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🧛🏻‍♀️ :: social editor @buzzfeednews/@am2dm :: formerly @nicksplat and @femsplain :: writer (on a good day) :: she/her

870 Following   2,112 Followers   13,188 Tweets

Joined Twitter 10/23/08


Is this a trick? All those posters made me realize it'd be odd if she's the only one we didn't see ashed at the end… https://t.co/Gy3wxFE193Isn't this how Village of the Damned started https://t.co/t6ufidDrWN @hardin The thighs are nighCancelled what now https://t.co/3NioRv8xo4Worrying about hauntings or break-ins when I live alone will be well worth no longer having to share a very thin wa… https://t.co/cxpxAYAPar
3/26
2019
It's very jarring to be watching Broad City and see an ad for Two and a Half Men @heytheregrimm Just for tipping? They gave me a quote of $300 for the job itself 🤔😅 @heytheregrimm Are you secretly one of my movers that sounds extremely high lolHello how much do you typically tip movers? (I have a studio/1-bedroom's worth of belongings, which will be packed… https://t.co/iVgM044Dz8I'm obsessed with this plush toy version of the Mucinex mascot https://t.co/NuVv76uJnPAs someone who has lived in NYC for 10 years the concept of having the kind of tub these trays even work with is wi… https://t.co/KwfvGn8r7QAnyone who saw the movie knows this isn't mind-blowing https://t.co/Hmwu71dtwt
3/25
2019
Jesus people get thrown out of windows in slow motion a lot in the Friday the 13th movies @brosandprose I swear every McDonald's interior is either weird as fuck or bland as fuck. And they love their word… https://t.co/E7dRMVdK2c
3/24
2019
@AnyoneComics Small and medium boxes? I've been informed by @KK0618 that the large ones are no good @msLauraAnderson Just checked it out and it is much cheaper than I expected! https://t.co/y4sVE6wPSnHello I'm moving soon and am bad at packing so please give me your obvious and not-so-obvious packing tips https://t.co/ppMik3n5rZ @SarahSahim Whoooaa whatI LIVE for surprise horn solos (the sax in M83's Midnight City, the trumpet in David J. Roch's Skin & Bones, etc.) https://t.co/3CPAxKNS2Q
3/22
2019
Wow finding out Schitt's Creek is ending after its next season before watching last night's episode REALLY amplifie… https://t.co/nQlgGvDY8cDeath Becomes Her isn't fiction and Bianca just decided to say fuck it to the 10-year-rule https://t.co/9QKlBzRNoD @jersing For some reason my brain didn't process that this was a mirror selfie and I was like why is that copy of Deathly Hallows so large?? @iangoldsteinyes Glad to see this is in North Carolina and not New York so that I may continue with my plan to grow… https://t.co/KMJisOcA9j @tommut Less because I feel like he'd give us a really great death scene @mollymulshine True. I've never wanted to entice anyone to my desk except for 1-2 cute coworkers to flirt with @mollymulshine I did this at my old job, but it wasn't really for sharing, it was just because I was too lazy to go… https://t.co/IsiUVMuf4JI didn't know there was a name for this and I feel sufficiently called out https://t.co/R1kya9jkax @knifeyjames NopeIf I'm writing something longer than a word or two at a time I usually do, it's faster than picking up the pen agai… https://t.co/bEVCCfwHXjI never watched John Wick because I knew a dog died in it and I never watched John Wick 2 because I never watched J… https://t.co/IdjOeuG1BTI'm... crying? https://t.co/NUGmYo8mN3Got to see Us a little early and can already tell I'm going to be thinking about it for days https://t.co/EkevomYdNx
3/21
2019
@thecultureofme Imagine him trying to stay on the doorhttps://t.co/KFlqxlgNJJ @GreyEditing It's been a while since I read it but I feel like Speak by Laurie Halse Anderson maybe? If not that sh… https://t.co/yGtgyo3VU5Lol you know the kids are gonna be like oh no we need to crawl into this vent but none of us are small enough and t… https://t.co/W41Xp2TD5o
3/20
2019
@McJesse Orgasm?Goodwin's my name and placing an order at Sephora then forgetting about it until I get an email saying it's almost arrived is my game @Choplogik @GraceSpelman Absolutely it's clearly an app for buying cowboy hats @CarolineMoss This isn't as extreme but for about three weeks after Christmas one of my neighbors left their life-s… https://t.co/b5TnSelPoo @davidmackau He's revealing his candidacy to be some weird performance art piece way too early on @kim_hoyos Oscar, he's the only realist of the bunch, and we could use his trash can to build fires in and possibly turn it into a raft
3/19
2019
