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Unverified. Unverified. Thee/thou/thine.

1 Following   6,109,432 Followers   10,717 Tweets

Joined Twitter 10/19/10


Ram and I would both like you to stop killing in our names. You know why? Because we're IMAGINARY, you stupid jackasses. #DelhiRiots
2/25
2020
I work in ways so mysterious even I can't figure them out.
2/24
2020
To avoid the collapse of civilization you need to reduce carbon emissions 50% by 2010."Vote for Bernie if you want Trump to win?" No. Vote for Bernie if you want Bernie to win.
2/23
2020
I should have left the elephants in charge.I'm leaving. Messi, take over.
Retweeted by God
2/22
2020
The fakest news of all time. https://t.co/sGpkgmrHGg
2/17
2020
No, please, keep praying, I'm totally listening.Well that was 13.7 billion years I'll never get back.
2/16
2020
You're a mass extinction event posing as a civilization.
2/13
2020
The worst thing about the imminent extinction of the human race via environmental cataclysm is, it may hurt the economy.
2/12
2020
How does it feel? How does it feel? To be all alone? With your cover blown? Your collusion shown? A complete self-own? Like a Roger Stone.
Retweeted by God
2/11
2020
I keep changing My mind about how to destroy Australia.
2/9
2020
Christians: Understanding the Bible is a monumental task and takes several years of dedication. Atheists: Well it… https://t.co/RIcgAgnnmB
Retweeted by God
2/7
2020
Shock the world, Iowa. #Yang2020.
2/3
2020
SUPER BOWL PREDICTION New England 0. And that's all that matters.
2/2
2020
What the fuck.A common error in prayer technique is sitting around asking for stuff. Most experts agree a more effective method… https://t.co/tcCBBQc78K
1/26
2020
Thanks for noticing, Mr. President! https://t.co/eD2mF52bZY
1/25
2020
And unmarried pedophile priests. https://t.co/9L1DAUi1sf
1/23
2020
What doesn't kill you just needs a little more time.
1/22
2020
ANNOUNCEMENT As of today My son: • Is stepping away from heavenly duties • Will no longer be referred to as “Son of… https://t.co/UtCQnmoEC5I created you as mosquito food.
1/18
2020
Hey Basij, I'll make you a deal: if you let the students you're terrorizing and threatening to kill at Amir Kabir U… https://t.co/RIqICAYJpx
1/15
2020
Iran, the people of the world stand with you! Actually, no. Most of them don't care about you or even know you exis… https://t.co/8jAISnj9dZ
1/13
2020
Fuck these mullahfuckers. #IranProtests2020 #IraniansDetestSoleimaniThe government took the plane down "by accident". Maybe the people should take the government down on purpose. #IranPlaneCrash #iranprotest
1/12
2020
Iran, you've been a cradle of civilization for over 10,000 years. You are truly too old for this shit. #IranProtests
1/11
2020
In an ideal scenario the President of the United States and the worst human being in the world would be two different people.
Retweeted by GodFrom now on only bad things happen.
1/8
2020
Attention: Will the owners of a blue planet with plate tectonics please attend to your vehicle. It is overheating.
1/7
2020
Say what you like about the President, but you have to admit: he's a fucking piece of shit.There's a direct link between climate change and not doing anything about climate change.I’m sorry, Australia. You don’t deserve this. Your PM maybe, but not you.
1/5
2020
True, but My son is a die-hard Socialist. https://t.co/jExEeEOpa5No. No. Negative. Untrue. False. Incorrect. In no way the case. No. https://t.co/GaQI0JVcbg
1/4
2020
No it didn’t. He’s still President. https://t.co/Ip65LgXPm6
1/3
2019
Jesus wants to write an editorial condemning Trump, but he’s afraid he’ll lose the support of evangelicals.
12/26
2019
Here’s wishing the President a cold, lonely, miserable, desperate, self-loathing, scandal-ridden, dementia-fueled,… https://t.co/0Fotju1O1N
12/25
2019
I’ll stay out of politics when politics stays out of Me.
12/23
2019
Azaadi. Brahma told me to tell you that.
12/21
2019
I (in the form of My secretary) wrote this song for My Chosen People at this special time of year. Try not to melt… https://t.co/uaCQExBGu6
12/20
2019
Overwhelming evidence suggests a startling number of people are capable of ignoring overwhelming evidence.
12/19
2019
God rest ye merry congressmen, Let nothing you dismay. Remember Trump’s behavior On this Impeachment Day. And save… https://t.co/iPk5Kb55os
12/18
2019
★★★★★ "Diabolically glorious" Bway World ★★★★★ "Funniest show we've seen in ages. @zoelyons pitch perfect" LLL ★★★★… https://t.co/VfZs6KJFF0
Retweeted by God
12/13
2019
The problem with government of the people, by the people, and for the people, is the people.
12/12
2019
