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Writer, director, high-functioning headcase. If you're unsure of my tone imagine me with a wry smile and a glass of wine. Buy my debut novel, Out of Love, now!

650 Following   224,975 Followers   41,238 Tweets

Joined Twitter 5/11/12

Got another for you... Imagine your worst school related memory is being made into a horror film. Reply with the ti…’s pretty unacceptable that ten years ago was ten years ago.
Retweeted by Hazel HayesThis is Henry. He's had a very long year. Wondering if he could come inside and open your package with you. 14/10 o…
Retweeted by Hazel Hayes
Alright folks. I wanna know what superpower you'd have wanted to help get you through 2020, and why? Top answers ar… cute. Send help. my God there she is in Wexford! If you've read it you'll know why this is extra special ☺️
T2 BABY![TRIGGER WARNING] #RoderickWalker is asked for his ID when his Lyft driver is pulled over by police. Mr. Walker que…
Retweeted by Hazel HayesI can’t believe it’s October
Retweeted by Hazel Hayes @PatrickFreyne1 YESI see so many apologetic "sorry I'm going to have to promote my book for a bit 🙈" tweets (including myself in the p…
Retweeted by Hazel Hayes @Ali_and_Macy Aw so cute! Hope you enjoy xx
My big guest tonight is the brilliant @TheHazelHayes - YouTuber, Director, Scriptwriter & Author - we talk about tr…
Retweeted by Hazel HayesWe're celebrating the recent paperback release of @DavidNWriter's #SweetSorrow & @TheHazelHayes #OutofLove with a g…
Retweeted by Hazel Hayes
Just half an hour until my insta live with @DavidNWriter! Kicking off at 7.30pm. Hop on over to… @AndreaSValls Thank you my love x
One of my followers kindly tried to reason with Ryan and got this in response. Pretty similar to what I got tbh. Fo… handles aren't showing because I was blocked btw. Also, please don't go sending hateful messages to Ryan. If yo… posted earlier about some #everydaysexism I had experienced without including details. I've decided to explain it… @modotpc Thank you for trying but unfortunately, "I'm sorry if you misinterpreted my actions" is not an apology. Genuinely thanks though x @BruellaDeville Good question, Danielle. Why ARE men?Yes this just happened to me and no it is not fucking okay. I. Am. Furious.A question of etiquette... Having just interviewed a woman on your podcast do you: A) Send an email to thank her fo… gatherings of more than six people are now illegal, but you can go to the pub maskless with five other people an…
Retweeted by Hazel HayesSo. @DavidNWriter is coming to my gaff on Thursday. No biggie. We're just gonna talk about one another's books. Tha…
Retweeted by Hazel HayesI'm making my first tentative steps onto Instagram this Thursday, hoping I don't accidentally influence anyone. You…
Retweeted by Hazel Hayes @DavidNWriter Don't worry, David. We'll be so incoherent that nobody could possibly be influenced either way. @DavidNWriter @HodderBooks @unbounders Oooh... Both please! Shall we just get pissed and make it a Tipsy Talk?
So. @DavidNWriter is coming to my gaff on Thursday. No biggie. We're just gonna talk about one another's books. Tha… @hankgreen Yes I do remember that one. Why?Banksy could never. @KatieSaraK I guess if it technically comes first in the structure of the narrative then it's foreshadowing? Maybe… pulled an Irish Goodbye on Twitter about two weeks ago. But I'm breaking my silence to say this... Don't fart on…
@Terri_White The best one in my opinion. And not a Russian in sight! @dodielondon There’s always tomorrow? LolThis changes everything WE ARE MAKING HEALTHY CHOICES EVEN THOUGH IT HURTS 👏🏻 LIKE 👏🏻 HELL👏🏻thinkin about chris pine do not disturb me
Retweeted by Hazel HayesDT/45 supporters are sharing this on FB. I don't have the desire to tell them than the man cloaked in white is Cha…
Retweeted by Hazel HayesCocaine is a hell of a drug
Retweeted by Hazel Hayesno harm like but god on the day of my creation must of been like 😂 what if i😂 what if I make his brain😂😂😂 feel like…
Retweeted by Hazel Hayes @rachelzegler ❤️❤️❤️would definitely wave back is your 2am reminder (but actually my 2am reminder, let’s be honest) that people project their unhealed trauma…
