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❤️ 🍓, cooking, people with ❤️ , 🔥 in the ❄️, the call of loons, 🌊, cuddles 🥰 😘, mom’s 🍝, 🧊 🍺, 🔥 🤚, nerds, 🧪, and 🪐 . she/her, BLM, #loveislove

3,969 Following   9,039 Followers   54,435 Tweets

Joined Twitter 8/15/19

@ln0217 @Lance_Said_This is this you? @Mrgoldenrod Omg ... I am an owl cat. Meowl? @greeneyed_meg Brains. 100%What’s something other than looks you find super hot? I am REALLY into voices.
Retweeted by TroubleI'm not sorry I ache when you're gone. I'm not sorry that I'd do it all again.
Retweeted by Trouble @55Carburetor @fozzie4prez ? What say you? Is it? @TomE83_ Ok fine I’ll continue.I love your account! You are hilarious! Well, until you stop retweeting me of course.
Retweeted by TroubleAs a thank you for dumping me here's a mixtape of all the songs that you've ruined.
Retweeted by TroubleSteak bites and Tater chips coming up
Retweeted by Trouble @Mrgoldenrod True! I am a stupid night owl. But there it is. Lol.Lame claim to music fame: My 3rd cousin, Lance was the smoking toddler model for Van Halen's 1984 album cover
Retweeted by Trouble @13murphy66 @runningman20 Thin for me. And well done.Which do you belong to? Team Insomnia 🥺 Team Night Owl 🦉 Team Early Bird 🐦 Team Cocaine 👃
Retweeted by Trouble @Mrgoldenrod 🦉Have to go into the office on Monday and already stressing out on where my good sweatpants are
Retweeted by TroubleThe Guardian ❤ Credit : (italian_cane_corso) via @VG_Stef
Retweeted by TroubleCommunication with best friend ❤🐾 (bykaylamott4/tiktok)
Retweeted by TroubleI have loose lips but have yet to sink a single ship, this is bullshit
Retweeted by TroubleHR says I’m no longer allowed to answer the phone with “for fuck sake, what now”
Retweeted by TroubleA guy called me a stupid fucking bitch today. That's DOCTOR Stupid Fucking Bitch to you mate 🔥
Retweeted by Trouble @nutsaremixed @Chelle_Coops Happy birthday Chelle! Hope it is fabulous ❤️❤️❤️The early bird does in fact get the worm. Worms for breakfast are disgusting. I know this now.
Retweeted by TroubleI'm just sitting here wondering why you're not touching me.
Retweeted by TroubleSo are we skipping Valentine’s Day for a second Halloween or nah?
Retweeted by TroubleI can tell some of you haven’t gotten laid in a lot longer than I have.
Retweeted by Trouble @steveffootball Looks cozy!When a dude makes noise during ejaculation, he’s giving testesmoany
Retweeted by TroubleAre clits just dicks in disguise?
Retweeted by TroubleAre you telling me that oats are raisin these cookies?!
Retweeted by TroublePov: you wake up and the dog has moved all the cushions onto one sofa
Retweeted by TroubleThe best room in Downton Abbey was the sex dungeon.
Retweeted by TroubleRight, in honour of the fact that I'm stuck at home all day with the kids, this is a tweet call. No theme, no max s…
Retweeted by Trouble @CharmingGrump Yeah. But still wasting time.Egad! Amazing stuff! @whatyawant3 was trophied by @troubleinheels1. It's so fetch!
Retweeted by Trouble @whatyawant3 @damnfinetweet You’re welcome! But it’s criminal. You’re funny as fuck. @fozzie4prez Lol. Lose lose I would prefer. @pj2the_c_f @steveffootball Want > need in all things. Steak sauce and sex in particular.The sudden mood swings of being perfectly fine to nail biting anxiety while looking for a job are getting kind of old.
Retweeted by TroubleIf I've ever said anything to offend you, you were probably born at the end of the 90's
Retweeted by Trouble @but_1stcoffee Bahaha 🍷Also true
Retweeted by TroubleDrinking positives. Waking up in the morning and reading your own tweets and laughing like someone else wrote them.🤭
Retweeted by Trouble @LilBit_1999 @80sjams Haha sounds like it contains chicken though.“... Everytime I comb my hair Thoughts of you get in my eyes You're a sinner, I don't care I just want your creamy thighs...”
Retweeted by Troublethe introvert and extrovert in me are both screaming in this quarantine but for very different reasons
Retweeted by Trouble @grumpy_geek18 BooI’m so tired I can barely keep my eyes open. So I fully expect to put my phone down and be wide awake.
Retweeted by TroubleWhen I make someone laugh or smile, I take it as a win. I will not ever think otherwise 😁
