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Comedian, talk show host and ice road trucker. My tweets are real, and they’re spectacular.

35,822 Following   78,007,875 Followers   16,753 Tweets

Joined Twitter 8/14/08


Good luck tonight, @Kelly_Clarkson. You’re gonna do a great job hosting the Billboard Music Awards. Bring me back something nice. #BBMAsHappy birthday, Mama. ❤️
5/20
2018
@cavs @CavsScreamTeam He appears to be a good luck charm for you tonight..@BTS_twt was here this week and left behind some #BBMAs tickets. Here’s your chance to go! https://t.co/Qn9daIchzE.@theKalenAllen had a lot to say about the #RoyalWedding this weekend. https://t.co/gexBFFW8MqHappy birthday, @samsmithworld! I hope you have a year filled with joy and an album filled with heartbreak.Just kidding. I had a wonderful morning. #RoyalWedding https://t.co/cklp0rKkl0Happy Saturday! I can’t believe I slept so late. Did I miss anything?
5/19
2018
Thank you, @JJWatt for going above and beyond for the families of Santa Fe, Texas. I love you. https://t.co/y7qlg8DsstIt’s #EndangeredSpeciesDay! @KevinLemanII @jimmykimmel @EDWildlifeFund https://t.co/76y80dzSXMI could watch Andy Zenor give Jason flowers all day. Watch the full clip here: https://t.co/tJbdk0jHiE https://t.co/So2hLRhEoeGuess who’s here one week from today? @BTS_twt #BTSxEllen #FakeLove https://t.co/al35jePgvFThe dancers of The LAB are incredibly adorably incredible. Watch the full clip here: https://t.co/lm1vJ5pm8z https://t.co/YPqzzaqwOOThanks to our friends at Buick, #tWitchplease Help Me Dance premieres today! I love @official_tWitch so much. You’r… https://t.co/BYwquSigMwI’m not sure Jason Bateman understands how this game works. @batemanjason https://t.co/2pHhK9Z2CNMaking celebrities say what I want in hidden camera pranks is really fun. https://t.co/xMSYFRzFQuI think you’ll agree why I should have been invited to the #RoyalWedding. Watch the full clip here:… https://t.co/qHTyj3a10oSending all of my love to the students and families in Santa Fe, Texas. We can do better than this. We must do better than this.
5/18
2018
Sandra Bullock answered all of my #BurningQuestions, but who she wants to do a love scene with is my favorite answe… https://t.co/B7mGojOg2UI showed the audience the lighter than air feeling of wearing Olay Whips SPF. With chocolate sauce. #ThanksSponsorhttps://t.co/CtjejmqpxnSandra Bullock told me a secret about her kids. I hope they’re not watching. P.S. I know they’re watching. https://t.co/sA3Qqavf2a.@ShawnMendes trying to talk to Prince Harry is all of us. Watch the full clip here: https://t.co/UMxRerKR4M https://t.co/VxS556TY4tHey, California, wanna make a difference? There are only a few days left to register before the primaries. Go do it. https://t.co/L1bK3akUyUSome people hear Laurel. Other people are wrong. https://t.co/OMGFO9L89ECongratulations to @ChrissyTeigen and @JohnLegend on your new baby! He's sure to be a Legend. https://t.co/GRm9b9yqJZI should’ve never asked Sandra Bullock about her skincare routine. Watch the full clip here:… https://t.co/q8TwyH8hc6
5/17
2018
@ShawnMendes x you right back.This dog can read?! https://t.co/eojmojBc4sJamie had a lot to do: 1. Clean my car, 2. Get my lunch, 3. Embarrass herself on national television. #ThanksSponsor https://t.co/ToILyEjjUuJeannie took six ladies from Iowa surfing for the first time. #ThanksSponsor https://t.co/CHytBFkPH4In my new game "Mr. Big Stuff," I do something we’ve all dreamed about... reuniting long-lost friends wearing fat s… https://t.co/G4zxgxGta3Who doesn’t want a tall glass of this Pink Lemonade? Thanks, @JamesBayMusic. https://t.co/siBZZCB0wHI am so proud of my wife. General Public Art is now for sale here. https://t.co/cqAlqtoDWcI’m so happy Bono and The Edge were finally here after 15 years. Bono said they wanted to be useful, so I made them… https://t.co/X385EmX0CkI’m not easy to surprise, but this surprised me. @arresteddev @EDWildlifeFund https://t.co/YWDbxRDfzl
5/16
2018
