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Pinot Evil @TheWinegasm FuckThisShitVille

elegantly wasted

9,435 Following   36,874 Followers   122,989 Tweets

Joined Twitter 6/4/15


I have an enormous tool... .......box full of Lego.
Retweeted by Pinot EvilThere's a fine line between a poor chat-up game and, well, fine lines.
Retweeted by Pinot EvilMOSES [texting his mother]: I can’t believe you left me on reed
Retweeted by Pinot EvilNothing ruins a DM room like family.
Retweeted by Pinot EvilI have the attention span of a
Retweeted by Pinot Evil @beardedsaffa And kittensI got a new phone and having a non-cracked screen is wild. Better soak it in for the next 24-36 hours
Retweeted by Pinot Evilapparently I'm 'just start hitting random buttons on the remote when it stops working' years old
Retweeted by Pinot Evil*Bernie Sanders ambling through the Capitol looking for the absolute bastard that touched the thermostat*
Retweeted by Pinot Evilthat dad probably said he didn't want a dog https://t.co/scMmsr1fCG
Retweeted by Pinot Evil“This is a moment of relief for a lot of people,” says the same media who has been scaring the shit out of those people for four years.
Retweeted by Pinot EvilWhat Amanda Gorman said today was more presidential than ANYTHING we have heard in 4 years
Retweeted by Pinot EvilParenting changes a person. For example, I now look for my phone in the dishwasher before starting a cycle.
Retweeted by Pinot Evilyou know he's just gonna watch the inauguration on a disposable tv so he can rage fire golf balls into it and angry cry
Retweeted by Pinot EvilHey Siri where’s my other mitten https://t.co/f7wPdQSXdo
Retweeted by Pinot Evil“I SAID, TELL ME HOW TO GET TO SESAME STREET.” https://t.co/8rXKxTAMNY
Retweeted by Pinot EvilWednesday in the Park with Bernie https://t.co/ohaZrok9zV
Retweeted by Pinot EvilOptimus Prime’s mom walking in on him while he’s carjacking
Retweeted by Pinot Evil
1/21
2021
@jacobgivens 😂https://t.co/Gtbf6mCkRe
Retweeted by Pinot Evilhttps://t.co/UDr5Ys12kV
Retweeted by Pinot Evilwhat’s next for us in apocalypse? I bet you anything it’s Tiger King 2
Retweeted by Pinot EvilMy 4yo: There’s a girl whose Vice President!? I guess when I turn 5 I’ll be Vice President too.
Retweeted by Pinot EvilI scroll Twitter like it’s my job. I’m essentially a buzzfeed employee.
Retweeted by Pinot Evil @reccastle PreachWhen you're one of the Capitol Hill terrorists and you realize that Trump didn't pardon you. https://t.co/MI4DSsnCAz
Retweeted by Pinot Evil1980 followers? THANK YOU FRIENDS, I love you all. Let's celebrate with tweets off of the 80s. Winner gets a filthy… https://t.co/NOn0qkiixt
Retweeted by Pinot EvilRoses are blurry Violets are blurry Pepper spray really burns Sorry for masturbating in your greenhouse
Retweeted by Pinot EvilHere's the full poem from Amanda Gorman, who is the youngest poet to ever read at an inauguration. "Somehow we've… https://t.co/0ArcvNbq89
Retweeted by Pinot EvilStart your Inauguration Day with some of Amanda Gorman’s beautiful words. She’ll read her new piece at the Capitol… https://t.co/DNySAgysDo
Retweeted by Pinot Evil*cut to Melania on Air Force One* BARRON! https://t.co/7k9bGiQYlQ
Retweeted by Pinot EvilBiden: sworn in Trump: cursed out
Retweeted by Pinot EvilJoe: Don't touch those apples Kamala: Why not? Joe: For Biden fruit
Retweeted by Pinot EvilSpicy finger bangs, is my next band name.
Retweeted by Pinot EvilBig day for complete sentences.
Retweeted by Pinot Evil*day 1 of fertility meds* Me, to my ovaries: https://t.co/pTCyoAOG0K
Retweeted by Pinot EvilWhat happens in the microwave, stays in the microwave.
Retweeted by Pinot Evilozzy osbourne showing john lennon how to write heavy metal (1968) https://t.co/ENRS4xP0D5
Retweeted by Pinot EvilImagine meeting your soulmate and then finding out they pronounce sociopath like soshiopath
Retweeted by Pinot EvilRecent studies show that the average person lies at least 10 times a day. On another note, shut up about wanting T… https://t.co/osJioDwIB2
Retweeted by Pinot EvilWake up and smell the end of a long national nightmare.
Retweeted by Pinot Evila muppets boner is called ‘getting felt up’
Retweeted by Pinot EvilTickle his taint. Dudes love to be tickled.
Retweeted by Pinot Evilwow I'd almost forgotten what it's like to hear a President speak without wanting to change the channel
Retweeted by Pinot EvilYou just know the Trumps have White House bath towels in their luggage.
Retweeted by Pinot Evilme: what’s the difference between an american and an australian spider? date: i don’t know me: one is a spider you idiot
Retweeted by Pinot EvilMankind has survived hundreds of thousands of years despite man’s primal instinct to tell hysterical women to calm down.
Retweeted by Pinot Evil @ShortSleeveSuit It’s all happening 🤩I don’t have a TC because I value my mental health too much.
Retweeted by Pinot EvilSO I GOT A SECRET PARDON https://t.co/lLBQ0QEFEh
Retweeted by Pinot Evil*finally exhales after 4 years*
