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⊰TJ Berry⊱ @TJBerry Los Angeles, CA

Novelist & screenwriter 🏳️‍🌈 | SPACE UNICORN BLUES & FIVE UNICORN FLUSH | she/her | Repped by @samroebuck

3,750 Following   3,081 Followers   18,554 Tweets

Joined Twitter 2/15/14

This dude in the employee break room: “What? What? It’s just like eating!"I finished all my writing before getting on twitter today so now I glow like a catholic saint in a renaissance painting.Y’all I just-- @katsudonburi Never touching a cis man’s keyboard again.
Summary of Stranger Things, Season 3: [squelching]Every writer knows that if you miss the top of the hour it’s impossible to start writing until the next hour.Me: I’ll start writing at 9:00. Also me: Oh, it’s 9:12.Reagan would be horrified by racism and ignoring a pandemic? You sure about that?
Retweeted by ⊰TJ Berry⊱Time always seems like it’s moving faster as we get older but it's actually just the universe circling the drain.
@DaveDeckard @madoccassia Not bad for a first draft...My boss: “You’re doing amazing work, but we’re a nonprofit so we can’t give you a raise. Is there anything else we… you go to make a recipe and there’s a recipe within the recipe like a baking fractal. @ZuzuSunshine Definitely. Kickstarter and poshmark purchases are indicators of my declining mental health. My anxi… @MxOberon You are so right. In the short story world we're currently getting paid .08 per word when the inflation-a… dawned on me that every time you write a single word of your novel, you undertake the monumental task of narrowi… a recipe called for boiling something for 30 minutes and I didn’t shrug after ten minutes and call it finishe… tactic to employ when we subsidize most of his base... @mkhardywrites Yes!!! I could barely choose they were all so lovely!Therapist: How's things going? Me, staggering under the weight of 817 enamel pins ranging from magical chicken hou… all the enamel pin kickstarters are ending and i’m realizing the full magnitude of what i’ve done
oh wow twitter was down for an hour and I wrote an entire novelExtrajudicial killings are nothing new in this country, but now they don’t even bother to hide it. who?! #SnarkPile #stickers #Halloween #spookyseason #HocusPocus
Retweeted by ⊰TJ Berry⊱My college once printed promotional bumper stickers that said: Douglass! Yess! Predictably, everyone cut the stick… coronavirus numbers surge again, watch how the virus has swelled and swirled across the country since the pandem…
Retweeted by ⊰TJ Berry⊱It’s not a sham. They are lying and opportunistic. And have discovered appealing to over racism and abuse of power…
Retweeted by ⊰TJ Berry⊱🗣This is the VERY LAST DAY you can fill out the 2020 Census. This is your last chance to be counted. Please take a…
Retweeted by ⊰TJ Berry⊱Fear and control of others… getting yours while someone else suffers… making a big show of defiance even when it ma… would be fine, if they only hurt themselves. But liberals have always known that we're all in this together.… next day, I report it to the admin and I learn that Joe has done this to other women. Always women... funny abo… drops the empty can, red-faced and gasping. He's hunched over, holding his back. There's a weird quiet moment w… is not swayed. He lifts the overstuffed commercial trash can over his head and hoists it outside to the dumpste…"Just leave it, Joe," I say cheerfully as my hands start shaking. "No problem. I'll tell the staff they were wrong.… of agreeing, Joe suddenly rages at me. Screaming and shouting. I am a woman alone in a dark and deserted s… growls about an overstuffed trash can in the kitchen. It's too heavy to lift and he has a bad back. I'm basica…'ve told this story before, but I'll tell it again. Years ago, I'm on the board of a rural elementary school. I'm…’s a point of pride for republicans to get what they want despite breaking rules… even their own personal values.…’s cute that anyone thinks a republican ever cares about being called a hypocrite.I can't wait to go back to the cinema in 2022 and have a choice between the Netflix 16, the Amazon Studios 12, or the HBOMax 14.Mood: Stress buying shoes that no one else will see for two years. @EM_Writing Hahah. Thanks—just the usual crushing despair! @Aimee_Ogden Oooh, apple cider donuts. Gotta find some of those.The person distributing local GOP candidate flyers had their kindergartener run them up to our door. In true repub… stage of grief is: “About to cry because a coupon code won’t work..." @MiriBaker Sending love. ♥️
