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I have a folder called 'Coolest SQL', Videos games are my anti-drug, meme illiterate. He/him.

167 Following   239 Followers   50,190 Tweets

Joined Twitter 3/31/09


riverdale rules bc archie goes to jail for murder and then escapes during an illegal bareknuckle boxing match and t… https://t.co/e8O7gv0bSP
Retweeted by Tauf
7/22
2019
Of course since Disney now owns Avatar as well it doesn't really matter does itNot that I particularly give a shit but Avengers Endgame has only nominally beat Avatar's box office. It needs to e… https://t.co/A2e63KC1TP @taufmonster @BlizzardWatch jankles
Retweeted by Tauf
7/21
2019
Hey Dark Souls? Can we talk about what you're doing here with the ankles? From @appleciderwitch's stream on… https://t.co/HmLFRi9x34I will allow 1 (one) demon to possess me on the condition that before you're done you pack up my office for our upcoming moveA reminder that, when JFK made the commitment to go to the moon, the top tax rate was 91 percent. When Apollo 11 la… https://t.co/sJh7wSpkCD
Retweeted by Tauf
7/20
2019
H.E.B. really out here sending emails designed to give you a heart attack https://t.co/dJnXlW5xPWI'm not interested in watching CATS but what I DO want is a generator that will give me my CATS cat name and let me generate my CATS OCTag yourself I'm a Statistical Cat https://t.co/QERZNqjnDiBuying a necktie for my cat is the best purchase I’ve made all year. Alanna and I keep calling him a business man. https://t.co/LSv81lj28m
Retweeted by Taufsuch as the comments on this post https://t.co/ESWoKWZYWNOne of my favorite memes of the moment is people being shocked that the youth don't know about Caramelldansenwhy do the cats in the new Cats movie look like bad Medieval cat paintings lmao https://t.co/mIHbJbrIhi
Retweeted by TaufEvery cat in Cats is stuck halfway through their morph https://t.co/6vOzm1xeds
Retweeted by Tauf
7/19
2019
It's been brought up that Role Lock will make @PlayOverwatch easier to balance because there are fewer possible com… https://t.co/hBV50HX3K8https://t.co/VpWZZgNYH3
Retweeted by TaufCATS https://t.co/7H8XEZKH5oAll these @PlayOverwatch changes are just solidifying my opinion that Mystery Heroes is the best team competitive m… https://t.co/ZDloTIVPUC @StunGravy but what if he needs to fell a tree?Jake Gyllenhaal looks so goddamn much like Disneyland Woody https://t.co/2FUPTZq07t
Retweeted by TaufI'm buying this for all my friends who have sonshttps://t.co/xfbMAQLx9Zhttps://t.co/pFSjB4mhoh
7/18
2019
Toxic viewer; "hOw mUch toO lET mE sEE yOUr fEEt". Me; https://t.co/KDWegzkIxq
Retweeted by Tauf
7/17
2019
@patrickklepek hi Dr Cox from Scrubs but older @itskayteemkay Hi Birthday I'm Honk @zaralynda I'm jealous!Today I spotted A white Chevy Avalanche truck With a God Bless Our Troops bumper sticker Pulling into the Apple par… https://t.co/WmXlXADsfi @PixelJunkNews @superspinmove64 @dylancuthbert @giles It's my #2 no joke
7/16
2019
@tylercolp https://t.co/A3yQSWD3AZ @fightgarden How Garden State of him @a_dog_irl https://t.co/FuDouaKzpBFred's helping Henry play beat saber. https://t.co/JttCMAILwT
Retweeted by Tauf
7/14
2019
My (29m) wife (25f) sent me a letter asking me to return to the town of Silent Hill.
Retweeted by TaufMasc folks on dating apps, femme people are so tired of getting messages that just start with "hey" or "hi." When o… https://t.co/s0TNJCd6BI
Retweeted by Tauf
7/13
2019
the question now is whether this is the Charlie's Angels Cinematic Universe or the @totinos Cinematic Universe1. Kristen Stewart's character in Charlie's Angels is "Sabina" 2. Her character in the SNL Totino's ad was Sabine -… https://t.co/53BWfuZP7XBroke: gender reveal Woke: gander reveal https://t.co/dtZsgnFfj8
Retweeted by TaufBroke: gender reveal Woke: gander reveal https://t.co/dtZsgnFfj8Yo Tim from Crazy Ex-Girlfriend is in this episode of Veronica Mars. @sphye figured it out https://t.co/YU7QGTQWwq
7/12
2019
This is still probably the best tweet https://t.co/gJJvYAZmYuCan I get a phone case that looks like a TI-83 cover?cc: @outofcontextBA https://t.co/ZWuAcbObGBLet's have a donnybrook @nytimes fuck offAOC is right. And though she doesn't mention it, one of the most alarming aspects is that Pelosi attacks congresswo… https://t.co/BI7hgXjRjx
Retweeted by TaufWhile the rest of us are dragging around reusable water bottles and trying to find replacements for single use sand… https://t.co/ulaFpiRLZI
Retweeted by Tauf
7/11
2019
this is mike wheeler & will byers in season 15 of stranger things. https://t.co/EK718sCcld
Retweeted by Tauf
7/10
2019
