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Jew(ish). Stuff to numberswhore@gmail.com. Represented by @eversobookish at @KCAgents.

313 Following   146,209 Followers   676 Tweets

Joined Twitter 9/16/18


If an artist's work is truly a reflection of the world the way it is or a fear of what it could become, no one doesโ€ฆ https://t.co/QiAsa2KFuY
7/3
2020
Two things. What a fucking shit show 2020 is so far. I hope that you are safe and well. Secondly, thank you so mucโ€ฆ https://t.co/hVWlxc7G9k"madam, please, i'm doing everything i can" ๐Ÿ“ธ: Paul Langley https://t.co/q61BhilMzf"it's not my fucking job" ๐Ÿ“ธ: Imgur user IHaveNoIdeaAnymore https://t.co/sFQs8i3KLR
7/2
2020
That time they all pretended not to notice that Roger was wearing a wig. ๐Ÿ“น: https://t.co/p73AZlXlzL https://t.co/p4e3iXSSlF
7/1
2020
You'll probably say this shouldn't bother me but I live on the third floor. ๐Ÿ“ธ: Imgur user Elbatcho https://t.co/SlrJfGeg8S
6/27
2020
"Ye kin cut yer ain fuckin' grass" ๐Ÿ“ธ: Imgur user sirbinlid11 https://t.co/Xzn1q5S4MX
6/20
2020
"what cat? i'm some shoes" ๐Ÿ“ธ: Reddit user DiliChawg https://t.co/lO3EQNbUv6
6/19
2020
"it was like this when I came in" ๐Ÿ“น: Imgur user anlyin https://t.co/TM2t0WnoX0
1/27
2020
"i must go, my people need me. wait, is my hat on straight?" ๐Ÿ“น: Imgur user logiepants https://t.co/P2rGZBD4UF
1/26
2020
@withchillies "what? show me where it says i have to jump over"
1/25
2020
I can confirm that no animals were harmed during the making of this video. The bear on the other hand, will never be the same again.Sex so good you forget you're in IKEA. ๐Ÿ“น: Reddit user b0rsht https://t.co/GA1tqmRcyv
1/23
2020
"easy. fucking lightweight" ๐Ÿ“น: Imgur user greatives https://t.co/MGLOdYEqKT
1/22
2020
"I FORGOT MY KEYS, SANDRA" ๐Ÿ“น: https://t.co/oyGvRFkLla https://t.co/C1oALRXRWY
1/20
2020
@withchillies "I SAID LEAVE IT, GRAHAM"
1/19
2020
Fucking lazy bastard. ๐Ÿ“น: Gfycat https://t.co/OVkQFxM7PV
1/18
2020
"i'm sure you're all wondering why I've gathered you here today" https://t.co/nPHUXPJk0S
1/17
2020
@withchillies It's sexy time ๐Ÿ”Š https://t.co/fGtJrCNBTZ @caroljsroth The Flaming Lips at The Leadmill in Sheffield, November 1999. No contest. Life changing.This is how tornadoes start. ๐Ÿ“น: Imgur user sougie91 https://t.co/aRT1QsFXiM
1/15
2020
"I SAID FUCKING NO, ANNETTE" ๐Ÿ“น: Gfycat user esberat https://t.co/FAjBhGhy1z
1/14
2020
"sorry I'm late for work, i got mugged by an ostrich again" ๐Ÿ“น: Imgur user ARussianAndHisBike https://t.co/khN91i0J80
1/13
2020
"no, it's OK, I can manage, you take your fucking video, Mandy" ๐Ÿ“น: Imgur user Zergcollective https://t.co/xCclIFiQ9P @AndyJokedAgain @clichedout @Michael1979 @mommajessiec @RodLacroix @fro_vo Third. What a fucking joke. Thanks, Andy ๐Ÿ˜‰
1/10
2020
How to finish an argument when you're wrong. ๐Ÿ“น: Reddit user to_the_tenth_power https://t.co/EBFF0icCSc
1/8
2020
"Steve, Steve, mate, I've gone blind, where are you? Seen any bread yet?" https://t.co/RjoDStV0h5If at first you don't succeed, fuck it. It's just not worth the effort. ๐Ÿ“น: Imgur user landgrab20 https://t.co/lrueZRLQCq
1/7
2020
Star Wars: Episode V - The Empire Strikes Back (Director's Cat) ๐Ÿ“น: https://t.co/qNcquypWcn https://t.co/2JbcMli16X
1/6
2020
