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They call me the hunter. That's my name.

477 Following   24,903 Followers   676 Tweets

Joined Twitter 10/29/10


@Theirenewhite This is the best thing.
4/3
2020
You would think my room would be clean by now.Hehehehehe... ugh https://t.co/Q8mrH6v3wd
3/31
2020
Hillbilly. Tiger shit. Done got me.
3/27
2020
@ChaleyRose Me too! Everything else is a shitshow tho
3/24
2020
My “fat pants” are now just my “pants.”THE HELL DO YOU MEAN IT’S STILL GODDAMN MARCH??Oh good more rain.
3/23
2020
@michaelaWat Yes to this whole family!!! Their folks done did so good!
3/22
2020
My roommates and I just got into a huge fight about which of us would be the one to bring coronavirus into this hou… https://t.co/V8uc54sM4eWow. Facebook might actually become a thing again.I just saw Shahs of Sunset on my dvr and audibly sighed “oh thank Jesus Christ.“ You just take that info and make your own conclusions.Oh yeah also people are dying and stuffGonna LIVE TWEET the sneak-peek of this season’s Mama June From Not to Hot: Family Crisis in 5-4-3-2-nope never mind drank too muchI think we can all agree that when all of this is over and we ultimately emerge as a thoughtful, kinder, more unifi… https://t.co/qpQbwhEgrw
3/21
2020
Ok fine. I guess now’s when I’ve caught up with Succession.
3/17
2020
@juliedove No lie. That really is what it took.Ok fine. I guess now’s when I start watching Succession.
3/15
2020
When do I get to vote for Katie Porter for president? @rikilindhome You know- just go to a super crowded place and buy a new one. Easy-peasy corona- sneezy.
3/14
2020
Can’t wait to get home and take an alcohol bath and touch the crap out of my face.Why the hell is Lysol wasting money on advertising right now? https://t.co/W3XQzBgU2x
3/13
2020
@lukajones I’m ok at it @lukajones Well buck up buddy.
2/23
2020
I’ll prolly become one a those barflies who yells “name it!” to anyone in earshot about every pre-1995 song comes o… https://t.co/9XqDBqmt98 @CherylHines @kevin_nealon Ohh. Ok I see. Still miss you lots. Xoxoxo
2/22
2020
Well @museumofscience, you’ve got some cool parts, but this ain’t one of them. 75c/$1 for a feminine product—quart… https://t.co/PWpEReSxRs
2/12
2019
@CherylHines Oh Cheryl, I’m so so sorry. I would say it’s a tragedy, but that’s such an understatement. Sending you… https://t.co/8RU7H7hNR8
8/7
2019
Ok, it’s been a minute since I’ve been back in Houston, but man, @iah, when did you get so sexy??? LAX could learn a thing or ten.
7/31
2019
Hey yalls! Ever dreamed of being an extra on It’s Always Sunny AND being a good person in the process? Donate to… https://t.co/3wi3AWP6p6
6/20
2019
I just realized that I can shop for myself at Kids Foot Locker. I am now living a different life.
2/2
2019
Yall. This baby child is amazing and talented and come on why not donate and help the world see that?? Also, hi yal… https://t.co/f3FkZnpruk
1/13
2018
@chrischoughton @DisneyChannel Woa!! That’s so cool!
11/3
2018
Awesome Mr. Bhabies. Sounds like you have a job and no aversion to overspending. You single? https://t.co/EaRunMyJOqAm I allowed to go to a World Series game alone? Or is that too sad? None of my friends wanna pony up the ticket p… https://t.co/BF17SrDaDK
10/25
2018
Politics, politics, politics. Now tell me I’m pretty https://t.co/JOSvHEIVY8
10/24
2018
What if I became one of those people that carried an albino python around everywhere? Or is that a life path you ha… https://t.co/Kfy4YjLEbY
10/2
2018
You know how adults are just obvious versions of the broken child inside them and easy for you to see and figure ou… https://t.co/5yKI8YIz58 @laurenmiller229 Gimmie
9/17
2018
I had Baked Alaska for the first time in my life tonight. That shit was gross. A real let down of my childhood expe… https://t.co/SZJ1fIu2II
8/5
2018
Was about to check the yahoo homepage, but decided i don’t want to have to be subjected to the obligatory headlines… https://t.co/WJYoeQD7BX
7/1
2018
You can only joking exclaim “Yass Queen” so many times before you’re not joking anymore. Sarry Queen.
