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first-generation filipina born + bred in queens. art director, designer, expert-level parallel parker. i make things for social media.

921 Following   1,868 Followers   33,127 Tweets

Joined Twitter 12/7/08

bought a jar of pickles from my bodega, got to my kitchen and realized i couldn't open them, then ran back outside… @tropicalbones are we the same personi will never forget the immediate pang of existentialism i felt when a friend casually told me "you give me big capricorn energy." @gabecortez WE STANwhile on this topic –– my deepest condolences to anyone who knew me as a teenager. @oliviamoo_re I SAY THIS TOO 😭can we normalize asking people how they want to be cared for? like, i'm a fixer. i know i'm a fixer. when people…
Retweeted by stacy magallon ⚡ @tropicalbones hi it me because i’m afraid of my account counterparts being upset with meGirls will tweet ‘be kind, you don’t know what people are going through‘ and then vote Conservative
Retweeted by stacy magallon ⚡
the most recent episode of #Superstore made me 20% more afraid of teenagers and i was already terrified of them to begin with.Incase anyone was having a bad day :)
Retweeted by stacy magallon ⚡white, upper class gentrifiers be like “omg! look at all the gentrification going on in my neighborhood!” as if the… the fuck am i killing mosquitos in late october? 😑Today I am endorsing Senator @BernieSanders for president. In the end, we must come together to defeat Donald Trum…
Retweeted by stacy magallon ⚡ @beckyydel QUEENS MISSES YOU BOTH
about me: “what disney princess am i like?” @_bobbymilk: “uh... there are so many choices... for your wonderful personality.”
Today at M Booth we had ourselves a ~HOMECOMING~ We repped our favorite schools, reminisced on some favorite colle…
Retweeted by stacy magallon ⚡Coworker (on phone): “Sorry! There’s a Trump rally outside my house. If there’s noise, it’s because of Trump suppor…
Retweeted by stacy magallon ⚡ @gabecortez go 👏 off 👏Yeet!! Tonight’s all new #superstore is 🔥 fam I’m dead sksksksksk!!!! #schoolsucks #tiktok #taylorswift #puberty
Retweeted by stacy magallon ⚡no talk me im angy
Retweeted by stacy magallon ⚡
the highlight of my work day was painting and decorating this DIY ballot box for my team’s homecoming themed beer f… “if barry dies, i guess that’s a poignant way to wrap up the TV series.” also me: “if barry dies, i won’t watch… @VPetrocelliNY straight up douchebagsgod grant me the strength of those who put personal calls on speaker in public.d o not talk me,. Am anger
Retweeted by stacy magallon ⚡I’m never deleting this app
Retweeted by stacy magallon ⚡this is definitely sth that could happen in a cloud 9 store
Retweeted by stacy magallon ⚡The coke on the phone is too much to process
Retweeted by stacy magallon ⚡
@LouisOprisa please eat 🥺❣️ @LouisOprisa i feel like this tweet had potential without the baseball analogyme: "you're my best friend." my mom: "you're my best friend too!" "what about your husband?" "eh, he's just my friend."i made dis! 🥰 #client messaging my boyfriend to talk about @IlhanMN, my phone autocorrected “ilhan” to “ilysm” and i’m totally fine with emo phase never went away it just aged like fine wine
Retweeted by stacy magallon ⚡Tax the rich.
Retweeted by stacy magallon ⚡for $5 i will write "yikes" under one of your ex's selfies
Retweeted by stacy magallon ⚡ @aacdwll I ALSO DID A DEEP DIVE (lol so aqua of us) AND ALSO SUPER YIKES’Dgina rodriguez is..... buggin.*me opening up the delicious ethnic food my mom packed for me in middle school* the white kids:
Retweeted by stacy magallon ⚡ @divyapsundaram oh NO @thatgrlaudrey exactly tbh
You too young for me if your insta wasn’t like this