"i asked for it to be cooked well-done. it's STILL FUCKING MOVING, Karen" ๐Ÿ“น: Imgur user sandronica https://t.co/bVPV3TD8Go
1/3
2020
#NewYearsResolutions To be even half as happy as Brian is with his new haircut. ๐Ÿ“น: https://t.co/lbz0B95scN https://t.co/ZK3UPYBfPx
1/2
2020
Happy 2020 everyone. Thank you for all your emails, messages and tweets โค๏ธ"what the FUCK happened last night?" ๐Ÿ“น: Imgur user DevonDay https://t.co/7oHu6Iooso
1/1
2019
@maxnugget @lynnymelon @CHIMPSINSOCKS @emmajrj When my time comes and they look back on my life, despite my many faโ€ฆ https://t.co/Tt0NaegHpg
11/28
2019
"GET YOUR OWN FUCKING TWEETS, BRONKS" https://t.co/HOxoitfqMTThis gif is available on the Twitter app, for free, before anyone accuses me of hacking Mrs Seal's phone.Just in case you're having a bad day, here's a seal with hiccups. https://t.co/V0s2uFbEXW"Stop worrying - nobody gets out of this world alive" #RIPClive #CliveJames https://t.co/Cl8yYzYMM8"Jeff" "Jeff" "JEFF" "fuck you then" ๐Ÿ“น: Imgur user alaingx https://t.co/r7tv1Nay77
11/27
2019
Hide and Seek Level: Expert ๐Ÿ“ธ: @fittermd https://t.co/FJPRWXIP6dWaiting for someone to tell me that going on the road with a death metal band would damage a dog's hearing.Date 8 of the European Tour: They still haven't noticed. https://t.co/eT0CgAilwlI'm really hoping that @cher approves, otherwise its going to be awkward af at Zumba tomorrow night.This might be my most important French Bulldog duet tweet so far. ๐Ÿ”Š ๐Ÿ“น: https://t.co/Dy9mpqEO0t https://t.co/StO4H9dz56
11/26
2019
This photo was stolen by me when Lauren foolishly left her phone unattended. You know how I operate. Or you could jโ€ฆ https://t.co/bcsLaHGfDz @Lauren18kGold You're very welcome. I hope she's feeling much better soon."shut up, Kevin, I'm thinking" ๐Ÿ“ธ: @Lauren18kGold https://t.co/9vkkvuEoYr @WingsScotland There's a lot of them! I kind of get why they hate me so much, though. I even hate myself a little ๐Ÿ˜‰ @WingsScotland What?๐Ÿ˜Š @WingsScotland And it would have been spectacular! If they hadn't blocked me. You'll have to hum along and imagine I did it.This one can't, I'm pretty sure the others can. https://t.co/HsWoGCUEFi https://t.co/9y2xa3khKf"i understand that road safety is important but why couldn't we just fly there, Alan?" ๐Ÿ“น: https://t.co/KnSVD8cbTw https://t.co/7ZUbw2mjqR
11/25
2019
@EllaKenion Happy Birthday, Ella, hope you have a lovely day! https://t.co/OvFPklgffz
11/23
2019
Also what I'm actually doing when I tell people that I'm going out for something to eat."just living the dream, friends, one bin at a time" ๐Ÿ“ธ: Imgur user warmyourbeans https://t.co/7O9Q2dlh9kGet on a train expecting morose silence but it is full of people chatting about football, petting a ladyโ€™s dog, andโ€ฆ https://t.co/uDOvBA7QxP
Retweeted by Paul BronksLive from my DMs: "it's funny but why is the f-bomb necessary, Paul?" "because it was his fucking turn, Tracey" @medi050505 @joeheenan @mrjamesmayhew @Jaynesharp @CliveDavisUK @HWarlow That's extremely kind, thank you! @AhNiamh @IWmdZ8MNPQQBr6d Yes, when I'm not in Asda. @IWmdZ8MNPQQBr6d Of all my tweets, this is my favourite. If me having a favourite makes me a bit of a wanker, this is still my favourite."One day, Simba, the sun will set on my time here, and will rise with you as the ne.......... he's got the rabbit eโ€ฆ https://t.co/ADZcDS0ns0 @shewmbamused Enjoy your day, Diane! @JEagland Thank you, Jodi, you too! @TallGirl6262 Hello Dedria, I hope you are well! ๐Ÿ‘‹๐Ÿ˜Š @siouxxsie17 Sleep well, Susie ๐Ÿ˜ด @lynnymelon Happy Fucking Friday, Lynny!"MY FUCKING TURN" ๐Ÿ“น: Imgur user Addicted2Groove https://t.co/E0qbjUtKHEStarts Monday folks! Get your quizzing pants on. Thereโ€™s a lot of questions to be answered! https://t.co/BxvvW6dbKS
