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'I mean, when you really need to go to the bathroom, you shouldn’t have to push P. Diddy out of the way to pee.' - Shocked Board Member

387 Following   294 Followers   2,519 Tweets

Joined Twitter 3/16/09


@GirlInterrupter I'm so glad I learned this news through you, and this xx
6/30
2020
Retailers’ names for their fake Colin the Caterpillar cakes: Tesco - Curly Sainsbury’s - Wiggles Asda - Clyde Morr… https://t.co/J5B7zGBOkP
Retweeted by LisaI feel like Krispy Kreme have had their spirits dampened. I don't even mind that they can't spell London, I just wa… https://t.co/zkBpjU04Gr
6/27
2020
@markarnot 😱
6/24
2020
@jonesgarethp Give this its own Twitter account!
6/17
2020
@GirlInterrupter Oh sorry I see you already said that ♥️ @GirlInterrupter I'm sorry that happened. Remember not to click on the Daily Mail ever again xx
6/7
2020
just to be clear about the lifting of lockdown restrictions, from Monday you can travel as far as you want DIAGONAL… https://t.co/ROSl1bZ3Lw
Retweeted by Lisa
6/5
2020
This is the first thing you see when you enter hell https://t.co/Zfj0uzygT2
Retweeted by Lisa
6/3
2020
Last night I dreamed they changed the slogan to "STAY ALERT --> YOU ARE THE VIRUS." Which would be quite a twist to this long, messy plot.
5/29
2020
@jocotterillbook Right back at you! 👊I edited a thing! A lovely thing! https://t.co/Lq01CWOwVW
5/28
2020
@dinosaurrparty That sounds exactly right ♥️ @dinosaurrparty Is there anything special we can do to remember him? What did he like to eat? xx
5/24
2020
@RobynVinter It was in Poundland and it was so weird https://t.co/zLw7VoqwrP
5/16
2020
@dinosaurrparty 💕
5/11
2020
@hollygramazio Holly this was a great read! With a very satisfying ending.
5/9
2020
@DrSFink Congrats Sarah! How lucky they are to have you ♥️
5/7
2020
This is tonight, friends. Please come along! We've worked really hard on the tech and we're getting closer and clos… https://t.co/O77sXf7FZp
Retweeted by Lisa
5/1
2020
@willjennings80 I thought they might be show balconies to entice me to live there. Some of the furniture is repeated... @willjennings80 I am very nosey about the balconies of SE11 / SE17, and I have never ever seen anyone on those yellow ones. Did you?Business as usual, thank the lord! https://t.co/PIiYrb0xvF
4/29
2020
@karaspita Ding ding ding correct answer 🥉
4/28
2020
@Aosher But they're saying 'Look here! Buy our unadulterated flakes! NOT those rival ones over there dipped in custard!' @Aosher When encased in double cream? @huckabaloo That means so much coming from you. @teamjude IKR @uppi17 That's a good one. Another one for the list! @craigtherage I let that slide, cos it IS v. impressive @craigtherage YOU GOT 2 OUT OF 3! @dinosaurrparty I let that one go! I've got 3 problems additional to the o!!!How many problems do YOU have with this? I have THREE! (Clue: none of them is me objecting to a thing being gluten… https://t.co/skr0qfWNhT
4/27
2020
"Because of the unforced stay at home, and I don't know about you but we've had more traffic with, especially if yo… https://t.co/SC7ML7JQ9i
Retweeted by Lisa
4/19
2020
@Rio_Garcia 😱🍦
4/17
2020
@stevenperkins You can't take away my 🕵️
4/16
2020
Q is too high up in the alphabet. I respect it but it has no place between P and R. Should be at the end with the weirdo/goth letters
Retweeted by Lisa
3/29
2020
@stevenperkins Those make good bread and butter pudding
3/22
2020
@dinosaurrparty What if she can only say 'bye bye'? But can happily say it for 30 mins? @Rio_Garcia Only a sociopath would not be having stress cries ♥️ Also 4am overthinks.
3/20
2020
@stevenperkins At my first job interview in telly, they took a Polaroid of me for... reasons ...? @dinosaurrparty Pics plz @markkeady If I could work out how to separate baby from cat litter tray, that would be good. @markkeady Did you get one?? Genius conceptWhat problems were you googling two weeks ago that now seem adorable? I'll go first: 'cream cheese frosting ok overnight'
3/19
2020
Okay friends in isolation/quarantine, I am here for you with a THREAD of animal live cams:
Retweeted by Lisa @barneyronay It's becoming clear to me that not everyone follows the news, I think this is a big part of it. Counci… https://t.co/lsvzLJG596Idea: humans react to visual stimuli - if the authorities really expect people to stay inside, they need to put stu… https://t.co/fOdpcemgwn @JonDBarker @Bamalam @AdobeUK Didn't work for my yearly sub, actually cancelled 😬Hi! Here's a reminder that I have a Discord, Is Here, which is open to everyone and may be useful if you're bored,… https://t.co/xpj9dIdZzf
Retweeted by Lisa
3/18
2020
