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cute | funny | delusional | Craw Me Daddy

543 Following   2,114 Followers   14,350 Tweets

Joined Twitter 11/8/17

@Braves_Dude @DisneyCPT 58. Math are hard. @HufflepuffLolo @TweetinJoshBe Tell me why i shouldn’t. @bennybragan @jakob_jarecki @bby_kays Watch your mouth. That was my favorite car. @AaronCelli @jakob_jarecki @bby_kays 2005 me and 2020 you having the same amount of sex @jakob_jarecki @bby_kays The only thing that kept me from knocking up anyone sooner was being fat and ugly. @bby_kays My brand has been my brand for a long time. @bby_kays Back of my 1999 explorer sport. The year was 2006. I was a 20 year old college junior. She was pregnant 3 months later.Obsessed much? It shouldn't be this easy to distract the President of the United States.
Retweeted by Terrance Avery @branflakes4evr I support this decision
@SRoseesq @milphilosophy I agree. I think if we can punish folks for being partisan in uniform we should also be able to hold… @milphilosophy Oh for sure. There’s others that are less harmful (i.e. Kinzinger) but I do think we should force to… @milphilosophy I think there is a difference. Someone on TV talking about policy isn’t creating it (usually). So, I… @milphilosophy Then we’d have to kick out all the part timers who are in Congress. @bennybragan @cbirch15 @vivianbragan “Just remember, human style isn’t a thing” the dog sneers as he’s kicked off the bed. @bennybragan @vivianbragan There is very little I hate more about being a pet owner than middle of the night licking sounds. @SRoseesq What delightful nerds @jeremy_BAY @AngryCane Even hit targets sometimes @jkass99 Tough but fair. @jkass99 Hi joe, first time long time. What if I’m a centrist but also a veteran who deployed BUT did not nothing w… @goat_path It’s just right there. It would be irresponsible not to.Ted Cruz watching fellow senators bang tables @bernaert1776 Love that. I’ll intersperse anywhere between 3-5 diet dr peppers in throughout the day. Just to change it up. @Armyofbill I’m a veteran of the sleepy gummies. They don’t work anymore, unfortunatelyI will be up in 5 1/2 hours to get all 4 of my kids out the door by 7. I will drink a sugar free Red Bull while my…, a terrible thing about me is sometimes I’ll fall asleep at a decent time but only sleep for 30 minutes and th… @merii3 Adds *check so I can roast it with Meri* to tomorrow’s checklist @PlunkettPrime @merii3 The Full Kit and Kabu(ta)l: The Mayor Pete Story @merii3 @PlunkettPrime Wow no need to bring them into this. @merii3 @PlunkettPrime Listen, we should all be very impressed with ourselves for doing something 1.5 million other people have also done. @Easybakeoven9 @miketheredleg @Accidental_E9 On the rare occasion I go on post in uniform I like to hand them my de… @miketheredleg @Accidental_E9 “Big guy” “boss man” “killer” etc and so forth
@branflakes4evr @ritchydoesit *giggles in dependent ID card* @PhotoFettBH Lol. I did this for the first time in 2019. It’s a whole mood. @SRoseesq Imagine dating a woman you can’t take the bar because *check notes* she doesn’t have a reference for how small your dick is @S1Your I'm completely void of any technical skills. @S1Your I'm a remarkably good interviewee @S1Your If I can get someone on the phone or in person I like my chances of at least tricking them into hiring me for my personality. @willkepley I’m very approachableAn email I've received no fewer than 65,304 times in the last month: "Hey Terrance, Thanks for reaching out. We u… @SRoseesq uhh seems that way. I did my own and the provider actually said "wow whoever did this had no idea what t… @oneminutecall @_BryceJohnson @LadyLovesTaft "hey you want to check this NAI for me" "yeah sure what is it" "my dick lol" @SRoseesq bruh who filed your claim @TomHeartsTanks @oneminutecall @LadyLovesTaft late night chats with whoever was running Pyramid's mIRC window just to stay awake. love it @oneminutecall @LadyLovesTaft Do they even use it anymore? Like, do people realize that a command prompt looking