4/4
2018
Oh man, I wish I was the kind of classy where seeing “cheese plate” on a dessert menu was an actual option. But I’… https://t.co/vCOjYBsbin
3/31
2018
I may be unable to sleep right now due to illness. And I may have just bought a flamethrower.… https://t.co/jpDsx17gO5
1/31
2018
Ayiyi https://t.co/VCDjOD9xSb
1/29
2018
In less than 2 hours- @meellisday and I have Complete Control on @siriusxmu! It's a GD dream come true. We'll play… https://t.co/0wKNUyiSaj
1/25
2018
Oh this story did make me cry. Would it be weird to send this judge a fruit basket or some other token of my admir… https://t.co/sjKiVNEm3fDear @thepatjanssen, You’re welcome. https://t.co/IjyVOp39jzIn case you were wondering where you could get some... https://t.co/meBxJw2nDa
1/24
2018
Wow! This is great! Thanks @kennedytarrell! @meellisday #mothermayidancewithmaryjanesfist #mmidwmjf #adultswimhttps://t.co/PPD2vbF2seRebroadcast tonight! “Mother, May I Dance With Mary Jane’s Fist?: A Lifetone Original Movie for @adultswim ” on you… https://t.co/UAySSHtkk5
1/14
2018
IT’S THE DAY OF THE SHOW YALL. Mother May I Dance With Mary Jane's Fist?: A Lifetone Original Movie for @adultswimhttps://t.co/fwFehfGbRxReally though, what the hell good is it to save a draft on Twitter? Where do you ever find that shit again? Boo to that man. Boo. To. That.
1/7
2018
We’re AMAing @reddit in less than an hour!! Come play!! @meellisday #mothermayidancewithmaryjanesfist #lifetonehttps://t.co/KEU5mHcb3f
1/5
2018
Super-badass/Goddess-on-earth @therealzoebell working her fight magic with @meellisday and me for our special “Mot… https://t.co/GSDiHKdMnVY’all know @reddit? Well AMA kids! Join @meellisday and me Friday Jan 5th at 12 noon PST. We’re gonna talk about l… https://t.co/CKsTzocWQiHa! I didn't realize how engaged everyone would get. Boo to me. I fell asleep for the entire flight and never said… https://t.co/TMFY2q7J9SARE YOU READY FOR SOME not FOOTBALL?! Mother May I Dance With Mary Jane's Fist?: A Lifetone Original Movie for… https://t.co/Pu24QQy1EjOh it’s finally happening y’all. “Mother, May I Dance With Mary Jane’s Fist?: A Lifetone… https://t.co/GgcfmFg521
1/4
2018
On a flight back to LA and sitting next to Persians. Considering confessing to them that I know Farsi and to please… https://t.co/7bcwhvM1Oz
1/2
2017
Yay y’all! It’s. About. To go. Down. https://t.co/YbxWsIdQtx
12/23
2017
Earlier I was going to post a real political tweet and I meant it. But then I got distracted. Also, I know - you… https://t.co/SmC2w93aoJ
12/18
2017
Just making sure— the person who invented packing peanuts is definitely going to hell right?
11/20
2017
Little bits of awesome to help get through otherwise shitty times: https://t.co/ij47wcP6Wd
10/18
2017
We need to talk about Puerto Rico https://t.co/IXxdN7lDWd
Retweeted by Artemis Pebdani
9/25
2017
Houston you are in my heart. Harvey Relief Fund https://t.co/grZFfpw5Zm https://t.co/CHOdfGhx73 Americares https://t.co/SpHBm3IRPr
8/29
2017
No one gets to be a Nazi and a proud American. We fought a war about it. The world was involved.
