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Retired Janitor, efficient guitarist, pun master, notorious drunk, bleeding heart. possibly your next President

1,321 Following   8,833 Followers   12,580 Tweets

Joined Twitter 12/28/12


Today’s Daily Dose comes from @bronxovision and goes out to @Carolesca. This is the song that I always start my… https://t.co/8gYInJWkt7 @Kevkarlsen 😂 That is pretty cool. @Carolesca I played a whole bunch of them. I played over 2 hours worth of songs, mostly punk rock.
1/17
2020
@ZerlinaMaxwell Yes! Go Mom! @TVsTimStack I suddenly have “Camp Grenada” stuck in my head. @LouBrutus Anything for you, Lou. I’m looking forward to reading your book. I expect it’ll be amazing. @GeoffRBennett Kevin McCarthy is an idiot. #Idiot
1/15
2020
@DarrellK13 Yeah. I really love it. @MJMcKean Crimes @DarrellK13 They’re upgrading the pickups on my NDM4 & changing the name to the NDM5. They’re going to unveil it la… https://t.co/3iWFBNnjTG @katiehockl3y @itsjord_on That’s funny! Small world. @TokyoHiro_SKUNX 🤣 @Cptnrwrpnts I don’t know... I stub my toes a lot. 😖 @Eiggam5955 Adult diapers are a bitch to walk in. @clydetombaugh That’s some scary shit, Bean, but something every American should read if they care at all about the future of the Republic.I recognize Peter Pettigrew on the right. https://t.co/6acvsbIJqO @ThatEricAlper “When we put aside our differences, we see we’re kind of the same.” @TaylorComedy 😂😂😂 @funnybrad Yeah, Brad! Stoked for you and Jasmine. Congrats! @PeteParada 🤣🤣🤣This 💯 https://t.co/wFke9gWRIL
1/14
2020
@JohnFugelsang https://t.co/MOhPdvtIWp“Hey, @PeteParada, You’ve been in there an awful long time. Is everything alright?” https://t.co/A7TLB8CihtThis is always a rad event & the latest one was the best yet. I’m always proud to be part of it & am hoping to do i… https://t.co/fwXlmf67TtDefine “Weird.” https://t.co/3eYAfsIez7
1/13
2020
I can’t claim to be the world’s biggest Rush fan, tho I’ve always liked them, but Neil Peart’s passing makes me inc… https://t.co/0csGBxZsoaParenting done right! https://t.co/I6Xfda37CoDo any of you guys ever lift up the toilet seat to check for spiders before you sit down? https://t.co/6FUIBIDVFE @JensenKarp WHOOT WHOOT
1/12
2020
@TaylorComedy @offspring @TonyKanal That was a fun night. We’re going back to Japan in March if you’re around. 😀 @beckerink @blackflysusa Sweet! @DarrellK13 That’s a true story. 😂
1/10
2020
“The Aristocrats” https://t.co/VwkafgvhW5Today is all about the music. With that in mind, here’s your Daily Dose: https://t.co/cdSo1qavPB @ThatGirlChip I read that tweet in Darth Vader’s voice. https://t.co/SgTlLFTtju @atrupar He’s lying. @thehill Mark Meadows huffs paint.Any members of the @GOP who accuse Dems of “loving terrorists” & “mourning Suleimani” are dishonest & evil.… https://t.co/JOWkEIrw8W🤣🤣🤣 God, I love our fans! 🤣🤣🤣 https://t.co/7gBQAL7L2v @OffspringPeru 😂 @Charamber Agreed. 😃 @OhhhEmmy 🙏🏼Here’s another. https://t.co/hVZtFm6dcQ @ThatGirlChip @JohnHarkey5 @DylanPlayfair His hockey accent is on point!I saw a white-tailed kite on my hike today and, since I’m a terrible photographer, I decided to draw a picture of h… https://t.co/JPrUufWuYpIt was really good actually but I can understand how some of you wimps might not have been able to handle it. 💪🏄🏻‍♂️🏋️‍♂️🏆😂 @u_ulyatt I quit again on Monday. So far so good. 🤞
1/9
2020
@u_ulyatt I started last May or June to just try & lose a little weight. I did lose a little. Time to lose a little more. 🏃 🏋️‍♂️ 🏄🏻No, I mean it. All kidding aside. That man is not well.
Retweeted by Noodles For President! @u_ulyatt Notice the 🥚 in the recipe? I still eat eggs & seafood. @ThatGirlChip Everyone knows Noodles delivers! 😃Anyone else notice that @realDonaldTrump was out of breath & looking ill this morning? He seemed way worse than usual. #25thAmendmentNow
Retweeted by Noodles For President! @TaylorComedy @TheRock That is awesome! 👏👏👏Just made some breakfast fried rice with broccoli onion falafel & egg because I am a bad ass! #BadAssBreakfast @Cptnrwrpnts Hard pass. @lurie_john Yep.