It’s time for #SplittingUpTogether. Go! Now! Why are you still reading this tweet?!Literally everything at my show just stopped to see if people hear Laurel or Yanny. I hear Laurel. https://t.co/efWRw1Gj0LHey #BTSARMY! If you’re in L.A., I’ve got some VIP tickets to watch @BTS_twt perform on my show. Want a chance to s… https://t.co/GgNadjf3YEI asked @Diane_Keaton the 3 places she’d like to touch a man. Each answer is better than the last. Watch the full… https://t.co/6nQY9WketdMy "Road to Riches" game is so much fun, but don’t take my word for it... ask this lady who just won iPads for the… https://t.co/l12BeKjmrB.@U2 are at a place called The Ellen Show. https://t.co/RtTIl08Wvj.@Diane_Keaton will not stop dancing. Watch the full clip here: https://t.co/2LNWftvRef https://t.co/BIhW9QWqcs#SplittingUpTogether is coming back for Season 2, and it’s on tonight! https://t.co/YzmyqNuKp1 @Diane_Keaton https://t.co/yRvs7CQclPBono and The Edge told me about starting @U2 in high school. I can’t imagine anything more special than having them… https://t.co/6O1AVfYuIgIt’s a Beautiful Day. @U2 https://t.co/5zwmQlF0ny
5/15
2018
Thanks @TheEllenShow and everyone who stepped up this weekend to continue the recovery efforts for the Santa Barbar… https://t.co/NAnLAkiiJ6
Retweeted by Ellen DeGeneres.@MsSarahPaulson is writing songs for @Rihanna. Watch the full clip here: https://t.co/IfcqQ6nzqU https://t.co/DBdfEvjJn2I made this guy in my audience try out some animal courting rituals. I’m not sure it worked. https://t.co/cONXYPUG1h https://t.co/H9edCMNfbQThe #royalwedding is this weekend! The royal wedding video hits the internet right after that. https://t.co/QNre8pjjkYDiana learned English watching my show. I’m glad she learned words like “thanks” and “car.” #ThanksSponsor https://t.co/k52I2SKW8T @Saints ❤️To scare @MsSarahPaulson again I had to think outside the box. And think inside the podium. Watch the full clip he… https://t.co/4e5DC6GmNoBrian McKenna brought love and joy to the world while personally enduring the most difficult circumstances. I’ll ne… https://t.co/yhpuQQYst2
5/14
2018
Sending love to all moms, and to everyone whose mom isn’t here to celebrate. You make your mama proud. I know it. #MothersDayBeing a mom isn’t easy. Take it from my friend, B-Dude. Happy #MothersDay, everyone! https://t.co/o3qDKZ4U3KHappy birthday, @StevieWonder and @StephenAtHome. You both make the world a better place. You’re also two of my favorite Stevies.Now this is what I call belly dancing. #MothersDay https://t.co/Ihl5dmVEjm @BradPaisley #BrellenDeGeneraisleyThese military moms did not see these surprise messages coming. #MothersDay https://t.co/1Kk9KGPi6H
5/13
2018
Thank you to everyone who came out to the Santa Barbara Bowl tonight to support #Montecito. I’m grateful for each o… https://t.co/DJwH5U1zyPIf you love great things and magical discounts, sign up for the Ellen Shop newsletter and get a 20% off coupon! https://t.co/u7LhBcyQ4uHere's the view from the Ellen DeGeneres Campus of the Dian Fossey Gorilla Fund. The same mountain where Dian Fosse… https://t.co/QieVmkxBQ7
5/12
2018
Things can get weird on my show. So what. #ThanksSponsor https://t.co/dbnz5Q19Q0I’m looking for a few good gamers. You could wind up like these lucky people – on my new season of #GameofGames.… https://t.co/l1enZeTNTX.@JaneFonda looks incredible. She told me why she never thought she’d make it to 80. Watch the full clip here:… https://t.co/dfCLHfIXVe.@FooFighters performing on my show makes me very happy. https://t.co/s8odcl8ymgIf you love watching Average Andy, I’m about to make your whole year. @andylassner Watch the full clip here:… https://t.co/Bl5qg2MF0N
5/11
2018
@foofighters I’ll say 🤘🤘🤘🤩 #11What can I say? I’m all about that bass. https://t.co/CJRovDyJEDIf there are 3 things I love, it’s Canadians, a good cause, and no-tie shoelaces. https://t.co/fdhnGP4U6w.@KymDouglas has some great mom tips you can try at home. Please don’t try these at home. https://t.co/dJjC1ZviLBJennifer Garner knew she was pregnant even though a doctor and a pregnancy test said she wasn’t. That’s what I call… https://t.co/DuBaI0ZYkSI love @theKalenAllen. I’m so glad we Met. https://t.co/9vSwyKlpiMThese first-time pregnant moms in my audience just got showered with thousands of dollars worth of giveaways that y… https://t.co/tvXHUHxInSPickle Boy is back! And so is my new lactation consultant, Ample Andy. @andylassner Watch the full clip here:… https://t.co/NC6BON4vjyMy #MothersDay monologue. https://t.co/YLDCHaRPbcHappy birthday, Bono! I’m so excited you’re coming to my show. Let me know if you need directions. Fortunately, the streets have names. @U2Jennifer Garner couldn’t put motherhood into words. But she could put it into song. Watch the full clip here:… https://t.co/APJQScFoKZ
5/10
2018
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