@soetzufit yikes @soetzufit is it like that cat druid meme from burning crusade?Sometimes you're the potato https://t.co/LlZLlWE7mt
Retweeted by Tauf.@kobunheat I typed Dream Factory's level code into youtube to see if anyone's played it (I'm at work) and got this… https://t.co/K4122O2MNi
7/9
2019
and also everybody else's lifeStranger Things is the story of Joyce Byers saving her son's life three times.There's so much going on in this tweet and this image I'm going to die https://t.co/6ryqk5lbxsAfter Coke, New Coke, Coke 2 (which is rebranded New Coke), and Coke Zero I think it's time to reboot the Coke franchise.Beat Saber is pretty fun. I slept on it for so long and am regretting that now
7/8
2019
It didn't take the best screenshot but I got the platinum for Sekiro! Just had to beat it four times #PS4share https://t.co/Pkftpt2njE
7/7
2019
We binged season 3 last night and I'm happy to report this did not happen again https://t.co/UGIPHH9EAJThat feeling when nobody's played your level even though you uploaded it 3 days ago....#spoilers https://t.co/dSdIcqUH74Play my level, Slip Slope Summit! XXJ-70V-1RG #SuperMarioMaker2 #NintendoSwitch https://t.co/98rQvsiwf9
7/6
2019
@sphye I'm hungry and thinking about that cheese dip right now @_Zse Our cats have done this @Sylphiel joining a class/spec specific discord to find information that I should just be able to google is somethi… https://t.co/qAxWwL22oWI would die for this little robit https://t.co/eyxpLXcqiN
7/5
2019
@codewytch https://t.co/KjwHZgBZgHIt's Independence Day so we donated $100 each to @RAICESTEXAS @FlorenceProject @supportKINDtherapist: & what do we say when we start feeling like this me: im a bad bitch you cant kill me therapist: no
Retweeted by TaufVeba Zna vf qrnq naq vf fgvyy fbzrubj gur nofbyhgr jbefg naq shpxvat rirelguvat hc #rot13 #Spiderman Movie is great
7/4
2019
The best bread-maker near you in Madrid is the Super Barrio Bakerhttps://t.co/nkEecYX4cc
Retweeted by Taufplease enjoy this scene from Fast & Furious 6 where, because of baffling staging choices, The Rock looks tiny, th… https://t.co/xYgFrPC20L
Retweeted by Tauf @goldmadoka @Sylphiel @roefizzlebeef And also an unsolved math problem https://t.co/4rImuR7A36My favorite metal gear memory is when I was watching a trailer for Metal Gear Solid 4 and someone said "The onus is… https://t.co/PbG8URHzELMany thanks to @littlerockfire for extinguishing this tiny blaze next to my apartment tonight. And thanks to the ve… https://t.co/5tHTgrTshZ
Retweeted by Tauf
7/3
2019
Sidescrolling Adventure is so much better (but admittedly almost all genre names suck for games) https://t.co/tAJMdeOdie @forestfamiliar parents can be a group effort sometimes @forestfamiliar memes?This sucks https://t.co/9WbTT0Zhj3I owned the "Sad Girl in Snow" webcomic blanked, amatfw your wife decides to testify against you https://t.co/TRqVjutB3PWe were at my parent's house recently and my mom gave (dumped) a bunch of my old stuff on me to take home and guess… https://t.co/JYQdzODfN2
Retweeted by TaufWe were at my parent's house recently and my mom gave (dumped) a bunch of my old stuff on me to take home and guess… https://t.co/JYQdzODfN2
7/2
2019
Yikes https://t.co/xZIUHVuj52 https://t.co/eSC0wCsJ0D @patrickklepek please make @DanRyckert have to mail you a letter with a drawing to get you to play his levelsIf bunker comp becomes a problem in Overwatch I would like to remind everybody that pre-rework Symmetra's right cli… https://t.co/bnwzbzIokm @SMWikiOfficial edited on the translations because this comic deserves it https://t.co/5b4kspFHbc
Retweeted by TaufThis reeks of nepotism. Why is nobody else talking about this? https://t.co/XZqOqyUXWo @TJxBTL the final boss music. The counter ticking up. The guy on the couch narrating what they need to do. The scre… https://t.co/NWC1ZmxlvIYou might think I'm not emotional but you haven't seen me try and hold back tears at work as I'm watching the VOD f… https://t.co/AbaYyUGvTRI want a spinoff of Charlie’s angels called Charlie’s chris’ and it’s chris hemsworth, Chris Evans and Chris pine w… https://t.co/jtR4RC5uFE
Retweeted by TaufWatching @patrickklepek and he's doing one of my favorite things: pausing the moment you die or know you're dead an… https://t.co/PTRJM6TehKhttps://t.co/UnaUJ4NvoB @appleciderwitch @tylercolp happy birthday!
7/1
2019
give me the succotashhttps://t.co/OFDSZdPFdd
Retweeted by Tauf
6/28
2019
Maybe...just maybe...a constitution written 250 years ago by rich white men who couldn't possibly imagine what life… https://t.co/q86IWDqfZ2why does teen Jonathan PropertyBrother look like adult John Mulaney
6/27
2019

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