Retweeted by Artemis Pebdani
8/14
2017
I am the winner of the birthdays. $54 US, and 15 Euros to boot. #rollinginit Double triple… https://t.co/wQJ3PCVEuS
8/3
2017
What in the good goddamn?? EVERY DAY we're taking a deliberate step backwards. https://t.co/XLhpp9OY3I
7/2
2017
@shayfromonline You're cool too. Tell Blake he'd be real cute if he just shut up.For someone that can't fly and isn't a concert pianist, I own a surprising number of capes.
6/23
2017
@merosskimball Yeah @merosskimball, but where did they end up??
5/31
2017
Just made my first s'mores and was indoctrinated into white lyfe!!! https://t.co/WOfgjNYult
5/28
2017
My second favorite thing ever. Also we're all gonna die. https://t.co/9jjVbGdrQdDear y'all. I have a drink named after me at @messhallkitchen and now I know that I've finally made it. https://t.co/UPycuq1Os4
4/7
2017
This is my favorite. Ever. https://t.co/RyjosxbPzL
4/5
2017
Sorry girl. @merosskimball you've got to gain like 7 pounds of head weight. I mean, if you think you're up to it...… https://t.co/hVfKLTmUF8
4/1
2017
Decades of training have finally led me to this role: dog w/pierced nipple. Dogs in a Park https://t.co/2xjKiBMhM0 @WatchableNow @cartunatv
3/21
2017
Happy Iranian New Year yalls! Kililililililililiiiiii!!!
3/20
2017
I just google image searched "Olan Mills" and lost an hour of my life to scrolling. But in a good way.
3/15
2017
Breathe it out. https://t.co/DfzgPYckWd
1/29
2017
Remember when when Elvis shot out his TV? I get it now.Man he's laying out some really good points, maybe we should wait and see how this works out. Haha just kidding we're fucked.Winter is here.
1/20
2016
I admit it, I cried. Cheers to the Water Protectors! Dakota protesters WIN bid to stop Standing Rock pipeline https://t.co/Q8xmUtVXdM
12/5
2016
It's that time of existence y'all. Give this Thanksgiving and help Water Protecters protect themselves! #NoDAPL https://t.co/bAQQaAnZ5s
11/24
2016
Boo to me-I got live shows Sunday nites. But I watch Zorn as soon as I get home and regret all the possible cyber f… https://t.co/mrUI0bTAGa
11/14
2016
Xanax. Tonight. And every night for the next four years. And yeah mobilize and fight and all that. And Xanax.2016, man. What a year of unfathomable suck.Ok. Yes. See. That's good. Yes. Great. Ok. Ouch my heart still hurts. @pattonoswalt thanks for the good news. Breat… https://t.co/EjgSavX1iI
11/9
2016
Oh, this got me y'all. https://t.co/QUHMguZgl0
11/8
2016
Just tried to explain the plot of Footloose to a 14 year old. Try it! It's a fun game.
10/13
2016
I know I'm supposed to be ashamed to admit this, but I changed my waze voice to Madea and it's makes me laugh. Ok I'm over it. Shhhh Madea.
10/4
2016
YALLS! Are you registered to VOTE?REGISTER HERE https://t.co/7V121DQZD7 with @HeadCountOrg #VoterRegistrationDay !! https://t.co/TYwM5usO6Y
9/27
2016
I know I'm not supposed to"break the 4th wall" but look at these bosses acting to nothing like mfing bosses! #SonOfZorn @CherylHines @FOXTVYes you do. And also introduce her to your hot single cartoon friends. With jobs. @SonOfZorn @FOXTV @CherylHines https://t.co/doy6nmByLuWeird how hot Zorn is, right? No? Single and it's getting weird? Ok. #SonOfZorn @FOXTV
9/26
2016
Apparently 1988 left me a gift on my doorstep! Who has a working Betamax player?? https://t.co/OumdmsXckT
9/22
2016
Watch me and a couple other funnies tell jokes on @midnight tonight y'all!! https://t.co/IvyaEbjpX4
9/21
2016
Thanks for watching the preview yalls! Can't wait to see the premiere- yup 2 different things-on Sept 25! Twit yall then! #SonOfZorn @FOXTV
9/12
2016

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