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sometimes hinged, sometimes not

884 Following   668 Followers   1,796 Tweets

Joined Twitter 11/14/08


@Reuters ok but are his nipples piercedis this comedy or ? https://t.co/oYLG9moJ02wanna start doing yoga at home but terrified of discovering how deeply my body has regressed since the time when i was super into yogaTo anyone currently bingeing #tigerking on Netflix: I spent four years working on a podcast and a long magazine st… https://t.co/t1oPPR8H8P
Retweeted by Shane Barnes @judyberman I voted for Ron. I also stopped BCS after season 2. Sorry :( @yeahthereshewas It was just cheddar that I had, I also threw some tomatoes in there. I think if I thought more tha… https://t.co/fdqD9mvqcFjust made French toast... grilled cheese? My mind... @Helvetica71 You can always count on me for that!
4/1
2020
@jmartNYT @maggieNYT Sorry Jonathan, I don't care how important you think you are, how important you think the… https://t.co/srQkTcaLOY
Retweeted by Shane Barnes @yosoymichael if anything his having nipple piercings has canceled nipple piercings for mealso he talks about spaghetti dinners for 10 minutes and people love it? c*nthia 2022https://t.co/QNtEMumxVQdon't let his semi-coherent thoughts fool u https://t.co/Qg9BVCcKlIEven in a Pandemic, Andrew Cuomo Is Not Your Friend https://t.co/VyI2RCtn9I
Retweeted by Shane Barnes @TheWilderThings @ariellec thank you for reminding me of the expired walmart meat lovers pizza @evaandheriud congrats to you fettuccini, cute nickname @brittawolfrum *baby voice* who is my little high girl with the big big biceps? that's right! you are! @MilesKlee george jetson @BrandyLJensen chuckling like an idiot at this right now, i love me @BrandyLJensen they could at least say it with the canonical chicago accent "da bard"
3/31
2020
@toneburst83 We’re simple people in Ohio @yosoymichael 😱🥴🙌🏻Shame about Ben Napier’s buttPickle R*dskin https://t.co/W1svOD8WJr @yosoymichael You’re gonna have to fight a few dozen Brooklyn boys for that one I think @tylercoates @dawnweiners I thought the filmmakers went to read something and the new husband grabbed it from his h… https://t.co/wTmskYIqFnSo am I supposed to use reusable bags or is the clerk gonna freak out on me for handing over a virus vessel @BrandyLJensen @flglmn Are he and coffee still together or???The strike wave is in full swing! Whole Foods workers across the country are staging a mass "sick out" tomorrow — f… https://t.co/KZkKFTFXVU
Retweeted by Shane BarnesThis seems very, very bad. https://t.co/sM6H7NFVVL
Retweeted by Shane Barnes @tylercoates it's called being productive, tyler!! @alyakdriab :( so sorry Kayla! I hope he recovers OK!happy to be distracted this AM by the story of a would-be nazi who got fucked, but couldn't help but think that rig… https://t.co/0tzycReTAwThank you! This inspired us to do the math and donate the same percentage of our wealth. My husband @Nick_Ashdown a… https://t.co/HbGVFjusEF
Retweeted by Shane Barnes @UMO finally finished horizon zero dawn and the expansion, pretty impressed with the storytelling in that gameH.E.R. answers every call @judyberman :(
3/30
2020
@yosoymichael Love you sweetieGrumpy today sorry ☹️
Retweeted by Shane Barnes @yosoymichael Happy birthday u crazy boi @yosoymichael Also, do they not have a fabric budget? The amount of money in this show—NAOMI!?— is gratuitous
3/29
2020
@tylercoates that we have fallen so far in our ability to homemake that we are collectively coming over baking simple loaves of bread... 🥴 @delmoi yes but he talks in short declarative sentences and doesn't like Trump so he is the best in the entire worl… https://t.co/oxiF7w4ocy @tylercoates joe coulda been a millionaire providing these services to blogs 10 yrs agothat i went 31 yrs without hearing someone say "Captain Mudd"? i suppose i haven't lived @yosoymichael fair enough! appreciate your thoroughness and also your pics of The Artist Formerly Known As Mr. Anistonwatching a show with a character named Harry Mudd rn. wtftime to go through my neighbors' mail, find their names, and search to see if any of them have been tweeting bullshit about mebullying myself after 2 weeks away from service just to get byhello barista? my oat milk curdled in my coffee can i have a new cup you piece of shit @yosoymichael the fact that you haven't finished this show yet is proof that i made the right decision in giving up by ep 3This is beyond Trump’s power. Congress has delegated to the president broad powers over foreign immigration but not… https://t.co/YXMW6ZBzRa