@iamnotlucymoon Light blue and greyHey, nerds! Who has two thumbs, speaks limited French and is seeing TENET tomorrow? This moi! anyone asks me what my quarantine has been like
Retweeted by Hazel HayesYour daily dose of joy. @Beedrill03 I had not. But now I have. Thank you.Ooooh. Interesting. Although I’d rather just know the colour without the descriptions influencing it. @HannahWhiston_ @ellenpenrose_ Red. Not sure the description here matches that but the colour is red. @RosiannaRojas So happy for you
can we talk about how tobey maguire continues to be ahead of his time
Retweeted by Hazel HayesJust wrote a lil post on insta about identifying the different types of pain we’re feeling. It’s based on something… @orlagartland What’s wrong with peoplePicard management tip: In an emergency, don't be afraid to let the crew see you in your pajamas.
Retweeted by Hazel HayesNot even my most ride-or-die friends have my back the way free-speech-warrior bros have the back of wildly abusive…
Retweeted by Hazel HayesWIAT THIS MEME HAD A FULL STORY?????????????
Retweeted by Hazel Hayesone of our dinosaurs loves to paint but the drawings look like shit so we just throw them away
Retweeted by Hazel Hayes @TheSonicScrew CODDLE FADDLEGo. Off. Dustin.’wan leave the whole country “breathless” from Covid because of your idiotic behaviour @Jimcorrsays 🖕🏼
Retweeted by Hazel Hayes @RosiannaRojas @lexcanroar Cannot wait for Batman to lead us in the summer, man.Watched the trailer for The Batman. Hard to follow but seems to be about a guy who violently beats criminals dresse…
Retweeted by Hazel Hayesbody dysmorphia is weird cos one day I’ll think I’m the epitome of sexy and the next day I’ll think I look like mike wazowski
Retweeted by Hazel Hayesfinally getting the unhinged, cry-wanking, Bright-Eyes-listening Batman we deserve
Retweeted by Hazel HayesThat, and, Coddle Faddle’s lookin well you’re super hung over but your friends drag you to brunch.
Retweeted by Hazel HayesThis is all I have to say re the new Batman trailer. for the girl whose ex-boyfriend is making front-facing comedy videos now and isn't quiiiite funny enough for it :(
Retweeted by Hazel Hayes
@EvanEdinger I really should’ve said girls just “wanna” instead of “want to”. I feel like that way people might hav… @peterbcaster dw it’s just a really hilarious joke about a thirty-seven year old Cindy Lauper song @robdelaney I keep reading this. @kjjacko @NotLikeTheCar bobosDon’t get me wrong, fun is great. But I think girls really just want to have meaningful relationships with people w… @DeanDobbs yep cool just checkingJedward over here talkin SENSE @DeanDobbs Is that guy in front of you @bertieglbrt? Or is he just like a metaphor?Young Dublin lad just stopped me at a tube station to ask directions and we quickly slipped into VERY IRISH banter.… daily dose of joy. @keynlok Crack on! @PatrickFreyne1 I have met several people who do this. It drives me absolutely fucking bonkers.This made me do a giggle I get weighed down by how awful the world is rn, it comforts me to think that this might just be the end of act II.this flex
Retweeted by Hazel Hayes @JazzaJohn Wow!
@alldayanydayy Better than ever.Pumpkin spice? Ya hearda this stuff? They’re puttin it in coffee and candles and shit? What’s next, fuckin, some o…
Retweeted by Hazel HayesEverything that will happen has already happened. And everything that has already happened had to happen that way.… @richardsim7 It’s called On The Nature of Daylight by Max Richter and it was used in a few movies before Arrival. I… @RosieisaHolt I fear to think where we’d be without all these men around to tell us things. @RosieisaHolt I’m embarrassed for you honestlyoh! you might be confused. these are actually photographs of different people.
Retweeted by Hazel HayesThanks Twitter Folk! Arrival it is. The opening bars of that beautiful score just kicked in and I’m already in tear… can’t wait to see you again MARRIAGE: part of your knee was on my side of the bed again last night
Retweeted by Hazel HayesTorn between Arrival, No Country For Old Men, 2001 and Pulp Fiction for tonight’s movie. Help. Please.OH NO! I'M GOING TO TOTALLY FANCY MAGGIE THATCHER
Retweeted by Hazel HayesIt’s sad that it’s so incredibly rare to see a politician with this much empathy and compassion 💛