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Shaparak Khorsandi @ShappiKhorsandi london/Isle of Wight

Retweeting praise since 2009 Comic & Author. Nina is Not Ok https://t.co/W94mHaznMO. https://t.co/huNeLvSShy Agent: https://t.co/o9gf9k3A1k

2,116 Following   194,036 Followers   31,260 Tweets

Joined Twitter 5/29/09


@jami0mckay What a lovely chat they are having @serenceinwyn Yep...I thought I was having a heart attack until I realised what it was from others recounting the same. Let’s be strong x @eliistender10 Thank you sweet person @inghamjj55 Poor you. Sending love @Biltawulf Thank you x @KyneRichard Thank you :)Had a series of panic attacks in the last couple of days...normal, I think, considering the times we are in. My GP… https://t.co/SAmPWc2KNeHelp with an RT. @justinmoorhouse, @JasonManford, @JohnnyVegasReal, @kiripritchardmc, @DaveGorman, @JohnBishop100,… https://t.co/1TtC5cRsAZ
Retweeted by Shaparak Khorsandi @officialbarnesy This person has blocked me. Now I’ll never know what they said. Never. @squirrel_pigeon @cherriesdarling @mrscmway @themayhew Can’t believe that’s not illegal. @cherriesdarling @mrscmway @themayhew No children???????!?????? @speakygums @themayhew I hear you... but In this case the landlord should put down laminate floors and steam clean the sofaI get alerts from @themayhew ...just seen one 8 yr old dog up for adoption because landlord doesn’t allow pets. Man… https://t.co/SBpAY3xoiYSelling like hotcakes – The Little Book of Humanism is now on its fifth reprint in less than two months! Here's whe… https://t.co/3msGmEA1hT
Retweeted by Shaparak Khorsandi
10/19
2020
When you talk to people who aren’t on twitter about twitter you sound bonkers ‘...burning Harry Potter books...Jedw… https://t.co/cDuLyHGLlSAhahahaha!!! ❤️❤️ https://t.co/vF5rKAnlOx @EddieRobson ‘Four and twenty blackbirds baked in a pie’Lots of lols tonight at my 1st virtual comedy gig. Thanks to @ShappiKhorsandi @josierones @sindhuvfunnyhttps://t.co/Eaoc4SPVCX
Retweeted by Shaparak Khorsandi @kirstiealley It's vitally important to retweet and let everybody know about the time, in 2002, you were nice to someone.
10/18
2020
🎆Two hours until the #WEPConf2020 Comedy fundraiser night kicks off! Are you excited to watch our incredible line-… https://t.co/JLFHLWFMiL
Retweeted by Shaparak Khorsandi @fatjacko Cuuute! Got German Shepard markings! @nickdixoncomic Stay away from people who do that. Bad vibes. @nickdixoncomic Fucking hell! What part of twitter did you fall into????? @BrettMcMaster Too far for little legs fam @jamesgfarrell I do so I’ll never knowSo we are not allowed to lift share as normal to kids weekend sports clubs? We all go separately?
10/17
2020
@lulu_popplewell @steveallenshow Had you not heard his show before? @Grumbletwat Oh my! Mummy’s face in the first picture. My heart!My column on tea with the Queen, @frogandbucket and how forcing art and culture establishments to do Governments PR… https://t.co/Zr8WjByS3dDownload this bliss from my friend @SachaPuttnam https://t.co/wkPVhkRxYM @Philippa_Perry Yes. We had a huge chats about this during lockdown much needed acknowledgement of how he’s feeling… https://t.co/TVJv1Tey5rForget about me being gloomy earlier..I have a gig, a tour length show in Worthing. I need you. Please buy tickets… https://t.co/HYB9VUulSxDo people get their arms twisted up behind their backs any more? It used to happen a lot. @Sonic_Screwup Ahahahaha @emyrderfel The internet is already awash with people trying to sell expensive pups they bought in April/May. So sa… https://t.co/tKhBU2m7RiI am sad. One of the joys in my life was my mum regularly turning up at my house letting herself in and unloading… https://t.co/TkDEmLSbTnSo I’m due to get my German Shepherd pup in November...I’m worried if we go into lockdown, I won’t be able to socia… https://t.co/fHOgZMR61iGonna read all the Stephen’s recommends. I bet you’ll have already read mine! Comfort books...though you have to re… https://t.co/mqaGzQhhSd
10/16
2020
@bechillcomedian Beaut. We do that on our street WhatsApp. This one was my favourite the other day https://t.co/Lny6gxH9WxDaughter: ‘night night Humpty Dumpty Mummy!’ Me: *a LOOK* Daughter: ‘I’m not saying you’re fat mummy, I’m saying… https://t.co/kcXliq9z88 @CPHutchinson @BBCTheOneShow THIS IS BRILLIANT!!!!!!!! @amateuradam Oh well done Adam! @charlycropbish What a jokeSo this tier two...my daughter is in a bubble at school with her best friend, breathing on each other all day but w… https://t.co/rzkxF8qcyw @JaneyGodley Anti-vaxxer @Toan_Deaf I hope life gets better for you soon. You seem unhappy xMy 7yr old LOVES this. Best science book! She reads bits out to me...on people with ‘awful personalities’ making fu… https://t.co/ErOdUOCQvu @Toan_Deaf @RexChapman I think these sorts of replies are the punchline @Steen4401 @RexChapman Reading that tweet not thinking ‘she’s kidding’ lacks joy.I’m happy and intrigued to be a part of this. Writing a special one off thingy for that person or group who will se… https://t.co/iz54XYpSaO @dylansodergren @RexChapman Amazing that you took this seriously Dylan.
