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grab your helmet and fasten your tactical headlamp. we’re going deeper down the mineshaft of my hippocampus.

500 Following   6,867 Followers   5,372 Tweets

Joined Twitter 4/24/09


@Randydeluxe tbh at first i thought you made that map up with a randomized jumbling of socal location names @Uriel_dArcAngel we can’t because if we travel to that future date, it’ll be the future of *this* 2020. we need to… https://t.co/VRehVqWWIq
9/20
2020
this year is so bizarre. feels like when marty and doc return from 2015 to 1985, only to discover things are drasti… https://t.co/PDfq6ApbRA @EvGres i find the grammatical errors/typos on such a serious chart disconcertingThe person who told me Ruth Bader Ginsburg had passed away was my daughter, Neve. I was terribly sad, but also fill… https://t.co/I6g5Yv3vY6
Retweeted by jonathan brownobviously RIP RBG—a legend has left us. on that note, literally the only benefit of my time spent pandemic sequest… https://t.co/lMyW2bGbxNHell yes it has Donate here: https://t.co/5lLeigyyk0 https://t.co/j3JvtZhYel
Retweeted by jonathan brown
9/19
2020
@serialxseven lemme know what you think! i’m so about oddball movies like that, especially if what you’re seeing an… https://t.co/WUaqIxQ2lPReports out of Jerome, AZ confirm the impending arrival of Existential Reckoning, a new album from special agents o… https://t.co/ifmlFfeSG7
Retweeted by jonathan brown
9/18
2020
i’m thinking of ending things on netflix has unexpectedly become my favorite film of 2020. charlie kaufman is the m… https://t.co/C8nO4pBKoJWhile crickets chirp around him, Jared Kushner says the President didn’t run away from the challenge of Coronavirus… https://t.co/NlTqPhf5lz
Retweeted by jonathan brown
9/17
2020
@JustinRYoung @scottjohnson @Randydeluxe if i agree it’s only ‘cause i’ll always recognize texas as a separate, sov… https://t.co/c61VW1xfj0 @Astranger21 it’s fascinating how much effort in trumpism involves ignoring fundamental causes to the country’s iss… https://t.co/miusMTqJBt @Randydeluxe @scottjohnson i just watched sunshine for the first time a couple weeks go. i guess i was hoping the c… https://t.co/TnyfCsNGo5 @Astranger21 seriously! when is this country gonna wake up to the truth of all this increasingly severe devastation… https://t.co/pEagLNr5QZ @JustinRYoung @scottjohnson @Randydeluxe i didn’t know about the public records law until desi lydic’s daily show r… https://t.co/fJHAsgiMCWat some point robert pattinson seems to have become the hottest commodity in art house cinema. he and ex kristen st… https://t.co/lRzgDLdXDz @Astranger21 @realDonaldTrump pretty sure he’s aware but thinks it’s a way of consuming the souls of service industry peons.
9/16
2020
I just wrote Congress, urging them to investigate my belief that the U.S. is tampering with the 2020 election.
Retweeted by jonathan brownThe funniest moment in music history is when the Sublime guy says "I can play the guitar like a MOTHERFUCKIN RIOT" and goes doodly doot doot
Retweeted by jonathan brown
9/15
2020
@Astranger21 and my suspicions were confirmed. catheters suck. so. fucking. hard. @Astranger21 i dunno. they checked to make sure there’s no infection causing it. i was referred to a urologist for… https://t.co/7T5PTggeMS
9/8
2020
@bbyoliva it was fucking crazy. the feeling of bladder relief was overshadowed by the intense discomfort of the catheter. 😵 @proxypls thanks. i absolutely have profound respect for the seriousness of the dick tube. i always figured my firs… https://t.co/grbrtBG6qB @Astranger21 @tedcruz hey teddy. jonathan here. i just wanna remind you that, no matter how hard you and team trump… https://t.co/K7iVdQNwqd @suntiger745 i don’t think so but am still in a fair bit of pain left from the overextended bladder. @MayorDasMoose not really sure. nothing bacterial. i was referred to a urologist to follow up asap. @micahwhipple @holinka yea i have a version of you in my head that i see eye to eye with on almost everything. he’s… https://t.co/XbSU00E8Yljust made a desperation visit to the er to be drained by a dick tube. i hadn’t been able to go to the bathroom in 2… https://t.co/cL68jlfW88
9/7
2020
@micahwhipple @holinka wait what? didn’t we used to reference tombstone? i could’ve sworn you also watched it dozens of times growing up.