Intelligence looks in a mirror and sees ignorance. Ignorance looks in a mirror and sees intelligence.INDIA 1,300,000,000 people 330,000,000 gods 780 languages No sense of humour
12/8
2019
Next time just dogs.
12/3
2019
Only retweeting this can save you now.
12/2
2019
Pretty much wherever on Earth the aliens land, when they say “Take me to your leader” you’re going to feel very embarrassed.By 2030 it is essential that mankind reduce by 95% its total annual emission of bullshit.
12/1
2019
It’s #BlackFriday, so be sure to buy enough consumer goods to fill the spiritual vacuum sucking on your soul.
11/29
2019
This Thanksgiving I am grateful to everyone who doesn’t believe in Me for trying to keep the world safe from everyone who does.
Retweeted by God
11/28
2019
Also, "And I'm proud to be an American/Where at least I know I'm free" is patriotism at its lamest. "At least you k… https://t.co/pUuOnqOVOuNo. Fuck off. https://t.co/WJtWnHy6ge
11/27
2019
I have chosen Donald Trump to be President because I strongly dislike Western civilization and wish it to end.Attention U.K.: finally, just in time to be too late to do anything about Brexit, My play “An Act of God” starring… https://t.co/YqP60hBNlt
11/26
2019
You are a device for your phone.
11/25
2019
You're either part of the problem or the entire problem.
11/21
2019
The President of the United States is insane.
Retweeted by GodThe human race is at 2% on Rotten Tomatoes.
11/20
2019
Try to remember at least once an hour that you’re going to die.
11/18
2019
Policy change: everyone have lots of pre-marital sex.
11/15
2019
Deep down in your soul, you need more money.
11/14
2019
Ten years ago My secretary wrote this book - the first-ever pregnancy guide addressed to the pre-natal reader. If y… https://t.co/7ipX9WlAhiI don’t exist. What’s your excuse?
11/13
2019
Want to honor veterans? Stop making them. #VeteransDay
11/11
2019
Twitter can’t verify Me because you can’t either.For whatever reason I just don't seem to like Arsenal.
Retweeted by God
11/9
2019
Retweeting this accomplishes nothing.
11/6
2019
You don't have to wait for the end of the world. It ends a little every day.
11/4
2019
The people who call out My name Sunday morning aren't as fun the ones who call it out Saturday night.
11/3
2019
Admission to heaven is 90% determined by spelling and grammar.
Retweeted by GodI can not believe that after one tweet all the backlash I get is how I spelled your and you’re I mean come on nothi… https://t.co/qTwZ5bMv5w
Retweeted by GodOur President, who art a heathen, Hollow be thy soul. The time has come. You’re sick and dumb And worthy to go to p… https://t.co/n1TdxeBFFK
11/2
2019
It’s not Christmas. It’s not Christmas. It’s not Christmas. Stop it. It’s November 1. 15% of the year comes between… https://t.co/lYf4U2WRjCHey Delhi, are you still down there? I can’t see you.Instead of sending you all to hell I've decided it would be easier to just send hell to you.
11/1
2019
Those bastards had it coming. https://t.co/NFqthJK6Am
10/31
2019
The kind of people who have power tend to be the kind of people who want power, who tend to be the kind of people who shouldn't have it.
10/29
2019
Time is money. Money talks. So time talks. But talk is cheap. So time is cheap. But time is money. So money is cheap. Which it's not.
10/28
2019
Retweet if you disagree.
10/27
2019
Jesus asked Me to tell Kanye to fuck off.Life is a near-death experience.
10/25
2019
Fuck this shit. Retweet if you agree.
10/23
2019
I genuinely am God. You can tell because I'm genuinely not helping you in any way.
10/22
2019
The President of the United States is insane.
10/17
2019
Retweeting this counts as going to church.
10/13
2019
Lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer or straight, you are all equally loathsome in My eyes.Only I can judge. And I don't! #ComingOutDay
10/11
2019
Just because this Republican president is the worst president of all time doesn't mean the last Republican presiden… https://t.co/IlsUNMz6BK
10/9
2019
You are all so fucked.
10/8
2019
What a ridiculous species you are. Just absurd.
10/7
2019
Every new day is another chance to lose faith in humanity.
10/3
2019
The Bible is 100% accurate. Especially when thrown at close range.Many of you are stupid.
10/2
2019
The President is every failure of Western civilization embodied in one man.
9/30
2019
Evolution requires believing that 3.5 billion years of natural selection and survival of the fittest led to you assholes.
9/27
2019
Seriously though, we kid around a lot here on Twitter, but impeach the motherfucker.
Retweeted by God
9/26
2019

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