@kim_hoyos But he's also kind of a rube and might not be able to lead help back to youWhenever I have a migraine I'm like maybe I should get one of those doorframe things you can hang upside down from… https://t.co/66tbvwiQRz @gabrielabarkho @broazay Oh good that always bugged me about them @broazay @gabrielabarkho Well considering they don't take cash I kinda gotta take their side on this oneAs someone who gets migraines I must say my favorite part about having a cold is the near-constant headache like I… https://t.co/ODmoe4NLwd @catesish Sign up for some of those rewards apps that give you points for all your steps
3/18
2019
@ellesep And Katherine Heigl's!
3/16
2019
https://t.co/l96mstpuzuNew guerilla marketing tactics @MagiciansSYFY? https://t.co/Qoi6uNzPA1
3/15
2019
Almost broke a tooth on this thing but it was worth it https://t.co/WFYjb7PrGd @EllenKilloran It's truly offensiveThings Lori Loughlin's daughter doesn't deserve: - her spot at USC - those goddamn eyebrows @jackigarfinkel This tweet is so old lololWhere do you think she got the idea https://t.co/ywboeYoNw7 @jackigarfinkel I have no idea about William H. Macy unless they can get this dog to do it https://t.co/12Lu0Xhi9d @jackigarfinkel She's a little young but Keri Russell for Lori Loughlin (obviously the daughter can play her in the… https://t.co/886EYB9YWV @jackigarfinkel I minored in cheesy biopic casting in collegePlease tell me we get to see these two beat the shit out of each other in #AvengersEndgame just for the fun of it https://t.co/MrivVjVwRP"confirms he will announce" jesus this is like the teaser trailer of politics https://t.co/R3aW8TK0A9
3/14
2019
@jakebunger https://t.co/3tVBaTogDc @anushkapatil @CarolineMoss There's no investigative piece about this and I'm mad @CarolineMoss Typical 😤 @HayesBrown @anushkapatil Smoke... cigarettes or other things or does it even matter lol @bobby_snacks It's more of a butter yellow than pee yellow but nice try @anushkapatil I've seen two apartments with this! And my current apartment has a yellow living room! I feel like I'm in a stick of butterWhy are so many apartments in New York yellow @arossin @BriSulli For me it almost always ends up being me saying nothing but my name by way of introduction and a… https://t.co/M9PXwUCdOV @LorynBrantz I usually do, they don't even really need to open it if they don't want since they'll most likely get a message preview @BriSulli Pretty much every conference call I've ever been onIf Felicity Huffman doesn't play herself in the Lifetime movie my vote's for Anna Gunn @xxSarahS @laura_wolford @EvitorialPage Still available by chance? 😬"So when we look at a cat staring at us impassively, it looks like a psychopath who cannot feel or show emotion. Bu… https://t.co/MNjY4lYgpw
3/13
2019
@ryanlawler Me curling up on the couch and watching the faucet drip https://t.co/YM5av76xmf
3/11
2019
About to enjoy another lusky Sunday https://t.co/jEeZJ7rl5t
3/10
2019
@AlannaBennett Would like to submit to the Look Book for consideration https://t.co/HJhywE7oJoHappy International Women's Day to the guy who cursed and spit at me because I almost walked into him after he sudd… https://t.co/TgEQs4xveo
3/9
2019
Me realizing Goose might've been dusted in the snap https://t.co/kAihCmmQlYJust saw Captain Marvel and am giddy thinking about the ass-kicking Thanos is going to getIf this is true I'm gonna be really pissed https://t.co/EAuFpnaTn0
3/8
2019
@sarayasin pointed out Political Candidate Barbie's midriff is showing as if she'd ever get away with that without… https://t.co/W91gWFnxxaShe's running https://t.co/WBqd8GNT7sMy least funny jokes are the ones that get LMAOs and idk if they're pity laughs or what but either way I feel like a fraud @mattbooshell My skin is itching but also lol @mattbooshell This is very good but my anxiety is through the roof at the thought of trying to sync everything up correctlyLol just yesterday I was thinking it might be time to get back on dating apps so I'll consider this divine interven… https://t.co/poozTMPEMW @jackigarfinkel @ericahalli Mom and Dad don't fight
3/7
2019
@bobby_snacks NeverHelp I clicked on an ad and now a boutique lingerie company is threatening to kill my family if I don't buy a braSome of you don't think people are out here trying to figure out if you're single and it showsThink we're in the clear https://t.co/cMeT5wxzMZA potentially tragic update https://t.co/tE7GxpZ0DOMy friend's working from home and sending me updates on her little squirrel friends who sleep on the chimney next d… https://t.co/w7ky3Mhmqt @jersing Thought this was headed in a very different direction
3/6
2019
https://t.co/yZhaUd1dgq @voidhowler Hey bud don't beat yourself up we all have off days @voidhowler WhatIdk who Landon Collins is but they're trending and if I had that name I'd introduce myself to the tune of London CallingMe when I eat a cookie out of the oven too soon https://t.co/sW6vwSGMBH
3/5
2019

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