Retweeted by stacy magallon ⚡when i was a baby, i would often make my way to the refrigerator and eat uncooked vegetables if i was hungry. my pa… @aacdwll running with it just in case he wanna lower my rent, but as of rn i get discounted sandwiches!my landlord popped into the bodega while i was grabbing something to eat, and he and the bodega guy have both agree… @marlenvargas WHAT @aacdwll @LouisOprisa @CBS i think we all have a back up plan low key now. you know i've always said you have the best nails and cuticles @aacdwll @LouisOprisa @CBS wow that's a dub. i'm a huge nose picker @LouisOprisa @CBS can you believe he's 6'4" and can't loan me 4 inches to be an average height? @LouisOprisa @CBS can you believe hand modeling is actually an extremely minor avenue of talent for me and now he's… internet: @LouisOprisa is in a @CBS show. he has PEAKED. @valderie yes tbh let’s think back to 2010me: “you’ve had anxiety attacks before! take deep breaths! call a friend! you can do this!” also me: “DO SOMETHING… @valderie the audacity. even though i didn’t wear retainers afterwards 🤣 @valderie me, realizing i need invisalignhaven’t cried in therapy for quite some time so i guess i was overdue! 🤠
*when a baby holds ur finger with their whole hand* 🥺🥺 🥺🥺 🥺🥺🥺 🥺🥺🥺 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 🥺…
Retweeted by stacy magallon ⚡some people can facetime me randomly, others cannot. know your role
Retweeted by stacy magallon ⚡*plans change* me: i wanted was a chill ass day off, but ya girl can’t even have that. if anyone tries me today, i S. 2. G. i might pop off.Christopher Columbus was a mediocre piece of shit drunk that thought he was on his way to India to gather spices wh…
Retweeted by stacy magallon ⚡Y’all I was present for a proposal and I am CHANGED. Much love to the happy couple!!!!
Retweeted by stacy magallon ⚡All this training only to get spooked by a black man eating ice cream
Retweeted by stacy magallon ⚡ @gabecortez following this thread so i can take myself out on a date when i need dat self luv
lara jean covey: “because the more people you let into your life, the more they can just walk right out.” peter kav… “craig, motivate me to clean the apartment.” @CraigKissoon: “i think you should clean the apartment today becau… tweet came for my throat. me how the starbucks barista brought out the order for someone named ming jun and ONLY looked at me.#client! 💕 @AmitSBadlani oh NO 😭😭😭😭😭 @AmitSBadlani bamboozled my own feelings 😭thought i could watch the notebook before bed and be totally fine.
Conservatives don’t give a damn that Betsy DeVos owns 10 yachts since she doesn’t care about the working class, but…
Retweeted by stacy magallon ⚡noah centineo was in like, six of my dreams last night and i woke up to text him “yooooo guess what” just to remember i do not know him.hi friends i finally cleaned up my website that i built (still a work in progress), and now you can see photos that…
Retweeted by stacy magallon ⚡anytime a coworker says they like my outfit, almost every piece of it is from the sales rack at target. after taking a million selfies and not one looks good
Retweeted by stacy magallon ⚡IN!! CASE!! YOU!! MISSED!! IT!! @dylan_thyme ILY AND THIS THREAD THANK YOU!!!!some people saying she’s the female version of john*y d*ep... i’m sorry to ruin this for you, but he’s actually the…
Retweeted by stacy magallon ⚡
@1kehelle @society6 that’s incredibly bullshithello @society6. the tracking information hasn’t been updated in nine days now. are there any reasons why this pack… joked that I “must not have any side gigs” bc I go to bed early. I want us to get over this idea that sleep…
Retweeted by stacy magallon ⚡teachers are everything. ❤️ is @AOC’s private salon bill up for debate while Pence’s public limo tab flies under the radar?
Retweeted by stacy magallon ⚡WHITE PEOPLE DON’T GET TO DECIDE WHAT’S RACIST.
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@fantasfico omg the cutestMen have no idea how much if costs to be a woman
Retweeted by stacy magallon ⚡as someone who gets her roots touched up every 4-6 months, i know that most people pay a base of $200-$400 (plus ti…
Retweeted by stacy magallon ⚡Go w your mom when she invites you to breakfast. Ask her about her day. Call her if you’re far from her. Give her t…
Retweeted by stacy magallon ⚡The fact that they stayed in character! A professional! Lamooooooooi
Retweeted by stacy magallon ⚡me after my tweet flops
Retweeted by stacy magallon ⚡Saw this in the replies to Mark Ruffalo's tweet and it's my new favorite thing
Retweeted by stacy magallon ⚡ @LouisOprisa text my mom on the regular