just couldn’t stand the cringe. The acting must be well enough thoug… https://t.co/aDcapewyq3 @evanjstern Yank as in what Roald wants to do with Strrt? @altNOAA What’s the backstory on the life raft adventure?Make America America Again. https://t.co/92gG7qsRD3
Retweeted by Better Late Than Never
10/17
2019
@jessphoenix2018 It’s an interview on Fox News...of course it’s bullshit.
10/8
2019
@Angisjohnson @rmayemsinger @LindseyGrahamSC If by things you’re referring to males, I think you may have hit that nail. @tedcruz @HoustonRockets @dmorey @NBA They carried Rockets games in Canada? @gin_and_tacos That was a Jedi mind trick, they were actually puffins all along.
10/7
2019
@gin_and_tacos @Mammalman722 https://t.co/D4fpy8O4do @Dartmouth_MIH @DannyBoyBeer https://t.co/GRrg3HUaub @TheOnion putting the arrow just a bit close to the bullseye. https://t.co/tmRKGxJhsV @KamalaHarris @dataandpolitics Stop the words and start the action. Lip service does nothing. If you expect people… https://t.co/GDqCSwZ5Kq @dataandpolitics Must have been a hell of a typo. @Sugar__Lumps @KagroX @KevinMKruse done😉 https://t.co/lmaxs06BQx
Retweeted by Better Late Than Never @shannonwoodward IPA Ice Cream? Totally not badass. IPA Cheese? Worse. IPA Vacation? Marginally better. @dataandpolitics @vcstarterkit Depends on the quality of the vest. Lots of companies will do the work though. Depen… https://t.co/xty3xoPnAt
9/24
2019
@dataandpolitics Midwest ver: We want you on an interview panel for an IT candidate with an MS and no experience wh… https://t.co/uSs1pCIZzJ
9/23
2019
@DrJenGunter @FDRLST The first source cited is WebMD. Sorry, but that’s juuuust a bit of a red flag. @gin_and_tacos if you haven’t read this, it’s an engaging read. https://t.co/Gm9olXpaKP
9/10
2019
@JimGaffigan Reading that in a Russian accent definitely sends the tone in the wrong direction. @gin_and_tacos WTF...no duct tape?
9/9
2019
@AZHbomb @dataandpolitics Must include a rabbit in the logo for a double entendre.
8/26
2019
A member of the Danish Parliament, @IdaAuken, just showed the entire world exactly how to handle Trump. Absolutely… https://t.co/DIcZ3fyot1
Retweeted by Better Late Than Never @Goddessljt @soledadobrien The dude with the crocs totally makes me think these 💩are better than anyone. 🙄 @GraigMeyer If people don’t feel sorry for the soccer kid standing there, they can see themselves out. @StoryWorthy @realDonaldTrump No really don’t. Give him a chance to be the only Trump that might not go to prison. @annetdonahue Apparently Brady thinks that if PK Subban can do it, he can too.
8/25
2019
@PadmaLakshmi Can’t believe I haven’t seen ‘The Karens’ in the list of suggestions. @AviationGin @VancityReynolds Aviation American Gin...it’s what Vancouver’s water tastes like if you aren’t American. @DrJenGunter @halseanderson So it’d smell like corn chips?
8/24
2019
The commenting tweets are 🥇 https://t.co/HDKiVoOVU6 @soledadobrien There will always be a need for plumbers, electricians, and carpenters. Maybe even more so with clim… https://t.co/NmvSyqEfcN @dataandpolitics Man...as a blue resident of a red state, I’d be fooked..@apolyakova with advances in ML/AI, is it possible that some of Trump’s spelling gaffes are intentional as a signa… https://t.co/vDCdsXIVzf @evacide Conspiracy version: NSO sells Pegasus to Saudis as a backdoor for the Mossad. Especially since NSO is usin… https://t.co/Dp7KpznVSI @DrBronner There is a certain amount of trade-off that occurs for product selection. Knowing where something is mad… https://t.co/hiiQI8mXt7
8/23
2019
@gin_and_tacos Concrete bump-outs...just the thing you want to break your face on when running from an attacker. Or… https://t.co/5b2X0H8kui @ananavarro Everyone seems to be hung up on Tweeto being a self-anointed Chosen One in a religious sense. More like… https://t.co/wo9GlDOkLA @bluffworks Definitely. While I haven’t personally tried this test with Originals, I have tried it with Meridian s… https://t.co/KWM0YSoMiAJust when you think you may have heard it all about terrible interviews... https://t.co/vMiGS1waoL @carolyneholmes So the Mercator Projection is the Trump of map projections? With the level of exaggeration I’d say it’s fair. @MenInBlazers Why does IG even want Everton? #SorryRog @gin_and_tacos @dataandpolitics Peoria has an airport?