ch… @oneminutecall @LadyLovesTaft 9 lines and booty calls. mIRC chat all day e’er day @fiveminutepizza @RCSez @maverickf48 @HamiltonBurger That hasn’t had any movement in the NC house in almost a year. @fiveminutepizza @maverickf48 @HamiltonBurger @RCSez One of the more ironic things is most gun clubs and ranges wou… @maverickf48 @HamiltonBurger @RCSez Please cite where in the three laws passed by the Virginia senate would do this… 2020: Get Off My Bed If You’re Going To Lick Your Asshole @S1Your @mikejason73 @oneminutecall Who would do that shit. @SagTemp @MikeBlack114 @donachaidh @ProDylanRoberts Whatever you know what I mean. I hope you meet him profession… @MikeBlack114 @donachaidh @ProDylanRoberts Southern baptist preacher. Air Force Reserve Chaplain. One in the same. @donachaidh @MikeBlack114 @ProDylanRoberts I would love to see someone like Schatz question Doug Collins. It won’t… @AvgPolegrl If it’s in Tik Tok it’s stolen. @saltydragon6 Mine only works when it’s plugged inI’ve spent a lot of time on Tik Tok today and it’s a lot like twitter except on Tik Tok everyone knows when you’re stealing content.
@MichaelStahlke Ugh fine. Deleted @stout762 Correct. Nearly every single gun accident is preventable with basic gun safety. Especially with newer guns and ammo. @BK_Buckeye It’s a good plan if everyone hates it. @SRoseesq @silver_shots I like talking about reasonable gun control while also knowing I could dust all the “but muh guns” types in a 2-gun. @SRoseesq @TweetinJoshBe Just trying to chlorinate the gene pool as it were @SRoseesq @TweetinJoshBe Not always @ritchydoesit Exactly. Plan the build of the compound and high five the builder. Escape to the Caribbean for like 3… @ritchydoesit My cocaine habit would be as immediate as it was expensive. @NicolaIsNotABot I would love a mandatory storage minimum but that’s unrealistic. That’s why I favor very harsh pen… @Sunnie5274 For concealed carry I agree. I don’t think qualification should be required for ownership. A safety cl… gun rights marchers really shouldn’t have hired the same military consultant as The Code @CJ_usawtfm Thomas Jefferson raped a woman he owned. @TonyAggie College Option OCS grads (the latter in your tweet) learn a lot about how to be a very good infantry team leader.“But Terrance you libtard dummy, this won’t prevent mass shootings tomorrow” You’re absolutely right. But it migh… responsible ownership platform: - universal background checks - federal licensing and registration - zero tole… @sadxgorlx @TomHeartsTanks I said I’ve shot mine... @TomHeartsTanks Little do you know I’m sitting in my house with some cut off UCP pants, a plate carrier two sizes t… @ametonym @bungdan There might be some that aren’t but I’d guess most are. Take this guy. You can see that he has r…’m a proponent of responsible gun ownership. Marching down the street at the low ready with loaded carbines beca… @branflakes4evr I was just thinking a arty sim to the middle of this cluster fuck would be an interesting social experiment. @DisneyCPT An actual inverted penis.If you’re pressed that I didn’t respond to you after you replied to one of my tweets: - a lot of my posts are “fire…
Retweeted by Terrance Avery @sadxgorlx @branflakes4evr I’m a messy bitch @LostLT1 This is the saddest LT bedroom
@AvgPolegrl Please. I’ve had sex before @lysscrawfood all day every day. @TonyAggie My big torii was broken in a PCS @TonyAggie @TonyAggie Hey. Shut up. @grossap That’s not true. At all. @pooleejones Own the take.On one my kids could commit actual murder and I’d be more mad at the one who tattled. @wingoz There isn’t a more fun 4 blocks in America than broadway on a Saturday. @ChemicalFire @TonyAggie And tomorrow is a DONSA?! So much potential. @ripvanstinkle_ Gross @tri5hastewart #networking @MeganJantos @Diana_Prince_ The Georgia O’Keeffe Brunch Special @9coacheswaiting @MeganJantos I have four children and the baby has hand foot and mouth disease. I’m not going anywhere. @TheTrueJFK Yes, sorry.We are not the same @pwagman No. Use or lose. No carry forward.