Retweeted by Pinot EvilTRUMP ISN'T PRESIDENT ANYMORE! PASS IT ON
Retweeted by Pinot EvilI don’t think anyone actually hates to break it to you.
Retweeted by Pinot EvilPlease don’t insult my intelligence... ...it doesn’t know what you’re talking about anyway.
Retweeted by Pinot EvilFor once I’d like to get kicked INTO a bar
Retweeted by Pinot Evil @ShortSleeveSuit 😂DONALD: alright it’s time to go get in the helicopter ERIC [penis in toaster]: lol I’m coming
Retweeted by Pinot Evillol it’s funny cause biden sounds like bye don, which is trumps first name https://t.co/lZvwMhm5L9
Retweeted by Pinot EvilMy dad looks PISSED that I dropped this acid https://t.co/EBD7RDrAkM
Retweeted by Pinot EvilME: Close your eyes, I got you a birthday present. SPOUSE: *closes eyes* Oh? ME: Remember how you told me you lov… https://t.co/CYoxJQ6MTu
Retweeted by Pinot EvilMmmm fruit https://t.co/hOXfdPPBwb
Retweeted by Pinot EvilHOW DO THE SIMPSONS ALWAYS PREDICT THIS SHIT https://t.co/vHt4YAIJYn
Retweeted by Pinot EvilThe light is so much brighter when it follows four years of darkness.
Retweeted by Pinot EvilCan't wait to start seeing White House decorations turning up on ebay, being sold by a 'TonaldDrump45'
Retweeted by Pinot EvilIf you went all the way to the desert without naming your horse, that’s on you.
Retweeted by Pinot EvilBook book book book book book book book. Racism. Book book book book book. Bigly. Book book book book. -excerpt fr… https://t.co/8AcnsQ4UtF
Retweeted by Pinot EvilThe stock market popped a boner for Joe Biden today
Retweeted by Pinot EvilGirls are like, “I just want an honest man” Guys are like, “ok, what’s up with your fuckin’ eyebrows?”
Retweeted by Pinot EvilMommy, where do baby carrots come from? https://t.co/TelRAldDPa
Retweeted by Pinot EvilSucks how parents can't name their son The Green River Killer anymore since The Green River Killer went & ruined it for everyone.
Retweeted by Pinot EvilIf Dr Seuss were a tweeter he'd tweet tweets on his twitter with care in each letter so tweeters who are bitter would all tweet a bit better
Retweeted by Pinot EvilDear President Biden, If the other guy has hidden the password for the White House WiFi, give ‘IWONTHISELECTIONBYA… https://t.co/vpBpKpmny6
Retweeted by Pinot EvilWords can't tame some feelings
Retweeted by Pinot EvilDon't remind others about the " nice " things you do for them , it's cheap.
Retweeted by Pinot EvilI spent all day cleaning and then remembered that my kids still live here, so I dumped the clean laundry on the flo… https://t.co/QS7sXYHUQc
Retweeted by Pinot Evil @DesignIsabelle Sending love xTrump is gone, but his face bronzer shall always remain on the Presidential pillows
Retweeted by Pinot EvilIt’s called synesthesia, maybe you’ve tasted it
Retweeted by Pinot Evil*Beavis and Butthead laugh* https://t.co/QgdEudLkZF
Retweeted by Pinot Evil @BillWhoWanders Fever and fatigue and body aches but not too bad thanks ♥️the whole family standing there and only the kids wearing masks kind of sums it up https://t.co/YUZJpCr21B
Retweeted by Pinot EvilI only fist bump using my penis
Retweeted by Pinot Evil @ralph_maple @musicntats Hallmark he’s still available @curlyredhead84 Do it 😂Disney porn is a thing. It’s pretty ducking graphic.[At the beauty salon] me: give me the ‘Challah’ https://t.co/A5v9xiqoYF
Retweeted by Pinot EvilImagine meeting your soulmate but they say “mischief managed” whenever they cum
Retweeted by Pinot Evilsome people keep an ugly friend around so that they look better in pictures and for my dog, that person is me
Retweeted by Pinot EvilHate to be a wet blanket today but even though we stomped out the spider we still have to deal with the 70 million… https://t.co/gMMZxE2cKO
Retweeted by Pinot EvilImagine being white in America today and having some kind of fear that life is about to get slightly less comfortab… https://t.co/447Duj6DEd
Retweeted by Pinot Evil @RodLacroix @TwinSurvivalist 😂😂Kids: What's for dinner? Me: We're having- Kids: UGGGGHHHHH
Retweeted by Pinot EvilMe: JNCO makes caskets now? Her: that's a dumpster
Retweeted by Pinot Evil_____________________________ _____________________________ _____________________________ _________________________… https://t.co/Ccpp7HTWbE
Retweeted by Pinot Evil @RepMarieNewman FEDERAL DEFICIT: 2016 = $587 Billion 2020 = $3.3 Trillion I think hiring a “business mogul” was… https://t.co/WxDxBQfRrv
Retweeted by Pinot EvilCaught my girlfriend having sex with an abstract artist. He said "it's not what it looks like"
Retweeted by Pinot EvilHere are some must follow accounts @MNateShyamalan @DrakeGatsby @English_Channel @RiotGrlErin @funflapshttps://t.co/dtj6JlPJqC
Retweeted by Pinot EvilI'll just put a song on to help me concentrate on work *air drums for entire song*
Retweeted by Pinot EvilExactly how tiny a dancer are we talking here?
Retweeted by Pinot EvilPer my previous email, please quit playing games with the following: 1. My heart 2. My heart 3. My heart
Retweeted by Pinot Evil
1/20
2021

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