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Ryan @ryandpetersen New York, USA

U.S. Ambassador to the Holy See

149 Following   447 Followers   395 Tweets

Joined Twitter 4/21/20


Would legit cry if my dad asked me this while I was playing xenoblade https://t.co/xbq4EFocDaThe “are ya winning, son?” dad seems like such a good father
12/15
2020
TIME’s 2020 Person of the Year https://t.co/9ol7NFZ2rRShoutout to my fellow radicals
12/11
2020
Good morning https://t.co/iLvCxhxqoB
12/10
2020
The Queen’s Gambit is like if Ryan Murphy made an American Girl Doll tv show.Cyberpunk 2077 looks like a game that your whole Funko Pop family can enjoy
12/9
2020
The fact that phones still “run out of battery” is very old-fashioned
12/8
2020
Have no idea what this list was in reference to... https://t.co/awEk7yJnmOThe new Boyhood https://t.co/2tL2UlMVf6
12/3
2020
Shinning down a drainpipe to escape a gay orgy
12/2
2020
God doesn’t owe you anything
11/29
2020
Aubrey Plaza... she really does it for you guys ??We Are Who We Are (2020) https://t.co/ZOsdCCwRyN
11/28
2020
I’m like Benjamin Button, but in reverse. @cumdrizzle Ok we stan 🐟 @cumdrizzle Does this include fish tho?
11/27
2020
No screenshots of your “Zoomsgiving” please...??? https://t.co/qTqlyfRVAn
11/26
2020
Sean Penn’s performance in Milk and Sean Penn’s performance in I Am Sam are identical.
11/25
2020
Hit my head at the gym yesterday and only cried for a little bit...feeling braver than the troops rn 🤕 https://t.co/Zag9I6AFs0
11/24
2020
@flirty800 You’d rather I just let them die?? https://t.co/sOCvWa0zwh
11/20
2020
Now there’s my president ❤️ https://t.co/sbZMTrfrqN
11/15
2020
you: anxiety-driven, a slave to big corporate, hitting refresh on the Walmart check-out page, desperate for the las… https://t.co/TyzLN8nP4pHave an idea for a spiritual sequel to Altman’s Nashville...it takes place in Los Angeles during the 2020 Democrati… https://t.co/vpv8ZJEGFC
11/13
2020
🔥❤️😍👍 https://t.co/IacJv4RydW
Retweeted by Ryan
11/12
2020
He sits too close to the tv...gonna ruin his eyesight. https://t.co/AAGF7jpuLiCan’t wait to play Metroid Prime 4 during the Tucker Carlson presidency 🙂English K-pop songs sound like Cocteau Twins...
11/10
2020
Messy 🚬’s ..... We Were Four Years in Power 😞At least Trump understood that politics IS unending warfare.
11/8
2020
We did it, @flirty800. https://t.co/65Nd62nNz3My boyfriend is going to court to stop my new ig followers from being counted. https://t.co/Yj2ipJ0zYV
11/7
2020
So Biden wins and all the sudden I’m getting cursed spam texts ?? https://t.co/cw4J7HsA0N @PatrikSandberg When they still let Kellyanne go on all the cable news networks
11/6
2020
Count every PS5 preorder. We’ll wait.
11/5
2020
The election, like the pandemic, is a giant cloud of contradictory data; it takes the shape of whatever narrative i… https://t.co/LY604a4Q5zGood morning, post-election morning 😄 https://t.co/nrwtrBgfuNCan’t wait to wear my VOTE mask tomorrow :)
11/4
2020
Ok so which one are you voting for? https://t.co/XVhRkRZguYShort stories about now will be like “I ran into my ex in line for early voting. He wasn’t wearing a mask, or rathe… https://t.co/SiBf80AktN @nicefriend420 Adult braces (for the aesthetic) @Fratty_Hearst Aimee will find you...
11/3
2020
Slipped into a massive k hole, wandered away from the rave, and got lost within a deep dark forest this Halloween..… https://t.co/wjDK6gpKQvIs America ready for a “mild to wild” president?K1 visa just dropped! 💍 https://t.co/RXdThDI0kq
11/2
2020
Stunning !! https://t.co/hT49yrNZkxIf Biden loses, they’re going to have Maya Rudolph sing “Strange Fruit” on the SNL cold open.Need this https://t.co/I9q8EYKIVL @revpooch “Welcome to Bangkok”