9/6
2020
Ain't you twats lucky that #TheBoysTV is back. https://t.co/qmxHHzq7A2
Retweeted by jonathan brown
9/5
2020
Pokémon GO TO THE POLLS https://t.co/mGcTh5kcs2 @pattonoswalt omg, you as Gills singing “You Are So Beautiful” to The Deep... it’s everything I hoped for. It’s eve… https://t.co/Nh6qIyarPW @GOPLeader it doesn’t blow my mind that you’d tweet that callous and reckless nonsense. what’d blow my mind is if you believe it. @pattonoswalt @mariabamfoo happy barfday maria! genius work of late on @BonanasPod! https://t.co/8fJTdvDmfq @pattonoswalt oh my fuck
9/4
2020
Right, because all bread is digital now. https://t.co/RRG6xsQTSa
Retweeted by jonathan brownmandalorian season 2 - president trump vows to punch baby yoda much harder than anyone ever thought possible
9/3
2020
@StephanFrost @DeckNineGames u go boi! 🧚🏻‍♂️
9/2
2020
To be young, gifted, and black. https://t.co/Y8KRkadsVv
Retweeted by jonathan brown @telefontelaviv absolutely. it’s not often i recoil in horror when these sorts of stories break. this is a tremendo… https://t.co/Mwm7dqu83T
8/29
2020
This was so weird. #RNC2020 https://t.co/YHReTl0bfT
Retweeted by jonathan brown @lights for a minute there i thought my name was printed on your chest... i’m just gonna roll with that. 🤓Gorgeous dress https://t.co/JV0Da0RLrU
Retweeted by jonathan browngrab every flag in america and take a victory lap bro 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼 https://t.co/Ke9ONcfwCM
8/28
2020
FUCK THIS MAN!!!! WE DEMAND CHANGE. SICK OF IT
Retweeted by jonathan brown @SGreenroyd i was gonna pay some coyotes. word on the street is they’ve barely broken ground on their border wall. @telefontelaviv and then all of america gets to have a beer with the winnerit sounds like melania trump lives in a pretty great country with a strong, compassionate leader. i’m thinking of emigrating.
8/26
2020
@telefontelaviv and at least some chance it stars the real falwelli wince every time. it’s “whom you may know” damn it. way to shit the bed instagram.
8/24
2020
THIS. IS. NUTS. Gulf of Mexico, south of Port Fourchon, Louisiana. 8/20/20 https://t.co/WLM3D6OmOL
Retweeted by jonathan brown @frauleinherr lol
8/23
2020
existential crisis—are these tears of laughter fairly standard, or are they so intense that i have cause to cock my… https://t.co/wuDq7sOvBo @telefontelaviv though, out of curiosity, are you entirely certain it’s not that, for all of obl’s transgressions,… https://t.co/JzscZbsKL5 @telefontelaviv omg srsly lol. ever the public servant you are.IDEA: What if we just put Confederate General hats on all the mailboxes?
Retweeted by jonathan brown
8/22
2020
we’re friends yea?What’s even crazier than these two speaking at the Republican convention is that their guns are introducing them. https://t.co/4KrPW3zso4
Retweeted by jonathan brownNetflix just canceled @hasanminhaj’s vital PATRIOT ACT at a time of global pandemic and racial reckoning, in the mi… https://t.co/5H1yyBjxj2
Retweeted by jonathan brown
8/19
2020
there are good days and there are days you don’t sleep and think you should see what the hurricane heist has going for it
8/16
2020
@micahwhipple MICAH ITS UR BIRTHDAY HAPPY BIRTHDAY https://t.co/CpEFbDqp9Q
8/11
2020
This is too good. YouTuber walks around Shibuya like it’s a video game. https://t.co/lMRzIk1o7O
Retweeted by jonathan brown
8/8
2020
@frauleinherr tbh i miss your previous name
8/7
2020
People are calling for the presidential debates to be canceled, but if that happens, how will I decide who to vote for?
