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"Save your sassy asides for your windowless bars" I also have a drawings and photos account called @marswasrubbish

1,271 Following   1,547 Followers   91,651 Tweets

Joined Twitter 3/23/09

A lovely thing from my favourite pigeon murderer. In the latest episode of Smashed Prawns in a Milky Basket, @felicitymontagu talks about her roles in Nighty Ni…
Retweeted by Graeme SwansonI feel this is Harris but I can't be that specific but I'd bet a kidney it's the Outer Hebrides. Dinner With Andre World. @TheBlueAcorn Grass. I think they’re from Greenland.More geese. It’s in this filter to show them more clearly rather than artistic ponce reasons. @TheBlueAcorn It’s sort of a quacky-honk. #naturewriting @akbea I mean, it’s like loads. Half of them had gone by the time I thought I should probably take a photo of this. @TheBlueAcorn And really loud too. Good loud.I can’t properly express in this photo the “bloody hell, that’s a lot of geese-ness” I just experienced but bloody… @weegietiger69 Really meant to watch that. I’ll iPlayer it.Was just reading a book when it hit me how clever humans were for inventing writing. Never had this thought reading Twitter, oddly.And now, a dramatic reading from Austin Powers
Retweeted by Graeme SwansonI am always ready for stories of people who think they’re Blofeld being reminded they’re just another murderer. quickly checking the trending topics. @lisakendalldxb Interesting. I really have no idea. Need to research. A website with a shop might be better for me actually. @TheBlueAcorn @bensonpeter20 You just reminded me of the Mitchell & Webb sketch. The man who had a cough and it’s j… is about 50 years away from being one solitary street in the Home Counties. hate less important to me than my money, says millionaire. know people aren’t so keen on my abstract shapes but some of them have had nearly 6 likes.
Retweeted by Graeme SwansonThinking of setting up an Etsy shop (or something similar) There’s been enough interest in my drawings and pictures… this normal? Exxon releasing statement like this?
Retweeted by Graeme SwansonAdam Buxton Klaxon! Asking JnJ all the right questions and some very wrong ones.
Retweeted by Graeme SwansonThis looks great. Would have loved to have seen this.’s #inktober2020 The prompt word is “Coral” My drawing style doesn’t tend to lend itself to beauty but I imagi…
Retweeted by Graeme SwansonNews: Tributes Paid To Comedian Stan Vernon
Retweeted by Graeme Swanson
Early night. Night.
Retweeted by Graeme SwansonAnother abstract one so I’ve called this “Lady shapes with Alan Partridge”
Retweeted by Graeme Swanson“The elfin delight Toby Jones” exciting is coming to @NatGalleriesSco from October 24th... #Harryhausen100
Retweeted by Graeme SwansonThis looks great. Sat next to Michael Clark at a meal once but was too in awe to say anything. "So, dancing eh?" like to watch Unsolved Mysteries but can’t stop screaming “All mysteries are unsolved!” and “I’m so lonely!” at the television.I’ve been taking photos of the local area while listening to M.R. James stories. Michael Hordern is my favourite vo… slightly better about my drawing today. I've ordered a pen. #optimismA battle of shits more like #morelike has revealed itself to be only a bad headache. Now listening to Kim Noble's Futile Attempts podcast. It's… back to bed with a migraine but thought I’d just squeeze in a tweet and some artificial light.This website finally pays off
Retweeted by Graeme SwansonWhen I do the #inktober drawings I use all the hashtags because I want people to see it but they attract lunatics.…’s #inktober2020 The prompt word is “Dizzy” #inktoberday19 #marswasrubbish #inktober
Retweeted by Graeme Swanson
Wtf I fell in love and now I gotta share a bedroom for the rest of my life??
Retweeted by Graeme Swanson @TheBlueAcorn of those news stories where no one is reading the article but looking at the accompanying picture. @TheBlueAcorn It's not really the cinemas. It's the sitting on a bus for two hours there and back. If I lived on my… @TheBlueAcorn Ooh. Jealous. I can't go the cinema without worrying my mum to death. Really looking forward to Saint Maud.An untitled one but for my files I’ve named it after a random Alan Partridge quote. This is “I know what happened,L…
Retweeted by Graeme SwansonRewatched the original Ring. The hand coming out of well still scares the living bejesus out of me. reviews are fine -- they can even be gleeful if the target is big enough. (Don't kick a puppy down the sta…
