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Joined Twitter 1/5/10

This is great @Lukeribs @theJeremyVine I’m on itI have decided as of Monday to change my Twitter handle to @hilariousmillionairecomedygenius In case you need to tweet me. @DawnHFoster Back to Saturday Superstore isn’t it? “What’s your favourite colour?” “Which pop star do you have a cr… room next door - Prince Andrew SHORT VERSION
Retweeted by Shaun Keaveny
This weekend has been amazing. Almost 30,000 of you registered over the weekend, including 20,000 in one day - a…
Retweeted by Shaun Keaveny @MikeBond64 you'll miss me when i'm gone @SpillerOfTea It looks like a lovely fascinator. Is he off to a wedding?Enjoying @ChrisHawkinsUK on @BBCRadio4 on Very Loud Science
@PaulKeaveny HAPPY BIRTHDAY FOR TOMORROW OUR KID (Is that what it's come to....a happy birthday on a social media forum?) @PaulKeaveny That is, and isn't, a load of bollocks isn't it? Or is it? #MMMMJAFFACAKESSomebody call Alanis..Marie should just do an online store that specialises in skips: like it. I don’t get it, but I like it: drops dead in Job Centre queue after being declared fit to work
Retweeted by Shaun Keaveny @almurray “Got it today, what a day, thanks a million!” Where do I collect?I think people who drink desert wine are MAD cos alcohol is so dehydrating. @matteveritt @GlastoFest Been out the game too long @matteveritt @GlastoFest Doesn’t matter how long we spend apart, we end up making the same shit gags.AMAZING!! You’re playing the philemmachuck festival????????? treasure. Up there with the Matt Baker “how do you sleep at night?” question to Cameron: @devlin_jp I’ll be honest I thought trousers were leg t shirts till I saw those kittens - I’ll sell you two from th…
Amazing to see @billybragg at @Leadmill last night. Would be good to pick up the conversation about how musicians c…
Retweeted by Shaun Keaveny1st December #ChristmasWithoutTears @HyattChurchill with @theharryshearer @judithowen @HarryEnfield6 @GrumpyOldRick
Retweeted by Shaun Keaveny @devlin_jp Dough balls #nosweating
😱😱😱😱😱😱😱“How would you break in to the most heavily guarded country on earth?” The extraordinary true story of a man who d…
Retweeted by Shaun Keaveny @mrjamesob I’ve been stuck with 15 grand’s worth of Sarah Ferguson’s since 2001
@richardosman ? @dawnshaped CATCH YERSELF AWN LIZ!!😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂one of the great joys of this paternity leave was watching 1994 eps of Corrie on Quest TV a… up to while you’re in the process of fucking off for all time. Thank you.
Retweeted by Shaun Keaveny @TobyonTV I must admit I love the way he attacks the word “CAFE-TEE-ERE!!” @TobyonTV This alone should make him unelectable. Hot caffeinated drinks are not permissible at a barbecue where on… @browniemaker69 What WhatsApp? I am paranoid.👀 up and get old enough to be in my band ffs! Or can I please join yours? Legend
Retweeted by Shaun Keaveny @lucymadge @r_byrne @MasterChefUK Oh god I’m so gullible! Apparently they’ve taken the word out of the dictionary etc @r_byrne @MasterChefUK This is almost as exciting as the baby! @gregjmchugh Tell me more about the jacket Greg I like the cut of your jibIn sports news, a golfer has had his balls interfered with on a green for the first time since Tiger Woods back in… nephew Finley has blood cancer: and you can help him and other people like him. @DKMS_uk
Retweeted by Shaun Keaveny @r_byrne @MasterChefUK’re on MASTERCHEF?????
