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Engineer, game dev, level designer, musician, wiseass. Formerly on The Walking Dead @ Disruptor Beam, Firefall @ Red 5 Studios. Chaotic good. He/him.

352 Following   1,262 Followers   34,955 Tweets

Joined Twitter 12/2/08

every broadway show should be filmed. they should also use different camera set ups all around the stage, and film…
Retweeted by Dan Jordan @Burrito_Tim That's so noble @Burrito_Tim That's the thing about testosterone: if you get ANY of it in your body you become jacked to hell. As a dude, I know this well.Nice
@brockwilbur What I'm saying is that he'd either be playing Nirvana's Heart-Shaped Box, Pearl Jam's Rooster, or Stone Temple Pilot's Plush @brockwilbur Johnny B. Goode was released in 1958, three years after the climactic dance and 27 years before Marty… @brockwilbur [podcast commercial] Let me tell you, quarantine life has been so much more enjoyable since getting my… @Iiboharz Yeah, I imagine it becomes a vicious cycle you don't even realize you're in @cathroon I hope whoever writes my obituary calls me out for it too @Iiboharz I think the Internet affords too many people the ability to surround themselves purely with similarly ter… who thinks "leading lines" are meaningful for directing the player's movement or vision should be expelled @cathroon Just tag me next time @vincexsteel In the future every person will be acquired and shut down by EAOh you're a fan of video games? Name 3 studios that shut downguy who invented checks: write the number in English words first, followed by a fraction, then make sure to draw a…
Retweeted by Dan JordanTechnical artists be like "I know a place" and take you to a patch of terrain with a rock half-buried in it, their… @Iiboharz Proooobably via @joewintergreenOne of the very first games I tried to make on my own was a cartoonish 3D platformer focused on puzzles and upward… new audio systems for music and ambience that make it 1000x easier to add new tracks to environments, plu… @Nican Why isn't the mascot for Linux a fucking lynx? @TafferKing451 [an old warbling cover of Superman starts playing from a phonograph] @WritNelson Look. There's two things gamers love: birds and grappling hooks. My plan-- [giant bags with dollar signs fall into my desk]
A survival game where you have to learn all your crafting recipes from in-game youtube videos on your in-game phone @johnnemann If I ever emailed friends a URL they would instantly know I'd been kidnapped @craigperko I've spent the morning refactoring a system I refactored before after refactoring it earlier @ItsNotewell Yeah, I just feel like it's a limitation because subtlety is one of his strong suits. @docsquiddy I always want people to yell at me that I'm doing something poorly. I already know but it helps to have confirmation.Look, I know this really isn't the most important thing, but the Lone Ranger wore a mask over his eyes. is quite interesting. Dude's a hell of an actor but I somehow don't imagine his performance style would transl…'m averse to starting serious conversations with panic-inducing phrases like "Can we talk about something?", but i… @longwall26 It's his manuscript nowImagine being as rich as Jeff Bezos and not becoming the Sausage King of ChicagoEveryone's making beautiful texture art and I'm like "how do I make a [waves my hands and makes a wub-wub sorta sound]" @bombsfall No. I refuse to hear alternate theories now @brockwilbur MPAA Exec #1: Well we now have this new "PG-13" rating for MPAA Exec #2: Rate it Gwhat was it like growing up in America? well we played in a lot of Officer Big Mac jails
Retweeted by Dan Jordan @joewintergreen I think the cool kids use deadjournal @WritNelson @feralvector This is radiating some "founding a new religion" energy @hahahakumakichi I'm going to level with you: none of this should be legalWife: do you want to watch the anime where the guy's head is a gun? Me: [several minutes of sighing] @jellencamara You fool @Enichan I need to lie downEveryone's like "2020 is half done" as if they think 2021 is going to be better
I couldn't make a living doing all the other things I enjoy @TurfsterNTE RIP teens trying to switch away from pornwhat do you MEAN most coworkers dont know me very well or interact with me at all @Burrito_Tim It's a solid play on words that I had completely missed until you pointed it outCoworker: Why weren't you on zoom for the company celebration? Me, head down working: the what @Burrito_Tim Preemptively seeking forgiveness for when I inevitably vent againI've typed up and deleted like 15 different tweets today that were probably too self-deprecating or straight-up whi… @JustBrogrammer Thank you, Kirk. I knew I could rely on you in these trying timesA little devil appears on my shoulder. "Make another TF2 map." @craigperko I respect the hustleI suspect I'll be messing around in Townscaper for quite a while @adurdin I have such a love/hate relationship with this game. It's got interesting puzzle mechanics and imperfect p… @CNNPolitics Wow, sounds like it's time to protest harder thenResigning my job in disgrace after telling my cat to "move your fat ass off my mouse" over a hot micWhenever I'm working on some long-term task, I inevitably end up getting frustrated with something else and deployi… @bombsfall Night in the Woods: more big cats than a safari!!!!Happy January 1st, everyone @the_Norberg @notimetoulose @leveldesignfm This pains me @geoffkeene When 3G fights 5G they cancel each other out and you're left with a harmless 2G @GameDesignDan That, as the kids say, 's my fetish @docsquiddy @WritNelson Modern marketing has taken a turnWhile I am a completionist, I'm not normally an achievement hunter. This achievement, however, I am very proud of. whole situation has taught me one indisputable truth: we need superpolice to police the normal police @loadingreadyrun @Graham_LRR @Matt_LRR I have been rewatching Dr No for *decades* without ever realizing the tarant…
@mitchellvii lol sucks to be you @longwall26 The Lone Ranger The Lone Warrior The Lone MageWhen someone doesn't like an indie game they're like "it sucks, whatever." When someone doesn't like a major AAA r… anyone else had a constant headache for the past 10 years?I just flew into a jealous rage and boy are my arms tired! @lizaledwards You don't cry in all caps nearly often enough @marc_laidlaw How else will we make a mewthree?When does The Last Of Us Part 3 come out?
@johnnemann Oh that's not my experience. I definitely see it on tables in non-fish restaurants and diners intended for fries. @johnnemann Rhode Island occasionally has malt vinegarI think every state that's reopening now should shut down, sit tight for two months, and then just open up again ju… @craigperko Hold on while I do the math on the average lifespan of a non-electric car on the road and oh look at th… @adurdin Such a good movie @craigperko 50% of cars *sold* by... 15 years from now seems... inadequate?[presses play on music that has been paused for 5 hours] @MitjaRoskaric Level designers be like "I know a spot" and then show it to you from three different vantage points on the way there @TurfsterNTE We should know by now that there are many bad people in the world a nightmare that I needed to have a game build ready for people to play TODAY!1IT ME have put 58,000 hours into Mario Kart 64Dishonored took most people 12 hours but I sunk a cool 24. Just, like, do that for imsims, I guess.Portal is three hours long. Boom, there's your perfect puzzle game length.The correct length of a video game is dictated by its genre. Half-Life 2: Episode 2 and Titanfall 2 are both 6 hour… @dphrygian You're allowed at my birthday party @docsquiddy You pour the milk into a glass first THEN into the cereal (so the cereal doesn't get marginally soggier… @BuffTuffKRuff I'm actually dumber after having read this
This efficiently nails several feelings I've had over the past few months. In lieu of artistically fulfilling work,… the future everyone will have their 15 minutes of cancelled
Retweeted by Dan Jordan @longwall26 He's running @lizaledwards I'm almost scared to ask how many hours retopo-ing something like this takesThe world is ready for a sequel to shrimp you considered that the surly cashier at your grocery store might be Sacha Baron Cohen doing a bit? @dphrygian Wait, if you do that does it give you the end credits? Or do you just die and reload?