This is ok for me, we will make other plans; but I don't want others - who don't have choices - to get a shock.Sorry to be an Ocado bore, but just wanna warn people not to rely on it working. I've been through the virtual queu… https://t.co/Bnm29dMYCG
3/17
2020
@dinosaurrparty I could be wrong, but seems that way @dinosaurrparty Or are thermometers just really inaccurate and bad?
3/16
2020
You guys, get busy; I'll expect your groundbreaking works-of-confinement-art by April! 4/4To entertain themselves, the group challenged each other to write ghost stories. One of the friends, Mary Shelley,… https://t.co/xfXJCcgDXEThe grim weather messed up the holiday plans of a group of friends visiting Geneva, who found themselves isolated i… https://t.co/epvrM2MkLVHere is a fact I've always found delightful: in 1815, the eruption of an Indonesian volcano had such a profound eff… https://t.co/JTMboetFMq
3/13
2020
@dinosaurrparty I read this as "I get really bad colds", and I was like oh nooooo Sarah buys all the meds for Ste a… https://t.co/ntfTENgeAS
3/12
2020
I mean you *could* wash your hands for as long as it takes to sing 'Happy Birthday' all the way through, twice. Bu… https://t.co/w4GLYVHi66
2/29
2020
@plentyspace Get better soon ♥️ Was just thinking today that I'd love to see you @dinosaurrparty It's just part of your origin story for turning you into SuperSarah! Londonee extraordinare!
2/28
2020
@robertpopper Bee Geese
2/26
2020
@markarnot 😆
2/18
2020
The 29th Day of Christmas is so bleak ughh https://t.co/dcYe2sq35L @markarnot Ok I dreamed about the actor who follows us around, except I combined him with Prince Harry
1/22
2020
@sainsburys Hello, how do I contact you about some problems with a grocery order delivered to me yesterday?
1/17
2020
@dinosaurrparty How beautifully phrased!
1/14
2020
@markarnot Yes why is he obsessed with us
1/12
2020
@markarnot Oh man that film is good
1/11
2020
@avvisavv I took a baby with me so was re-applying her socks for 135 minutes @avvisavv What did you do for the other 45 minutes?
1/10
2020
@markarnot 😆
1/9
2020
@dinosaurrparty Of course!Thank goodness there are places out there that still celebrate the magical 15th Day of Christmas 🎄🎅⛄… https://t.co/J5wEpkHPyU
1/8
2020
@FlyingTigerUK Hi, still waiting for someone to reply to me, I wrote to you on Dec 26th - reference CUS0053020
1/5
2020
Thanks to @dinosaurrparty for sending me running towards this movie. (Sorry about the typo.) https://t.co/t7jkvYT6ix
1/3
2020
@dinosaurrparty Ohhhhh we need to discuss this in our next chat
1/2
2019
In which I worry about a sleepy ex-teen idol https://t.co/WgtxVlJoQL
12/26
2019
@dinosaurrparty Oops and ARTY duh @dinosaurrparty I didn't see this 😢 but I hope it has turned into a wonderfully squishy friendly day ♥️ @plentyspace I'm afraid that's a very short-sighted idea
12/18
2019
@DrSFink Same ♥️
12/11
2019
@zieatron Hope you have a wonderful night ♥️♥️
12/8
2019
A memoir piece I’ve written in today’s ⁦@guardianweekend⁩ https://t.co/trz1SLW24E
Retweeted by Lisa
12/7
2019
@dinosaurrparty Onwards and upwards! 🍰 @dinosaurrparty Is it open yet?? Pics plz
12/6
2019
THREAD! Here come all the juicy, juicy spoilers for "Christmas Scavenger Hunt" (Hallmark Channel, 2019) https://t.co/40QpExQznU
Retweeted by Lisa @steishere @markarnot @craigtherage So what you're saying is I should fret about the word MANSHIRT for the next few days
12/1
2019
@dinosaurrparty Sarah. Has anyone told you today that you are the BEST person? ♥️It's the most hackneyed time of the year! 🎄☃️ 💏 https://t.co/0ttQImOQX9 @philandteds Hello, please help me find out what's happened to an order I made over a week ago, which seems not to have shipped.
11/27
2019
I have lived for nearly four decades and seen many curious things; none flummoxed me for as long as the word MANSHI… https://t.co/gjNsBexMyW
11/26
2019
@jameshmm I'm not sure why this one makes me sadder than the usual ones 😢
11/24
2019
Untogether, the film I wrote and directed, is screening at 8pm tomorrow at the Everyman Kings Cross as part of… https://t.co/ciBGNeYn33
Retweeted by Lisa
11/19
2019
@dinosaurrparty https://t.co/0b6T4trd72A pair of binoculars tumble poetically into a young river Jonny Depp plugs an electric guitar into a cactus and pl… https://t.co/SCVfvIU51Z
Retweeted by Lisa @dinosaurrparty James Q. Jewbert?? This is the best. FYI I call my child Alicia Curranstein v. regularly
11/14
2019
why does the banana not have a girlfreind? because he is too misterious
Retweeted by Lisa
11/12
2019
@dinosaurrparty Pawdium
11/3
2019
@plentyspace 1. Thank you, you're pretty great yourself 2. I'm working on a new format, will reveal all soon 😲🎄☃️
11/1
2019

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