Just sad that my trainers are now not as clean as this @SELFESTEEM___ I’m still desperately trying to bang out a saccharine piece of sub-Sheeran bullshit on the piano tha… @SELFESTEEM___ Climb out of the barhroom window and run for your life @BBCRadio4 He thinks I’m a prickHey everyone. Get to it, no reason why not: @DKMS_uk need you to register as a donor to help fight blood cancer. Pl…
Retweeted by Shaun Keaveny😂😂😂😂😂’m beginning to think the only way we could get rid of Trump would be a secret tape in which he says he “don’t lik… Impeachment ABC: Impeachment CNN: Impeachment FOX:
Retweeted by Shaun KeavenyTrump hasn’t time to: watch the impeachment trial. Has time to: golf weekly at Mar-a-Lago / tease his hair into a c… @jetfury Because you’re a beautiful young woman looking for financial security?😂😂😂😂 @higginsmark I prefer the Fromonday session when Ada does the balls
@IsabelHardman @EmmaKennedy Yes, and in a bit a huge elephant trailed by John Noakes is going to piss all over the studio floorMy New Jam is (Im)Peaches by Presidents of the United States Of America. I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE THE POLICE GUY PUT HIS… your ears around the @GeorgeThePoet podcast on @BBCSounds its brilliant stuffThe contempt these idiots hold us in is almost hilarious. “I’ve got my..(SUSTAINABLE) coffee cup with I get… @cat_willis I’ve got Male 2 written all over meA man who can’t get a Thai curry past the bobby at 10 Downing Street is asking us to trust him to solve the Irish b…
@Baddiel Someone’s going to slip their tackle in the box in a minute @ith72 @richardosman @rachelparris @thatjanravens @Jay_n_Co The camera adds ten pounds but, in the words of Chandler, how many cameras??! @shaunwkeaveny It's also nearly Christmas. Time to get the drinks in.
Retweeted by Shaun KeavenyTOTALLY BRILLIANT:
@Stuart_of_skelf @mark_jetson2005 @theJeremyVine Pontius Pilates @folkyvale Thank you for noticing that. Pure @RealBobMortimer thatOne of my favourite Beatles songs that is incidentally about when John Lennon got a bike puncture repaired, PSI Love youOh yes. I’m on the telly all this week on @richardosman House of Games on BBC 2 at 6, with @rachelparris @thatjanravens and @Jay_n_Co 👀World gone mad 447: Roman Catholics on @theJeremyVine saying it’s about time Christians fought back against the tyr…’s most disingenuous phrases number 33: “your call is important to us”. #mostdisingenuousphrasesWorld gone mad. Hearing Nick Robinson badgering Emily Thornberry, “WOULD Jeremy Corbyn use nuclear weapons?!” Come… @JREdlinBenwell @HEYDUGGEE I’m not coming back
1st December @HyattChurchill #ChristmasWithoutTears with @theharryshearer @judithowen @GrumpyOldRick @shaunwkeaveny
Retweeted by Shaun KeavenyCouple of new insults for you, “pisswand” and “dog’s lipstick”. I’ll try and squeeze a couple more out later.Why has no-one knocked the single use coffee cup out of his hand? THINK OF THE OPTICS!!’s as reassuring as a lean-to in typhoon, this lad: Piss Hancock. tweet @maryannehobbs @jehnbeth @SwingTing @BBC6Music Gorgeous!Good tour van convo: -“your closest Derek?” (Talk about the person named Derek you are closest to in life -“dad c…
Retweeted by Shaun Keaveny11000 scientists signed a declaration of climate emergency. Its great that it gets media attention. But it's not li…
Retweeted by Shaun Keaveny😂😂😂😂 it’s like an ad for Preparation H:
Sounds so good! @gregjmchugh 😂😂😂😂 @MrDanielPrior And to you! Tired dad hangout necessary soonparty-political on yo-ass but I do want to reiterate how massively precious the NHS is to us all (i know you know t… Queen Charlotte Hospital Hammersmith. It genuinely makes us emotional to think back to the kindness, expertise,… Day 8 of Pat Leave and day 6 with our gorgeous new bundle. Thanks for your messages of loveliness. I wouldn'… mean it was actually in Solihull but hey these are mere details.
Retweeted by Shaun Keaveny
This looks hugely awesome: @higginsmark It’s being prorogued in the next parliamentLoved that hour. Especially Steve “Gadd” Lamacq at the end!!!! Cleverley...I’m sorry it still gets me...If you are a @foofighters fan and want to listen to @steve_lamacq talking drums with #TaylorHawkins then tune into…
Retweeted by Shaun Keaveny @MrMichaelSpicer @JamesCleverly I can’t wait for this one @alburnard My mate fell into a huge vat of fusilli at an Italian food factory. He died of INPASTA SYNDROME. I have had 2 hours sleep.Is that the “disillusion” of parliament?
The #tunnel29 podcast on @BBCSounds is superb. End lesson: wherever there’s a wall, people will try to get over it,…
@oscjerome @BBC6Music @tom_ravenscroft Please expect a long and heartfelt tribute to the NHS in the near future but…