Sign in with Twitter


John Scalzi @scalzi Bradford, Ohio, USA

I enjoy pie.

510 Following   184,875 Followers   167,068 Tweets

Joined Twitter 3/23/08

Good night, Twitter. @jonrog1 Subscribe to my OnlyFans account, I'll tell you about it over there.No. My dreams are almost always nonsensical, and editors tend to prefer stories with plot. will say the dream ended with a celebratory conga line headed by beloved 90s comedian Sinbad. I am going to keep… @jfdalessio Everybody has that dream. @jonrog1 So you're saying that if I give you the idea, you'll write it, and then we'll split everything 50/50? @ryancarlmercer Here's the thing: I know how they work. @gregpak That's only at the streaming services. Regular studios have yet to upgrade.Had a dream last night that was very silly and doesn't bear repeating, but the IDEA behind it is a high-concept sen… @kevdog There's no cheesecake in Tootsie. There *is* cake. Also ice cream (chocolate chocolate chip). Also chocolat… Sale Erotic Wallpaper Never Used answer will get me another slice? personal diaries will be released to scholars 25 years after I die. In them, it will be discovered my secret cri… @schrodeski It's not! It's Spice.Sure. I'm 100% at peace with the idea I'm not everyone's cup of tea. If I am, great! If not, that's fine, too. I tr… @MichaelClear The cat is nude.I mean, I do have an OnlyFans account. The one picture there is of my cat. You only know how obnoxious I am *in public.*, I just came up from my basement, where I was playing drums...
@ZeroBudgetGeek Yup! @ParagonLinS I do appreciate it! @ZeroBudgetGeek If it's available for sale, yes. @ParagonLinS One, email is a thing, and two, inasmuch as I'm hosted by WordPress' VIP service, I always and automat… the afternoon crowd -, I appear to have missed the part where a lawyer for the president has called for the death of a former public… @legobutts ZOMG ADORBSNice! A very fine choice. @EstherHyphen I feel I'm learning a lot about you today.Apropos of nothing, one of the better life skills I picked up was the ability to be told I did something wrong/inco… @dwinx49r I mean, default cat expression @imafiguresk8r Thanks! No grief on this end, just someone pointing out why it was a problem and me deciding to fix… @charliejane I deleted the Tweet and retweeted with a link to his own post on Instagram. Thank you for pointing out… it is! (Note: previous post about this linked to an article with his deadname, which I did not ping on as p… @yoisthisracist listeners should know by now that @ANDREWTI and I left Earwolf to go independent. Thanks (you’re…
Retweeted by John ScalziThere is no one I would rather be soft-rocked by. Happy birthday, Jonathan! break. @tomtomorrow I think our 16th president put it best. @Kufat The next picture in the shooting sequence has, like, an eighth of my head in it, and that at an angle.On the subject of photography, I was pretty happy with the entirely accidental framing of this photo; I was trying…'s quoting me pretty precisely. This is why I will probably never be a professional photographer or working music… @innonatesdad @RebeccaBromels @AnneWheaton It looks like a fleshlight for a burrito.As multiple people are sending this to me asking me if I've seen it: Yes, I have, and it's a very interesting story… The Last Emperox shows up here, alongside so many other fantastic books and authors. 2020 may have been a… @LaurenMcWoof @CalFTB Ugh, that's the actual worst. @JoyceLeeH Don't worry about it, it'll be fine.(Traditionally published authors, you already have a post for your work: Crafters, musicia… AUTHORS: Today's your day to promote your work to tens of thousands of readers in the Whatev… @joe_hill @MerriamWebster Sure, but it was a different usage (as were previous iterations from the early 20th). @Jaquandor @CalFTB I'm not falling for that one, again @joe_hill I'm preeeeeety sure it was in use before then, although @MerriamWebster says that its first usage in this… @fusepark @CalFTB Yes, my accountant here in Ohio does the same for me. @ayeletw @CalFTB Oooof. Yes. Not fun. @jg70124 @CalFTB Yup. I have to do the same with foreign countries into which I sell work. This is why I have agent… @ayeletw @CalFTB Thank you, Ayelet! You're awesome for looking out for me. I'll be addressing it quickly, but if th… everyone else: Don't worry, I will actually respond in an approved and binding manner)Dear @CalFTB: While your persistent and dare I say plaintive hope that I live in the Golden State, and thus owe yo… @Predeceased @torbooks I'm very glad it worked out!One wonders if Biden is getting tired of so much winning.
@petersagal Oh, hey! Congratulations! This is wonderful. @JuliaAngwin Love it.Reposting for the afternoon crowd -- @IseultSidhe1 One's orange, and one gray.Cat break., not shoes, that's for sure. former president of @sfwa and a multiple Hugo Award winner, among many other accomplishments in a long and storie…'s not taxing to me -- I use it in part because it feels very natural to me -- but if I'm not careful I can get s… just wrote a shit-ton of dialogue and now I'm going to do something else for a few hours because I'm exhausted by…, folks, would you subscribe to my YouTube channel? I need 1000 subscribers in order to live stream from my ph…
Retweeted by John Scalzi @therunningbull We can wait until said Canadian wouldn't be infected by Americans.I just want Canadians to know that Tiger Tail ice cream makes a cameo appearance in the novel I'm currently writing., please post about your book over there, not here.) @ByTylerHayes Post there not here, please. @Jpullen19 (post it over on the site, not here --)Non-traditionally/indie published authors, don't worry, your spotlight day is tomorrow! And other creators (musicia… AUTHORS: Reach tens of thousands of readers today to tell them about your books, through… this endearing holiday classic.
@misscecil Yes, one for the "work with what you have" annals.Got a bunch of new photo filters today and am playing with them to see how I like them, which has occasioned this V… is the most depressing pie recipe I think I've ever heard of. @Radlein @UrsulaV LOOK WHO HAS FANCY EARS @_mamadeb @UrsulaV THANK YOU @feminaprovita WATCH ME ALWAYS @UrsulaV I heard "tittled feet," which I also knew was wrong, because as far as I knew, "tittled" wasn't a word, an… @Hal_Duncan They're riding the pine!Reminder to writers and creators: This begins tomorrow! tosses aside opera in progress, where a clown sells their soul, and it's a metaphor for the US involvement… break. @djfrankelee @petrahaden @BillFrisell Ooooh, Victoria Williams. @gaschen @petrahaden @BillFrisell Nah, they're overall pretty great, merely wrong in this instance. @TBranin @petrahaden @BillFrisell BAM! SECOND ENCORE! @Keffy "American Hands" is the name of my next band.A friend just opined that "Moon River" is a boring song and I was all WHAT CALUMNY SIR HOW DARE, especially when it… @halfbakedblake1 I mean @JoanofDarkKnits Such a rare occurrence, I knowSo sad to hear David Prowse has passed. He was a kind man & much more than Darth Vader. Actor-Husband-Father-Member…
Retweeted by John ScalziWHAT this evening we watched our first actual "holiday" movie: The Happiest Season, which was perfectly charming, a… this festive holiday classic.