Sign in with Twitter


Former sage. Best years far behind him. Owner of the legendary Felix the Dog. Lives in Paris. Creative writing MA. Poetry, prose. Aka David Hayward.

2,935 Following   24,107 Followers   17,174 Tweets

Joined Twitter 10/2/16

@Sime0nStylites The Arts.
Retweeted by The Columnist @Sime0nStylites Wales
Retweeted by The ColumnistOh my giddy auntYou have missed the @UKHouseofLords out. We've just delivered a massive defeat to him on Internal Markets Bill. He…
Retweeted by The Columnist @LordPhilofBrum @UKHouseofLords Lord Phil, I can’t keep up. @Sime0nStylites You forgot the bishops!
Retweeted by The ColumnistMy god it’s a SNARK TSUNAMI @Sime0nStylites Young people?
Retweeted by The Columnist @HeleneBismarck 🤔The replies to this... GUYS I SAID NOT EXHAUSTIVE @george_yarrow George, It’s not going well.And ‘Kent’ @HeleneBismarck My god the replies to thisHahahahaha I forgot Scotland, Wales, Northern IrelandThings the Govt Doesn’t Like (nb not exhaustive) - The EU - Remainers - Journalists (exceptions may apply) - Lawy…’m going to have to update my update!! @SpinningHugo @Birdyword @anonmugwump It’s head shakingly baffling.UK STATUS UPDATE Covid - disaster Brexit - disaster Leveling Up - disaster The Union - disaster this rate England’s going to be a series of small enclaves in Essex. @Mattybn3 @estwebber Also isn’t he now Mayor of England? @Mattybn3 @estwebber ‘Clear eyes full heart CAN’T LOSE’ Oh. @Mattybn3 @estwebber I wish. @burtonad Desperate for a political win. @DavidHenigUK Erm, completely brazen?I imagine some poor junior henchperson has to watch the FX markets in the hope, the HOPE that £ will sell off to de… this regional lockdown strategy is going splendidly well. It’s like a national lockdown except there are loads… @DavidHenigUK No doubt that Frosty has got them into a right mess.To be fair to Team Great Britain they will (and should per this strategy) wait until the last minute before le climb down.Presumably Downing Street is fuming that no one is taking the no deal threat seriously. Hence, more flounce. @katebevan @Frances_Coppola @DaphneFlap AwwwwwwwwThis sounds exactly right. @DavidHenigUK It really does. I forecast a climb down over the weekend. Probably via M Macron.This would obviously be completely bonkers. And yet. @ChrisGiles_ That’s a bloody good graph. @marxculture The very best twitter @marxculture So exciting @marxculture @paul_clarke @katebevan This is amazingAll of this blaming Sage stuff is largely displacement activity.Such a poor take. The whole point of Sage is to advise on public health issues. The whole point of the government (… @thhamilton This is why I don’t speak physics @samatlounge Emergency Felix Birthday Photo @mrjamesob Something something light something bushels something @AlexChambers Self evidently mispriced something something taxpayers something @AnnaJerzewska They sound great. Congrats.I know how these tweets sound... But I'm actually really honoured to be appointed the International Trade Adviser…
Retweeted by The Columnist @AlexChambers Bargain. @tomescritt @Metatone2 @JXB101 I’m too grumpy to be a data guyIn demise of the EU news... @AlexChambers What’s the pricing etc? @AlexChambers Blimey. @BergAslak @CifrLXXXVI @BrunoBrussels @hhesterm @SamuelMarcLowe Agreed. @drjennings @sophgaston @pmdfoster @KuperSimon @UKandEU Prawn cocktail favoured sawdust. @drjennings @sophgaston @pmdfoster @KuperSimon @UKandEU But if you could, what would it taste of? @gordonguthrie @twlldun @IanDunt My grandmother told me never to trust anyone with a beard. And she was right. *Strokes beard* @drjennings @sophgaston @pmdfoster @KuperSimon @UKandEU You can’t eat Brexit, Will. @BrunoBrussels @hhesterm @SamuelMarcLowe Sure but they’re a part of life. @BergAslak @BrunoBrussels @hhesterm @SamuelMarcLowe The similarity (yes yes different I know but) the pandemic in F… @BrunoBrussels @hhesterm @SamuelMarcLowe Hegemons are gonna hegemon, part of the point of being a hegemon, but bein… @cjayanetti @IanDunt ‘Emily in Paris is great’ @SpacemanDan13 Awwwwwww he sends dog hugs @BrunoBrussels @hhesterm @SamuelMarcLowe (I should say that my opinion is rather conditioned by my view that the UK… @BrunoBrussels @hhesterm @SamuelMarcLowe Ironically, lurking around is a huge win for everyone (closer, more flexib… @BrunoBrussels @hhesterm @SamuelMarcLowe I think a decent view is that current status (Canada or whatever) is just… @BrunoBrussels @hhesterm @SamuelMarcLowe Well that’s obviously as unhelpful as the other way round. @hhesterm @SamuelMarcLowe @BrunoBrussels What is the answer? The UK is both part of and not part of Europe. But you… @hhesterm @SamuelMarcLowe @BrunoBrussels Sorry - non linear not non liberal. Equally, it is now fashionable to emph… @hhesterm @SamuelMarcLowe @BrunoBrussels The Munchau view is...well...a view. But it’s very linear. And we live in… @DuncanWeldon @Life_Disrupted It was an existential wait what @DuncanWeldon @Life_Disrupted Wait what @Mij_Europe My speculation is that one of the issues to contend with is that Frost is both the negotiator and a principal. @Mij_Europe And for Frost to shift his own position?Look at the size of that sniffer. @george_yarrow Awwwwww. He says thanks. @RobDotHutton Sorry. More, in the sense of more self parodic vs more gags. @CifrLXXXVI One of his nicknames is the FaceBut he soon began to grow up - what a little heart breaker. first name was 3 Spot always a very wise dog leetlest dog anyone like baby Felix photos?I like this. WORLD STATISTICS DAY EVERYONE! World Statistics Day only comes every five years - like the Olympics - so it'…
Retweeted by The Columnist @RobDotHutton I’m curious. Do you think he’s got more like this. Yesterday’s performance seemed even by his standar… @Frances_Coppola @DaphneFlap @katebevan Extending the law of friendship in a time of great stress when cats and dog… @Frances_Coppola He’s expecting a gift from @DaphneFlap on behalf of cats cc @katebevan @ianbetteridge Like his dad 😉 @colinelves @Frances_Coppola It’s all deflection versus the main issue which is everyone doing the necessary hard yards.Someone I know is seven years old today. @Frances_Coppola @colinelves I might add that among the yawning flaws of the shielding wheeze is not considering wh…
Narrator: Nope Advice to Govt You have to do the work You have to do the work You have to do the work You have to do the wo… sense? @SMTuffy How’s it going out there?Today was too early for @BorisJohnson to approve resumption of talks. He needs to show voters he's being tough with…
Retweeted by The Columnist @FabianZuleeg @simontaylor71 @SkyNews Fabian is very consistent! But it is an entirely valid view with which I happen to disagree. @MRJKilcoyne Waste of your time. Go pay for your own lockdown = go and be independent. @CifrLXXXVI @dogpatchryan @HeleneBismarck @Mij_Europe I wonder if we’ll see the no deal costing a document mentioned in the Ranwnsley piece. @MRJKilcoyne Oh it’s this guy @dogpatchryan @HeleneBismarck @Mij_Europe I suspect that’s true. I also rather suspect we’ll see some moves by the… @HeleneBismarck @Mij_Europe This is where I am. Let’s hope at least some lemonade is made from these very sour lemons.