1/8
2020
@Kathy_Valentine Happy Birthday. 🎊 @NikkiHaley Go fuck yourself, you evil lying piece of shit. #NoWarOnIran @Cptnrwrpnts https://t.co/UoZLKREbIq @DarrellK13 https://t.co/fmv2FVWM7I#TunesForTheApocalypse https://t.co/r6e7Ypky81
1/7
2020
Just because last night was so fun at the #TSOL show with the @thedickiesband, @pinataprotest, #Vulturas, &… https://t.co/iWNdYYblwMOur President is threatening war crimes in this tweet. How can good people pretend that this is normal? It is n… https://t.co/khSzBysi0D
1/6
2020
@KBAndersen @nytimes You’d think they would know who they were dealing with by now. Trump is an idiot. #Idiot @kasie @woodruffbets @MeetThePress @SecPompeo @MarkWarner @ewarren @PatMcCroryNC If they start lying, please tell t… https://t.co/EiBH8weOqo
1/5
2020
Daily Dose: https://t.co/oFMdMQ0uvR
1/4
2020
@thekevinryder @kevinmornings @kroq “...never give up.” https://t.co/Qz8otUnfk1As requested by followingmrnordstrom https://t.co/nyIzJOrQwz @Higgo74 Agreed. And alas...I was hoping that Franz Ferdinand was trending because they’re playing Coachella. Unfortunately that’s not the case. #FranzFerdinand #NoWarDaily Dose: https://t.co/cbTLTljj7N
1/3
2020
I keep forgetting that we’re running for President, but then I realize just how badly the country needs us. Don’t w… https://t.co/vUGiPLMqN8 @DaveWeasel We gotcha. https://t.co/EH3i8rJ3C7 @TVsTimStack 😂 @punkymilkshakes @OhhhEmmy Those are rad. CuteThulu is my new favorite thing. #CuteThulu @punkymilkshakes They are aware of other bands with the same name. I figure they’ll change it at some point, or per… https://t.co/d29Fog8nVNMy kid has once again asked me for #TSOL tickets. I’m stoked that one of his favorite bands is also one of mine.… https://t.co/bbRC60H6Xj @RalphGarman I’m so sorry to hear about your loss.Starting the new year with a fresh clean pair of pants on. It just seems right. #PantsChangingDay #HappyNewYear
1/2
2020
@Majinbrynhanbuu Hopefully!Before I do more damage to my cerebral cortex, I wanted to thank you all for an amazing 2019 & wish you all a very… https://t.co/Czgd9niSMO
1/1
2019
Except more like 50 😱Funny cuz it’s true. 🤣 https://t.co/sHieinuNNS @punkymilkshakes @OhhhEmmy @offspring @mattpinfield @pnut @joshstolberg @lloydkaufman @PeteParada @jason_blumhttps://t.co/8t6bO6vLYG @punkymilkshakes @toddsplanet @PeteParada Thanks. A blast was had by all. Even the audience. #WinWin
12/31
2019
@cperreault2 @offspring I can think of no better therapy. Heal quickly.Happy Birthday, Patti Smith. Daily Dose #2: https://t.co/D5wgPrgccf @realDonaldTrump CA’s homeless come from all over the country & you’re not even pretending to care. Mr. President,… https://t.co/DcvBDtHHmxRIP Neil Innes. Daily Dose: https://t.co/OpPoTJTu9g
12/30
2019
I had a really fun night tonight, but I’m so hammered that I don’t even know what to believe anymore. You can all h… https://t.co/JnNQmAYDVM @lurie_john @Comey @NeilLowenthal1 Where was “woke” James Comey when we needed him? ( @mikeherreraTD @mxpx @Tomwisniewski @YuriZane @chrisadkins253 @SnowCobra @tomisnotangry @jeredscott Happy New Year! @JensenKarp Epstein did it. @KatCorbett @FiestyChilean @OasisMunoz @alliemackay Sticker placement is so important. I mean that. Also, nice guitar.
12/29
2019
@alliemackay I ate left over Chinese food and I’m ready for bed. It’s 7:30.Yes! A vote for #ROCKABILLY is a vote for America! Best, SJP @littlesteven_ug @SIRIUSXM CHANNEL 21 Thanks… https://t.co/KGCNO2ZIjY
Retweeted by Noodles For President!
12/28
2019
They did. You blocked the witnesses and documents. https://t.co/bMPDhbagqo
Retweeted by Noodles For President!
12/27
2019
@RepGosar This tweet is a perfect example of just how mean and stupid the @GOP has become. It’s now wonder that t… https://t.co/mhIDciwTwjSeems about right. Daily Dose: https://t.co/M6izcAjplM
12/26
2019
@mie_blackcat Thank you, Nao. 🙏
12/25
2019

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