Retweeted by jonathan brown @rocom @frauleinherr and they ordered a second season
8/6
2020
@liinxy @Warcraftjen @ckaleiki the blew looks good on yew. 💙
8/4
2020
@Pappylicious that’s why ya gotta do gremlins 2: the new batch. it’s more self-aware of its ludicrousness.RT if fuck
Retweeted by jonathan brown
8/3
2020
@mr_justin haha. i haven’t watched any other sports but i’ve heard about crowd sounds in baseball. and in hockey th… https://t.co/Ol0JhqGQxmAMG YE OLE SKATE-PUCKING IS BACK i really don’t understand all the sports broadcasts continuing to opt for fake cr… https://t.co/SgU8Nk07x2i’m not sure there’s a more unpleasant noise in the world than the sounds of any john wayne or elvis presley movie.… https://t.co/E7Ae9t3jFj @thomasbeekers @Pappylicious @casskhaw @RocketPatrol timely themes on the importance of wearing masks...My friend was told she’d be fired for posting this & was forced to take it down so here’s a photo of Betsy Devos af… https://t.co/S78j45CZgf
Retweeted by jonathan brown @Randydeluxe also that’s the only angle and time of day at which lake elsinore looks good. @telefontelaviv omg it does. i oddly happened to catch bits and pieces of that flick on more than one occasion duri… https://t.co/I2kUeuQiDm
8/1
2020
Ladies, I’m a 2-ply, washable cloth mask in the streets and a surgical n95 respirator in the sheets.
Retweeted by jonathan brown @Randydeluxe i used to live there for a brief and storied moment in my early adult life.
7/31
2020
thanks obama #GoodTrouble
7/30
2020
you can’t make this shit up. err... well i guess she can. https://t.co/BAert5M4bhpaul rudd is trending so this is the perfect time to bring this back https://t.co/5ptaze22ut
Retweeted by jonathan brownit was jarring when i woke up to realize i had been sleeping awkwardly on my arm, ‘cause i was having a very vivid… https://t.co/tnvaQwgny1fuggin’ seriously tho rhea seehorn and bob odenkirk. fuggin’ seriously???
7/29
2020
@ReedRothchild08 @lights i lol’d so friggin’ hard at this @lights lol omg i want @StephenKing YES!
7/27
2020
If America saw what America is doing in America, America would invade America to liberate America from the tyranny of America
Retweeted by jonathan brown
7/26
2020
@F0x_F0rce_Five @micahwhipple @RobertAWing i eventually moved onto “Always,” @F0x_F0rce_Five @micahwhipple @RobertAWing i always like to send associates and colleagues into a state of existential introspection. @Cryssylol thanks. 🤠 yea except for the muscle relaxer i was just refilling other stuff. but i had been off gabapen… https://t.co/yVyE6sKNUn @Cryssylol gabapentin and some muscle relaxer. @telefontelaviv oh here! for your simple reference. totally. makes. sense. https://t.co/mjKgRUn1Vj @telefontelaviv my tweet was more serious than i originally intended it. that’s his good that series is. 🤷🏻‍♂️ @telefontelaviv nah dude just be patient and give it like 100 more hours it’ll all make sense in the end
7/24
2020
am i still upholding my sobriety if the medication i was prescribed today is making me feel like that couch and i a… https://t.co/5bMPJ5YWr7
7/23
2020
@allisonshoe your perry mason reviews are so enjoyable. i’m always hopeful that you’ll highlight some of my favorit… https://t.co/4k5xUbbx6o
7/20
2020
@DiscoPriest prolly too late for that. maybe exorcism though.tinder is such bullshit all these kentucky gals want guys with cars and jobs and places to live
7/16
2020
@devolore https://t.co/NTxvwjhwaQworking my way through the americans again, it’s undeniable how adept they were at leveraging peter gabriel.
7/15
2020

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