Retweeted by Graeme Swanson @ophelea23 I let him get away with a lot because of my love of the first two seasons of Arrested Development. @ophelea23 This is basically what I did. Needed something non-taxing and was pleased to find it not to be complete rubbish @scrapegroat I agree. It’s fine. Massively okayish film.Large 2,000-year-old cat discovered in Peru's Nazca lines
Retweeted by Graeme SwansonI see Game Night is on Netflix. I maintain that Rachel McAdams’ “Oh no, he died” is one of the greatest line delive… odd, I think, that nowhere in the piece does it mention, even in passing, that there actually WAS a film c…
Retweeted by Graeme Swanson @neilclasper Yes! It’s more AS than The Fall.Occasionally I have to stop myself stealing photos from my friends’ Instagrams and posting them on here just to go… sculptures of the apocalypse.
Retweeted by Graeme SwansonThe best, most savage hatchet jobs to read are dry ones: where you sense the critic holding back a bit, not out of…
Retweeted by Graeme SwansonColombo episode Etude In Black is on 5USA just now. It stars Peter Falk’s BFF “misogynist, genius, alcoholic” John Cassavetes.The mistake is because someone didn’t put the pens away properly. (I’m being passive aggressive to myself) haven’t watched it yet and I will but I can’t escape the celebrities singing Imagine energy that comes off the tr…*sees some nice plimsolls* £130! Get fu *double checks I can’t afford them* cked! @London_Lou It’s ***** ******** I can’t stand. And don’t get me started on ******** *** *******Running theme. Dolls struggling to write novels.
Retweeted by Graeme SwansonI subtweet sometimes but you all stop subtweeting for 5 minutes so I can find out who you're all subtweeting about? @Alistair_King It was the first time I remember being aware of The Onion but I also liked it because I often wonder… @Alistair_King I've always loved the classic era Onion headline "Holy Shit Fuck Man Walks On Fucking Moon."Fake mourner #ThingsThatSoundLikeFallSongs @abigailb Yes, that came out of nowhere. @AlasdairSwanson I remember seeing it at the time too (probably with you) and never ending opening titles seemed to… Upon A Time In The West maybe? Some films don’t show the title for ages but I can’t think of one where it’s ju… Rigg, c.1966
Retweeted by Graeme Swanson @TheBlueAcorn The first book ‘Combustion’ is my favourite.This is interesting but was over 50 years ago and he did time for perjury so it’ll probably scratch the record some… is today’s #inktober2020 The prompt word is “Trap” #marswasrubbish #Inktober #inktober2020day18
Retweeted by Graeme SwansonOh good. A Scientologist. @Quiffandspecs He is, he’s 84. I decided to go to see Jerry Sadowitz for the first time in 1987 when I heard Arnold… a recommendation from @ScarredForLife2, I caught up with Nigel Kneale's Murrain last night. Creepy…
Retweeted by Graeme SwansonHe knows the election is in three weeks, doesn't he?
I think I’d be brilliant at winning a million pounds and seeing a Bigfoot.Didn’t watch The Shining because I’ve seen it a gazillion times (12) and it was on at the same time as Comfort And… @landrews2702 @theresakost13 Oh my. That is...leafy. @GaspardWinckler All those poor people not dying.Grinned all the way through Arnold Brown’s bit. #comfortandjoy @TheBlueAcorn He is so close to turning to the camera and looking exasperated. @TheBlueAcorn That’s two iPlayer puns in an evening. You are on fire.Bill Paterson has the same eyes as Ewan McGregor and I think it’s important that I share this observation. #comfortandjoy @TheBlueAcorn If you’ve got a posh telly you can scroll down to BBC Scotland. (And it’ll be iPlayer) The Shining is… & Joy is on at 9:30 on BBC Scotland funny melancholic Scottish films starring Bill Patterson fans.Before I saw The Owl Service I assumed it was some service the owls provided, like Deliveroo for goths. “Oh, it’s p… The Owl Service.
Retweeted by Graeme SwansonI’ve always thought of Twitter as the social media site of choice for miserable sarcastic people over 30 not under… my drawings are like in my head vs how they end up. doing your funny pictures, Graeme? Yep., Grammarly, I definitely meant "per cent" and not "percent" I'm always saying how many cents I need and never e… is like me, a Scot, saying Americans need to cut down on their cheese. @RobOnABike That's where I got most of my Nabakovs. Nice view as well when you have your free tea or coffee too. @RobOnABike Is that the Edinburgh one? There's a nice more cramped one in St Andrews.