10/15
2020
People acting all ‘CANCELLED!’ because #Malala has a Tory friend (or is leader of the Tory party or whatever the st… https://t.co/zr6vrIz4hX @twesley06 @InKittenVeritas @RexChapman This is amazing @__Christine___ Ahaha! I’ve just seen some of the replies!I went to a wedding as someone’s ‘plus one’ once. I wore a full-length lacy white dress and a cute tiara. The fuss… https://t.co/eMQdAXzjdI @JoannaCannon How old is Lewis ? @emmagannon YES!!!!! I remove spiders with my bare hands because I’m so delighted my son asks for me! @BibiLynch Argh! What a poisonous person.It’s beautiful. I apologise to the cockapoo AND cottonbud community. https://t.co/QGeglmO1Ae @ccAndrewBaker Your dog is beautiful. Far more beautiful than any cotton bud I’ve ever seen. @LindsayFinlays1 Officially registered breed now apparentlyAll these hugely popular Cockapoos and other poodle-cross dogs are VERY cute...until their fur has to be trimmed. T… https://t.co/TPoKiwyE94I’m in dictionary corner this week with @susie_dent on @C4Countdown this week @KateRobbins So precious!
10/14
2020
My cat IS Halloween. https://t.co/i0A4pdyhP1 @iandstone I once went to Skipton, North Yorkshire for a gig a day early. Paid for a driver to take me too. He went… https://t.co/GFX8Y28agy @mikewilmot1 I genuinely didn’t realise that’s what these people were doing. @jomcnally Yuuuuuuupppppppppp. Only time I’ve had to deactivate Twitter was when I showed compassion to a cheating friend.I went to a neighbourhood friends home today for a coffee. Once again was in awe of the neat and tidiness of anothe… https://t.co/kSdK2c6LZY @hannahfearn YEAHHHHHHHHH! Congratulations! Xxx @flydnb @billybragg Not now loveI just booked presale Tix to see @billybragg next November. I very nearly bought tix to see him in Perth in January… https://t.co/M5mDo7oUM5Never ceases to amaze me how different my children are. My son sounds like Charles Dickens and my daughter sounds like Stormzy. @SoozUK @comedy_arcade Ha! Fuming I was FUUUMIN’! So lovely to see everyone x
10/13
2020
@gaynor_warlow @SJK2807 @mouthwaite Mine too! @SJK2807 @mouthwaite Priory Bay, Isle of Wight. Looks timeless to me https://t.co/qyfvgiNFxN @mouthwaite Isle of Wight...Airbnb somewhere lovely and enjoy the warmest part of the U.K. with gorgeous walks, pubs and lush beaches.The likes of Peter Kay, Jason Manford Sarah Millican...whichever huge star comic you love...didn’t pull it out of a… https://t.co/UwrIrqjUsKThe @frogandbucket isn’t just culturally significant to Manchester, it’s culturally significant to the whole countr… https://t.co/iuznsBsxVc
Retweeted by Shaparak KhorsandiI have gigged many times at the @frogandbucket. It was integral to my early stand-up years. To say it is ‘culturall… https://t.co/71mqNprvtm
Retweeted by Shaparak KhorsandiCAN you be over 45 and take a selfie that doesn’t look like you just punched yourself in the face? @Saldan460398324 FairI’ve lost hundreds of followers today. I’m hoping it’s because they had a sweep of bot accounts and not because peo… https://t.co/8yMadXJc4SThe cringe meeting for this...I can hear them with the ad execs ‘Ya guys, we need an INCLUSIVE name...not Layla, th… https://t.co/yaTVMUD7CB
10/12
2020
Nothing quite like Lil’Puss jumping on you out of nowhere while you’re watching Stranger Things. https://t.co/JzbleiQAw3Such a beautiful episode. I’m one of your ‘playground babies’ who also had adults shouting mean things to me in the… https://t.co/pbuLuVfQV1I need a face mask that’s the same colour as my foundation. @Nabilu That’s the spirit! I didn’t get in top 3 of bbc new act of the year final in 2000 and i sulked for seven ye… https://t.co/wjMLOQgu1a @BiddyDolly @BGT @Nabilu Which bit? Which exactly bit would a white comic get it n trouble for? Can you quote it?
10/11
2020
Ah! I wish he was around when we did Jongleurs Portsmouth back in the day. That would have been a disco to stick ar… https://t.co/dttN5r0fxREvening https://t.co/IpEYJN1EMLGod I want to be at a party.I'm glad they're persisting with shutting pubs and restaurants at 10, as it makes no difference but looks as if som… https://t.co/Btvf14rqKS
Retweeted by Shaparak Khorsandi @quantick I ‘think’, I mean. No wonder ‘sub editor’ didn’t come up for me @vfbr2001 @GraysonLarry @Schafernaker Ha! I practically live in there @quantick I don’t think people think the jobs are impractical, not demeaning. I can’t be a soldier now. I simply can’t.
10/10
2020
My column...if you don’t read it it’ll mean I cut the dog’s walk short for nothing. https://t.co/lodW4FWNg4Ha! https://t.co/tXuRAKs3wA @Adam_Pearson A baby bear @pricetom @divinecomedyhq @AlexisDubus Add me!
10/9
2020

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