Retweeted by Shane Barnesappropriate as my brother @Codykb1 wanted to bang Jessica Rabbit https://t.co/0L32cd6el9 https://t.co/Q7g1FbGEC8 @brittawolfrum like five thousand pages of pure poetry. also there is a person who is paralyzed and has multiple pe… https://t.co/QhSjfKVUgD @gayrodcon be the change you want to seewas just explaining the Dark Tower series to @brittawolfrum and realized how fucking dumb it is. ok so Stephen King… https://t.co/3aRMbhweMEtested positive for having giant near perfect tits
Retweeted by Shane Barnes @bejohnce love that they created a show engineered to stock amazon's shitty fashion sites!! @toneburst83 @foxesinfiction really? the hype made me think maybe this was the one that would click but maybe i can save my timeSuch an eloquent and maddening piece, filed from the hospital by a smart, kind editor I've had the pleasure of work… https://t.co/FX5Y3DV2ip
Retweeted by Shane Barnes
3/28
2020
@judyberman (says the person with the backyard) @judyberman "rooms" with "doors" wow ur privilege @judyberman i am not a child or a pet but i have crawled on the floor to avoid being on my bf's callsCan’t believe they’re trying to groom Cuomo for democratic nominee at the same time as he’s leaving thousands of bl… https://t.co/XpW7wMRMrB
Retweeted by Shane BarnesI love lesbians https://t.co/ICTSvOS7tM
Retweeted by Shane Barnes
3/27
2020
@joeyz95 I don’t understand why they are doing this😍😍😍 https://t.co/xXFQqniWN2
Retweeted by Shane BarnesI wrote about one way of passing the time at home while waiting to see what happens https://t.co/fyBDfI8djZ
Retweeted by Shane Barnes
3/26
2020
@sarahmseltzer Harrison Ford was also very good. I haven't seen much outside of his franchise work and his physicality is crazywatched WORKING GIRL last night. it was OK. sad that Tess's victory in the end was... earning a life on Wall Street? @judyberman I love Mitra!pro tip: if you own a business that has laid off almost every one of its hundreds of employees, and you have left N… https://t.co/9Ug49eow7J @ariellec @AndrewDettmer in my experience banana milk is an extreme disappointmentPersonally don't think there is gonna be a Baby Boom attributed to COVID-19 because we're all gay now
Retweeted by Shane Barneswho needs xanax when you can just listen to Conor Oberst say "west village"the new Bright Eyes... has cured my anxietyOh good. Getting the plague to own the libs. https://t.co/QYWHMQbiV9
Retweeted by Shane Barnes
3/25
2020
@brittawolfrum is now the time to start being thirsty on insta..... maybe...sadly my hair has never looked better @MiaFarrow @realDonaldTrump being alive in these hell timeshave really loved Mayor Pete's leadership in this time of crisis @GuyLodge 🥴good news: i'm about to start what is essentially a livejournal in 2020https://t.co/mNwxBdyfNX https://t.co/uVue6fCJY4
Retweeted by Shane Barnesmissing message boards rnNow we’re cooking with gas. This is at least the right ballpark needed to staunch the bleeding. https://t.co/EsNd4LSner
Retweeted by Shane Barnesall of the satire about pols and rich worshiping the dollar bill turned out to not be satirical at all wait maybe… https://t.co/LZebgUXlnfsad about this one. there was a time when a coworker and I were listening to One Track Mind almost every morning at… https://t.co/ayDn0LxPbi
3/24
2020
@toneburst83 Log off!!!! Start playing a bad game! Zone out! Protect your mental health!! @judyberman @clairevlo it opens up space for carbs later in the day @philipxanderson always craft that narrative bb @philipxanderson the music...tfw your boss calls you at 8 am on the first day of your unemployment https://t.co/6umlyfqYc7
3/23
2020
@yosoymichael really calling out ariana's spraytan herehttps://t.co/lYMzn4v67JTenants can’t pay rent if they can’t earn a living. Let’s #CancelRent for 90 days to keep people in their homes du… https://t.co/TMToBgEbew
Retweeted by Shane Barnes @yosoymichael we love to see niche tweets ("neets")the volkswagen commercials with kieran caulkin and paul giammati... is it supposed to be a billions/succession crossover? i hate it @tylercoates Hope someone pretends to have a vaccinehttps://t.co/mYs4adP64I fyi
3/21
2020

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