8/22
2019
@bluffworks — field testing? https://t.co/XNie7by1Ie @ScottWalker You might want to #AskAGynocologist like @DrJenGunter how this all works there super chief. @altNOAA Healthcare is for chumps. But Greenland. Greenland is the Bitcoin of Earth’s properties. Buy now before the value goes ⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️. @jessphoenix2018 If you like flavored beans, try @BerresBrothers Highlander Grogg. I’m reasonably confident you won’t be disappointed.
8/21
2019
@DrJenGunter You know, I was thinking an autographed copy of The Bible (Doc Jen Version) would make a good gift for… https://t.co/mpq9IQ37Pb @chuckwoolery Go to bed old man, you’re sundowning. @StoryWorthy @kenolin1 The fact the Tweeto doesn’t drink, combined with the fact that he’s up all night...how much… https://t.co/ndtf2fx7RJ @ColinHanks Especially if they’re Illinois Nazis. I hate Illinois Nazis.
8/20
2019
@blakehounshell The Russian bots in the replies 😳 @jessphoenix2018 Enhanced headline: Fat toddler whines when man doesn’t give him milk and cookie.
8/19
2019
@DevinCow @MNoriega50 @MollyJongFast If Molly’s your spirit animal, what does that make you to Devin Nunes?
8/18
2019
@jessphoenix2018 Reno, NV (no state income tax, @SouthwestAir flies there) or maybe the Big Island of Hawaii (coffe… https://t.co/2SrpG1MaKU @charliekirk11 @realDonaldTrump Even if you cited your terribly biased sources, you’d still be an assclown. @spaghetti_life @pattonoswalt His nanny was taken by ICE after he turned her in. Kinda left him without a viable alternative. @evanjstern https://t.co/G2QXNinRcA @ryan4982 @MenInBlazers Lucky 8 Bald @MenInBlazers Pep, please step into the airlock. @KaceyKadoodles The description sounds like REM Motion Disorder. Signed, In-sleep Marathoner @gin_and_tacos TBH, “proud boys” sounds like a gang faction in Peter Pan. @jessphoenix2018 @ashhleyyrc Great strawman fallicy...though I’m pretty sure LGBTQ students don’t ‘practice’ being… https://t.co/Q7cXF1vTvg @welshbollocks Apparently: Jones y sanau @DonaldJTrumpJr This seems like the @FamilyGuyonFOX episode where Lois’ father publishes Brian’s terrible novel. #NovelNovelYoureWorkinOn @EugeneMirman No khakis as in the color or the style of pants better known as chinos? Yes, some miscreants call chi… https://t.co/BlSFTHCheA @realDonaldTrump Apparently someone called the Tweeto out on some bullshit which calls for —— A TWEET STORM 🙄 @realDonaldTrump That crowd looks SUPER into it @realDonaldTrump https://t.co/vGqCBGW7XY
8/17
2019
@kaniehtiio There’s zero chance I’d ever see this unfold, but it’d be worth a few drinks to see it happen. @realDonaldTrump Seriously...could you be a bigger twat? @soledadobrien It’s like you’re Sean Connery in The Presidio beating a dude senseless with your thumb. 👊
8/16
2019
@DrJenGunter I don’t even hear from my own family, much less randos that think I want to chat.
8/15
2019
@kaniehtiio Cowards. @charliekirk11 @realDonaldTrump You dumbasses need to take a course on population dynamics. @RogueNASA Pray for our livers. It’s the only part of thoughts and prayers that might do something. @anildash As a Midwesterner, this speaks to me.
8/14
2019
@realDonaldTrump @CNN Dammit man, do something for the country for once. @StoryWorthy @realDonaldTrump A MAGgott should know that wearing the flag is disrespectful. Daly still on the bottle? @gin_and_tacos Also also right wingers: if ya don’t remove your cap during my beloved anthem I’m gonna crack your s… https://t.co/fANkvdfBP7 @ananavarro @jessphoenix2018 @JoeBiden Was it #covfefe or was it supposed to be кофэфэ? @jessphoenix2018 @MonicaLewinsky came out intact, aside from some pride which she has owned her part in. Following… https://t.co/ijCXeRBm0a
8/13
2019
@gin_and_tacos If polling is still solely done by phone canvassing, it should be obvious why the old white guy is in the lead.Another great way to help teachers! Thanks Anil! Go to @DonorsChoose to help needy schools in YOUR town or district… https://t.co/ry7zrtl3bz
Retweeted by Better Late Than Never
8/12
2019
@realDonaldTrump America wasn’t half bad until your fraudulent election. @MenInBlazers #PeopleDyingInside @avantgame @MonicaLewinsky Neither Facebook nor Twitter can serve ads remotely close to my interests. Not going to… https://t.co/r38ehcJAqs
8/11
2019
@richardscottwor @TheTigerGin @TheHuntsmanInn Be sure to check out the #gin selection at McCambridges while in #Galway. @jessphoenix2018 The washing machine is definitely the worse of the two. Seriously, who wants to go out in the mid… https://t.co/YuklGn7UNJ
8/10
2019

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