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Joined Twitter 1/13/18

@AJWILLIKERS resume: - bachelors and masters degree in accounting - dean’s list every semester - licensed certified public a… when you show them a vlookup for the first time you get a text from an unknown number after-hours:
Retweeted by TheBig4AccountantMy two brain cells arguing whether to capitalize or expense during FAR this morning:
Retweeted by TheBig4AccountantWhen my manager arrives at the client's office and asks "How are we doing?" @TheBig4Tweets
Retweeted by TheBig4Accountantwhat’s something you can say during sex but also when you manage a brand twitter account?
Retweeted by TheBig4AccountantFinance: “can you please remove this from the expense account to the balance sheet as pending capitalization?” Me…
Retweeted by TheBig4AccountanttHe sEcrET tO dOmiNatINg tAx sEasoN No oNe wIlL TeLl yOu abOuT
Retweeted by TheBig4Accountant
@sydball 115k might be the record hereWhen it comes to do-it-yourself accounting, tax, and estate planning, the words “can” and “should” mean two very di…
Retweeted by TheBig4Accountant @taxchic_k @Average_Beau_ I wish I could double tweet this @NYMike1991 I tried Apple Music but can’t stand the user interface @fabiolaaa1_ 😂 @n_noctis i am as basic as they come my friend @TheRealCogan 90k is the most I’ve seen now, Jesus lolmurderer: [cocking gun] any last words me: if the earth is dying, why don’t we depreciate land? murderer: [putting down gun] holy shithere’s mine your spotify wrapped ⤵️ curious to see what all the accountants listen tome: *sends work to manager for review thinking I did a great job* review notes: are u in the right headspace to r… it out and doing it correctly are two different things do people act like a high school class on personal income taxes would have taught them how to fill out their 10…'s making a spreadsheet. he's sorting it twice. *Data* *filter*. behavior = 'nice' Excel Clause is comin' to town
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@ForemanTaxLaw hahaha just saw it, missed it. actually a tax accountant though 🧙🏻‍♂️“except as otherwise..”“unless...”when you’re doing accounting or tax research and think you found the answer @aperry23x nopewhen you’re in the christmas spirit but busy season starts in less than a month people ask me how my accounting job is going Capital Expense Expense you were one GL account, which one would you be? @siinchi 💀really goes in at the 28 sec mark- balance sheet check = 0.00 ✅ - opening retained earnings agrees to prior year ✅ - trial balance agrees to the fin… @B_Bain jus laughed out loud lolname something you can say in the office and also during sex @mghowssi @ashley_kinga @imzackcain @keplerniko
what interns want: fraud what auditors want: a quick, fast and easy auditmanager: any update on the workpapers? I’d like to start reviewing later this afternoon. me: *hasnt even started t… benefit of public accounting is if you work a 15 hour day, they buy you a $17 salad.NASBA: are you in the right headspace to receive information that can possibly hurt you right now? me: no, but go… wine pairs best with depreciationmy client after dodging my meeting requests and sneaking out early scavenger hunt but for unrecorded liabilitiesaccounting professor ready to explain debits and credits to my dumbass for the 3rd time’m gonna tell my kids this was artificial intelligence
Retweeted by TheBig4Accountanteveryone: married, 2-3 kids me: single, 50-100 review notes*client sends updated trial balance*
any task can take 8 hours if you try hard enough - interns23 days until 24 days until Christmas Busy Season make the best (free) therapistsi need that edit tweet button @TwitterIf you didn’t document it, it didn’t happen.” me: SAID THIS ENGAGEMENT it is different WOULD BE it’s worse DIFFERENT and the intern trying to explain to the manager what the client just told us
crush: you were in my dream last night me: oh yeah? crush: haha yeah, you were doing my taxes, it was weird me:Girl: [flirting] do you have any wild fantasies? Me: client to send me the support i requested Girl: no I mean li… is like an onion. the more layers you peel back, the more you cry.The objectives of the auditor are to: my brain: don’t say it don’t say it don’t say it don’t say it don’t say… Googling stuff online doesn’t make you a doctor Accountants:“On the eighth day, God separated the debits from the credits.” Genesis 1:36 @cpaesquilin 😂😩 [flirting] so do you have any wild fantasies? me: a spreadsheet that imports my bank feed daily, categorizes…
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Birth Control Effectiveness: Condoms - 99% Birth Control - 99% “I’m an Accountant” - 100%friend: any New Years Eve plans? me: probably an inventory count, you?marrying someone is like finally issuing an unqualified opinion, except over 50% of audits don’t lead to misstatements.*Ok I’m ready for the cpa exam* 1st question: The objectives of the auditor are to: me:[partner meeting] "we should release a survey to our employees to see what we can do to make this a better place t… this just sum those numbers really quick Coworker: =B5+B6+B7 Me:
Retweeted by TheBig4Accountantwork life balance sheetshappiness is debits = creditswhen the senior stops by to answer all my questions
“If you stare at a liability long enough, it becomes an asset.”
Retweeted by TheBig4Accountantme as a staff approaching the controller of a Fortune 500 company to get an update on the open items, hoping they d…"I found out my colleague made a spreadsheet by calculating sums using a physical calculator and manually entering results in each cell."
Retweeted by TheBig4Accountanttherapy: expensive venting to your favorite coworkers via skype as soon as someone pisses you off: freeaudit and tax people arguing over which one is better Friday Special: work & study all day and save 100% @samanthangv
“Accounting doesn’t save lives, it takes lives.”
Retweeted by TheBig4Accountantwelcome to accounting I recommend the extra soft Kleenexme waiting for my family to stop talking so I can tell them I don’t know anything about tax, nor audit for that mat… that I’m thankful for: 1. Double-entry accounting 2. Prior year workpapers 3. Managers and seniors that cle… drinking game for accountants take a shot every time a family member asks: - if they can deduct *ins… [doctor]: I discharged a woman who had stage 5 cancer Wife [accountant]: oh, well my error wasn’t materialsuper quick question what the fuck is a derivative
me: you can’t depreciate land client: why me: idk the technical stuff dude ya just can’twhen you’re typing out a long excel formula in front of the staff and it works first try rude how I wasn’t born smart enough to be a doctorFlight attendant: Is there a doctor on this flight? Dad: *nudging me* that should've been you Me: Not now Dad Da…
Retweeted by TheBig4AccountantFlight attendant: Is there a doctor on this flight? Dad: *nudging me* that should've been you Me: Not now Dad Da…
Retweeted by TheBig4Accountant
[4 pm] manager: [5 pm] manager: [6 pm] me: *shuts down laptop, unzips bag* manager: do you mind just clearin… for the realizing you client to send never sent the the support… calc Hogwarts house is BDO?