Retweeted by Trouble @steveffootball Cap Jesus 🤤Combo NY Strip and Ribeye Steak Bites with choice of creamy garlic mashed potatoes or crispy homemade tater chips 😎
Retweeted by Trouble @mackalodon @YellowbirdSauce Mack that looks white cheddar, scrambled eggs, chopped fried bacon, tortillas w butter, sour cream, with a @YellowbirdSauce b…
Retweeted by Troublefor those keeping track, I went w squats, lunges, and crunches instead... fuck those stairs
Retweeted by TroubleKraft Deluxe mac & cheese, my ass... I cooked it, but the cheese packet never dissolved
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@whatyawant3 Lololol. I was hoping it was something else. Go Carl!All we could hear on the Zoom call was Carl mixing mac and cheese. At least that is what we're hoping it was.
Retweeted by TroubleTeach liquor store employees how to administer the vaccine and we’ll reach herd immunity in 72 hours
Retweeted by TroubleOne thing about Larry King, he wasn't afraid to ask the tough questions, like "will you marry me?"
Retweeted by Trouble @PyJamieParty Nah they just get tired of freezing.He was rare, like someone who knows the difference between “there”, “their” and “they’re”.
Retweeted by TroubleI’ve accepted this eye twitch as a part of who I am now.
Retweeted by Trouble @Hammyinmiami YupIs everyone on dark mode?
Retweeted by TroubleI dunno man, when I eat asparagus my piss doesn't taste any different
Retweeted by TroubleIf you find my tweets a little off-putting, just remember that your grandma has jerked off your grandad. It should…
Retweeted by TroubleIn hindsight, an eagle au pair wasn't the best idea
Retweeted by Trouble @Vintrouble I am just all over the place! Crazy. And probably not tasty. Lol. @SvnSxty @Darlainky @thearibradford @BigJDubz @ChicksRule @girlwit0filter @geekysteven @Lottie_Poppie @TheWinegasm"I can function perfectly well on four hours a night" - Me, in no way functioning perfectly well
Retweeted by Trouble"I can function perfectly well on 2.5 hours per night" - Me, bargaining with netflix
Retweeted by TroubleSon: *looking through dvds* what are these? Me: they're movies, bring one here and I'll tell you what it's about…
Retweeted by Troublethe ladies call me "white chocolate" because I'm just awful
Retweeted by Trouble @CharmingGrump Wow this chick should just teach you the material. Who needs her clearly selfish life story. @Vintrouble Moi! @CharmingGrump What the hell is she teaching you? @RolandoTaCoS I consider it more of a calling or vocation myself. @hermanntrude It’s called charcoalHas anyone tried baking potatoes three times yet?
Retweeted by Trouble*in bed* Wife: *puts her hand on my hip* hey baby Me: *excitedly* yes? Wife: roll over on your side so your snor…
Retweeted by TroubleI've developed a sweet tooth recently. While it makes me gain weight, I can also enjoy the fact that it makes my… Flakes fortified with 11 essential vitamins and cocaine.
Retweeted by Trouble @whatyawant3 It’s definitely a Gouda one"I'm eating cheese" is a sext, right?
Retweeted by TroubleNASA should put the Bernie meme in every photo from Mars.
Retweeted by TroubleTo my new followers. Still making bad life choices I see.
Retweeted by Trouble @steveffootball Bravo Steve! @bankofskol2 How are you going to keep the cheese warm? You don’t want a chafing dish - chafing of the thighs sucks. @whatyawant3 @aster7_m @Wexamillion Doo doo doo*serenades you by candlelight with my kazoo
Retweeted by TroubleTimeline cleanser: Wait for it...
Retweeted by TroubleHold her hand in public you fucking monster.
Retweeted by TroubleI’m wearing my The Office underwear today so watch out you ignorant sluts.
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Retweeted by TroublePeople have way too much time on their hands And I say this as someone who’s currently unemployed and has way too much time on his hands
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Retweeted by TroubleBaby Alf was to follow Baby Yoda, but the cat ate him
Retweeted by TroubleI’m so glad he came! He’d say he come if he only had my provide some pickles in a jar and some soup with salad…
Retweeted by TroubleGirl you Amazon, cause you can have my package overnight!
Retweeted by Trouble