People experience story in different ways. For example, I can’t follow fiction via audiobook or podcast. My 6th gr… no, not the “graphic novels aren’t reading” bs again. Storytelling is about communicating experiences and emoti… @KarissaLaurel oh my gosh, yes! I discovered PM recently and had no idea what treasures were in store! I use it to… Con Libros — a Black owned feminist bookstore in Crown Heights — did not come to play with #PrimeDay
Retweeted by ⊰TJ Berry⊱$20 Murder dress. Worn once. for a getaway in our hotel? Plenty of time to write your novel, we promise...
Retweeted by ⊰TJ Berry⊱ @jkcheney One foot in front of the other… ♥️There needs to be a setting at my bank that once I reach a certain amount of Poshmark spending it freezes all trans… tired of being tired.
@cmpriest @gailcarriger Best response ever. @Pixelfish That space turned out so lovely! @shaunduke I am very invested in the outcome of these experiments. @mishellbaker I started running a couple of months ago when I needed a small daily victory that wasn’t tied to thin…*rolls dice* Which one is it today... @Trollbreath42 Oh the hottest prime ever!Some days twitter tries to kill me and some days it saves my life.6th grader: I don’t know the answer. Me: write a number 6th grader: which one? Me: any number, I don’t careBold of the 6th grade teachers to assign three hours of homework a night as if we’re not in the middle of a crumbling empire. @KateSchaeferZ Seventeen is my favorite one! Thanks!It’s prime day and I don’t even have any primes.
@EM_Writing Me too… fried cheese is the best. There was a restaurant down the road that had fried cheese curds, but… @EM_Writing Oh wow. I had to look those up because I don’t think they’re in the US yet and they look amazing.A very accurate measure of my mental health on any given day is the amount of cheese I consume by 4pm.oh no it’s the cake boss @grumpymartian @HillaryMonahan @beckymew Bookmarking their shop for my next round of stress-buying. @grumpymartian That necklace is ready to get stuff done. 💕 @ksader That’s a good strategy… and you end up with a clean house and some finished sewing!Today would be a good day to ignore the news and watch soapmaking videos on youtube instead. It’s okay to look awa… you ever think of a really funny tweet at night but save it for morning because your East Coast friends were asleep?Still bummed that I didn't get an invite to the Fartlander Ween wedding.No more zooms. I'm done with zooming. Mail me a letter.
@premeesaurus So tranqil. 10/10 would buy for deaydreaming purposes.
@JamesSACorey The fly.October is draining my lifeforce. By Halloween I’m going to resemble the dessicated skeleton of Chester Copperpot a… you go through the whole rigamarole and risk-assessment for curbside pickup... and the food is bleh.My husband keeps putting my hand wash only unicorn glasses through the dishwasher and now they’re all EVEN BETTER.
@QueenOfRats @HeyDoryen @StinaLeicht It was a very fraught thing. I remember Trekkie being used in the same way nec… sold two books that started as Nano projects. If you’re word count or competition motivated, it’s a great tool t… @StinaLeicht Yeah, Trekkie was pejorative for a while in the 80s but in the age of Earpers, Beliebers, and Cumberbi… ever believe their pro-life lies. still don’t understand how celebrating a drop in positive covid cases by easing restrictions--thereby increasing… GOP has no idea about what’s about to happen to them… #DivineNine
Retweeted by ⊰TJ Berry⊱ @BergamOhJones Listen, I’ll literally watch anything to get out of writing at this point.Welcome to wednesday in which the 6th grader’s schedule is inexplicably flipped and everyone is off-kilter and pissy. @BergamOhJones Hahah, I was like… this is a neat battle scene but...If you watch enough YouTube videos they eventually become a novel, right?I'm trying out an "Amazon Day" where all your packges come once a week and it's been quiet here for a while but tomorrow is gonna be 🔥 @MarySueSays It’s like showing up to a party just to discover it’s a masquerade...Ah yes, the time of year when I won't know who any of you are until November 1st.I bet the Cullens watched a lot of fox news.Can a bunch of us just move to the middle of nowhere and recreate Danny the Street?It’s going to take a decade to uncover all the little ways in which they’ve made this country worse.
@AndreaGStewart Glad you’re feeling better! Thanks for sharing this. Pregnancy and birth are SO INCREDIBLY HARD… e… friend made this kick ass CA ballot voter guide! Please use & share!
Retweeted by ⊰TJ Berry⊱I always wondered what it would be like if Typhoid Mary had twitter.