Retweeted by Paul Bronks
11/22
2019
@billjanovitz Ladies and gentlemen, Mr Bill Janovitz. https://t.co/6AMnmerRVCKeith was annoyed that no one seemed to give a fuck about his new trousers. ๐Ÿ“น: Imgur user psuedon https://t.co/SHqz3M0jTJI thought you'd gone to bingo, Mum. https://t.co/sNrvQtUXSyThis wasn't meant to elicit another long thread of you all being fucking wonderful, but that's just what you do, time and time again โค๏ธI simply don't have the words to adequately express my gratitude for the many lovely words of support I've receivedโ€ฆ https://t.co/1o80dqIfJ1When you're so upset that only storming out of the room once isn't enough. ๐Ÿ“น: Imgur user Thund3rbolt https://t.co/nLmMQQHKoY
11/21
2019
@kimbochambers Oh, Kim, if I only had just one.As with all the tweets, if you own anything I post that you want removing, send a DM and I'll take it down. Otherwiโ€ฆ https://t.co/2LjoAjdISI"would it kill you to put the fucking heating on, Beth?" ๐Ÿ“ธ: @BethHSilverberg https://t.co/VhxoxAfewx"what the fuck, Steve?" https://t.co/7pJtFSoAIa
11/20
2019
@nanatwestfields Good morning Andrea, it's fucking freezing!! ๐Ÿ˜ฑUK Weather Update: "fuck THAT" ๐Ÿ“น: Reddit user Superbaker123 https://t.co/HNjgZtkKj9
11/19
2019
Blame @mammywagon, she asked me to."i missed you SO. FUCKING. MUCH" https://t.co/qJlPWyNuF5 @romasars https://t.co/f1FIrOwTuj @curtisstigers What they don't tell you is that he was going the other way and it took him three weeks to get that far. @nanatwestfields Morning Andrea, yes, fucking Monday again, it's every week now. Have a good day ๐Ÿ˜Š @lynnymelon Morning Lynny, TRY and enjoy Monday ๐Ÿ˜” @withchillies Damn that Penisex self assembly furniture."I SAID NO, BARRY" ๐Ÿ“น: https://t.co/HnqCfL5OU6 https://t.co/7O1ACfm0PVVonhi. Shap. Nukchi. Same as everyone else. https://t.co/IXdc96O8Tw
11/18
2019
Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning to dance to KC and the Sunshine Band. ๐Ÿ”Š ๐Ÿ“น:โ€ฆ https://t.co/c9Uaw3txolThis is an entirely accurate depiction of my commitment and performance with regard to exercise."i can feel the lbs dropping off already" ๐Ÿ“น: https://t.co/NinmFiKNGu https://t.co/5SjtqzNpS5
11/17
2019
"it's still November, Laura" ๐Ÿ“ธ: @semco89 https://t.co/rVrf6mulBI"hey, what's up, you from outta town?" ๐Ÿ“น: Imgur user LadyBlackbeardAndThePussyParrot https://t.co/PEUDIkKW7mIf you think that this tweet is me encouraging people to have their kids put their fingers in a dogs arse, be assurโ€ฆ https://t.co/Y4UhWh3Qbr"just so you know, I'm fine with 'good morning'" ๐Ÿ“น: https://t.co/Rq7dW7lgS9 https://t.co/tHCAyGQgZv
11/16
2019
Donkey in a hammock, I know, I know, it's serious. ๐Ÿ“น: Imgur user Breas https://t.co/07adhfwY18 @NiambhScullion @EMFM__ Yes, very bad. Me too, tbh ๐Ÿ˜Š @HennieInglis @EMFM__ https://t.co/yt8JH2SRN1
11/15
2019

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