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I write comics and wrote FYC: THE ROCK for @quirkbooks (OUT NOW!) 📝: Geek, AskMen, HuffPost, GQ, etc. I think about OUT OF SIGHT a lot.

976 Following   3,216 Followers   87,988 Tweets

Joined Twitter 7/10/09

USPS employees are responsible for my and the businesses of so many others still being able to run during this pand…
Retweeted by tres deanSpeak on it queen
Retweeted by tres dean @JeneralArcher You’re welcome.Somebody wanna shoot me their WWE network login tomorrow? I’m tryna watch that Edge documentary. Will be logged off… @bookishbelle The 30th! We’re just two or three days apart right? @1followernodad sophia the Iowa caucus has been dead for 32 yearsfri day night
Retweeted by tres deani've heard several actual shrieks from the next room over in the last hour @RianSygh HOOOO BUDDY @HannahLilNessen Yup! Well said. Like I said, I get the logic of Edge being physically grueling and then coming wit… @HannahLilNessen Ringer's Survivor pod pointed out something similar this week - the challenges tend to be super ph…
Friday mood
Retweeted by tres deanhe's right the boy III @CHofferCBus Thinking about it but honestly I've done so many D&D campaigns and one-offs since this started that I… @SamMaggs yeah this was finally the week i barely changed out of sweatpants, whoopsNow taking suggestions for how to spend my birthday at the end of the month because *shrug emoji*the jungle cruise water is safe to drink
Retweeted by tres dean @ArtofNickRobles <3me, actually: rashida jones' character, an expert in jury selection, aptly notes how easy it is to peg incidents li…, actually: in one of the deposition scenes divya narendra specifically refers to mark creating facebook in the t… what you thinkin about? me: nothing :/ me, actually: @weredawgz @definitelyvita @FemmesinFridges All three of us got like the same resultsSupport The Archive, one of the great movie stores in the country. I’ve driven almost two hours to CT to visit it a… @GriffLightning @blankcheckpod Was just fantasizing about this last night when listening to that Cast Away episode. It’s gotta happen. @jhanteigh *adds to cart*More quarantine content! I made a video about the curious case of Wrestlemania 36 and whether or not this year’s ex…
Retweeted by tres deanKew & Willow has $1 media mail shipping until April 5th! Just put my order in for a very ghostly book. #GhostSquad
Retweeted by tres deanthere is exactly one (1) imperfection in THE SOCIAL NETWORK and it is that when Winklevii #1 says "let's GUT the fr… @from_outta_town The best movie ever made about how landlords are not your friends!people who call Star Wars “the skywalker saga” are officers of the law and should be treated as such @whatthe_shea Tonks Hive @Benjamin_Percy All-timer right here.“Ann?” “Yes sir?” “Punch me in the face.”Worth noting that this scene is followed by the most savage burn in a movie consisting entirely of savage burns whe…“Ah, the shoe is on the other...” “foot?” “Table. Which has turned”dakota johnson in a pair of Stanford underwear to match her Stanford sweatshirt is inspired costumingI know the opening scene is a classic but the Sean Parker intro is just wall to wall bangers“I’m an entrepreneur” “well then what was your latest peneur?”
There’s a joke in the B99 section of that What If These Shows Did A Pandemic Episode story going around where Holt… @teaberryblue @netw3rk @anticuado i dare her kushner wasn’t bullied enough as a child
Retweeted by tres deanSeize billionaires' assets. Seize billionaires' assets. Seize billionaires' assets. Seize billionaires' assets.…
Retweeted by tres deanC*roline C*lloway plagiarizing a John Green quote in her 15K word personal essay (part one of three) is the cosmic… @JonHexLives imo he seemed fine, plenty of life force still kickin round in that meat bagU miss the old you and that’s a personal problem
Retweeted by tres deanabsolutely insane that there are people ignoring social distancing practices! y’all could literally watch the socia… a word....The South.
Retweeted by tres deanThe richest man on earth presided over a plan to scapegoat a black worker in one of his warehouses, because executi…
Retweeted by tres deanme, to my reflection: you chose to freelance full time you chose to freelance full time you chose to freelance full… @karenyhan the boy band thing where they make an album that's actually really dark and broody and about sex because… or three times a week i just find myself absolutely marveling over how bad that movie is goddamnwhen you think about it it's actually pretty fucked up that luke skywalker didn't give any of his life force over t… @DrDickDelaware @garbagexhuman solidarity foreverIn honor of Toshiro Mifune's birthday, here's the most insane letterboxd review I've ever read
Retweeted by tres deancan't believe there was a dude on the 2000 australia national rugby team named stirling mortlock, what you gonna do stirling file my taxes?sodamn pretty I liked it
Retweeted by tres deanMore than 150 independent movie theaters across the country have closed to slow the spread of COVID-19. We’ve set u…
Retweeted by tres deanlove to shake my head in dismay at the number of instagram followers caroline calloway still has and then set a rem… @megschuster texting my therapist to see if we can move our next skype meeting up to this afternoon @katehalliwell closest i've come in a while to doing an actual spit takeno one: c*roline c*lloway:
Retweeted by tres dean @stefabsky the aynchent mewi keep having panic attacks, also i can’t stop doing push ups
Retweeted by tres deanthis quote giving me "Nick Young turning confidently and triumphantly after shooting a 3 pointer that slowly and un…
Retweeted by tres dean @EpicureanDeal @mikiebarb
Retweeted by tres dean @joshixson @JazzlynStone Yeah that book is maybe the single best example of utilizing the medium to do things you c… next time you need an excuse to dunk on poor people at least google population numbers before you do it so you… @DonnieFxckinD get him crispy lola friend has already made this point but two miles is nothing in the south like, my mom lives in moderately popula… it when rich liberals forget to pretend they don’t hate poor people for a secondhow did I immediately know this dude worked for some fuckin New York media establishment like my smile and I’m really scared of the only solution at this point possibly fucking it up ughit’s wild how if all of this weren’t going on I could just call up a dentist to get the worrisome stuff looked at a… I realize he must have been on a different transport @StopGrammarTime tiger saw a mansaw a tiger @patrickhwillems hes right @NeeVaaaDa Oh man this episode is a trip @JimJarmuschHair I so vividly remember a tweet of its progression during the postseason that described Love’s journ… shit Elon Musk donated sleep apnea machines instead of ventilators jfc
Retweeted by tres dean
@killswitchkatie man that show was fun as hell @GerryDuggan @therightram no, see, i'm only burning my half pandemic is truly creating a second golden age of getting sent email and text chains by your parents @BBW_BFF @JorCru *kool-aid manning through a wall* Holland March what? a little house in it
Retweeted by tres deanI've updated this list with several important changes - for example, John Wick: Chapter 3, The Nice Guys, & Out of…
Retweeted by tres deanThis book is a: #1 Library Reads Pick #1 Kirkus Reviews Pick Indie Next List Pick Amazon Best of the Month Pick w/…
Retweeted by tres dean @HannahLilNessen honestly though this whole sequence is one of the better-edited moments in the history of the show.kerin and i have three conversations about this since we started binging like four entire seasons in the… @laurenmoran LET'S DO IT @laurenmoran BENCHPRESS ME @ivynoelle yeah you gotta throw in the towelnathan could help the Night King build a more effective and less harmful business model but arya could never find f…'t meme shawmila again it's what they want don't give it to them!
Retweeted by tres deanthis guy's texting your girl at 3AM wyd?