10/29
2020
People who are both hot and smart are the most persecuted in our society.I’ve just got word that they’ve reached the maximum number of votes. We did it!! Everyone can now stop voting and r… https://t.co/qZCRd3ypl5
10/28
2020
@Fratty_Hearst @EthnicSteve This is the best version https://t.co/M4G0UFmxD3It’s happening https://t.co/oCQQutsR4O
10/27
2020
@aneschatologist @annakhachiyan Stealing lobotomy valor... @majortransceleb One of my favorite endings of any film https://t.co/ZRToKpENtf @nicefriend420 The plumage! https://t.co/mwTKaeDEWDLet’s reboot Jurassic Park with scientifically-accurate feathered dinosaurs. I’m ready to have that conversation.
10/26
2020
A genuinely arresting image...the staging, the color composition, the grainy quality of the spycam, the Skeletor ha… https://t.co/Rwe2DU9P6v
10/25
2020
The Joker would wear a VOTE mask. @GayCrossfit They should put Havoc on criterion channel @cumdrizzle Excited to watch🥰 https://t.co/vPoTgZsXkj
10/24
2020
@Evnww Darkstalker Kaathe slayedThe Amazon review pictures for the Lana mesh mask https://t.co/ryKkXT39ixThe least racist girl at the partySeeing them both passionately defend private health insurance makes me want to jump out a window.
10/23
2020
https://t.co/SGKBuLiz7p @rossleonardy https://t.co/y3OzcC52wD @rossleonardy @wordofcommand You could pull off Tom Cruise in Vanilla Sky https://t.co/FwU9VFSQNL @wordofcommand Ready for a cenobite moment https://t.co/TYn15GH5LgWhy is everyone horny for the Scream mask this year ?? @chlumbucket Kamala would pivot to poppers @aneschatologist To self-diddle is no crime! @chlumbucket Thought about this as well https://t.co/ksXVP3haiw
10/21
2020
I interviewed Sianne Ngai about Theory of the Gimmick for the New Books Network podcast. Listen here or on Apple Po… https://t.co/6WoYRh1oHi
Retweeted by RyanNormalize jerking off absent-mindedlyA crackhead son with a fake job is the only thing reassembling humanity in US politics right now.
10/20
2020
@Dofmau5 While also Scrooge McDuck
10/18
2020
I’d consume a thousand Welch’s grape fruit snacks before one pack of Gushers...I don’t think God is down with you e… https://t.co/b3B9Rf78vq @aneschatologist Might give away your lobotomy disguise tho
10/17
2020
@Fratty_Hearst “If you have a little telfar bag...you just might be a redneck”The vibe this Halloween https://t.co/HMsKtfkEGMFrenchy is Q https://t.co/IJrJl3j95pI believe that one of the Rock of Love girls came up with QAnon. No real evidence, just a very strong feeling.
10/16
2020
@Fratty_Hearst *post-left“Little St James” is too many characters so he can’t name his island that. I’ve tried.https://t.co/A8VTKvDl7KPeople who think that them not voting “will teach the Democrats a lesson” are just as stupid as the people voting for Biden.
10/15
2020
@GayCrossfit It’s stupidReally interesting! https://t.co/0SN0XDS01OMilla Jovovich has "flirtatious relationship" with Meowscular Chef in Monster Hunter movie
10/13
2020
The beatification of the first millennial saint https://t.co/F5u1Ox8AHC100 children in a fight to the death (Battle Royale, Hunger Games, Fortnite) is the defining fictional construct of the 2010’sAlone. 4 shot almond cappuccino.Justice Amy overturning Roe v. Wade https://t.co/w6ywprqJnUI mean...now is the time to marry a 90 year old. Big wedding, super spreader event 🤑
10/12
2020
@sambucklife Honestly, fair questionWhen I came out my mom sighed and asked “are you sure?”Heard a Charmin radio jingle that rhymed “tuchus” with “shooketh” ... low-key bop
10/11
2020

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