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Author of How Not to Do Things (Surface Popper, 2017), AFCC Writing Fellow, host of Opera Betty on @WOMRradio, cultural menace.

650 Following   536 Followers   5,049 Tweets

Joined Twitter 7/12/09


@somaticdreamer @thismamatweets I miss you two too! I'm taking a workshop with Pam Houston this week and she remind… https://t.co/qqCmMio0Ib
7/16
2020
@wishastudios Thank you, Erica! xoWe are becoming better dogs. https://t.co/WLsf2QByij
7/5
2020
@outsideeye *pleads the 5th* @outsideeye I was like "ooh quarantine! I'll get those Christmas cards out!" It hasn't happened.The great thing about having to wear a mask at the grocery store is no one is sure it's you singing along to #TalkingHeads #andshewas
7/1
2020
So this one time last year I did a "clean out your crap" thing with @kelly_carlin and I am pleased to report I have… https://t.co/JfedZxDp4Z
3/29
2020
I'm running out of video conference-worthy pajamas.
3/26
2020
Would someone please make a new @soundgarden #spoonman video with @bonappetit clips of Chris Morocco?
3/24
2020
It is too early for me to be seeing all these posts about cutting your own bangs pace yourselves my friends
Retweeted by Susan BloodWhen I imagined getting my house clean while sequestered I didn't factor in these humans home all the time, existing all over the place.
3/17
2020
@bethdunn Absolutely.I have only recently stopped watering plastic plants. https://t.co/YiLaBCkMLd
2/27
2020
Stole the crown jewels. https://t.co/XyFgc09SpxYou will love Kelly. Vigorously endorsed. https://t.co/JCYBP8cO0p
1/23
2020
I burned my toe making mac and cheese.
1/21
2019
I have a column in @PtownIndie this week, in which I disclose what goes on here at Christmas. It's literally not pr… https://t.co/w8rOHT9bWz
12/20
2019
Essays written and I have five hours to decide what to wear. It's going to be a good day. @WOMRradio @Handmade_USA https://t.co/YarRhBs20O
12/12
2019
I would buy an @elizmccracken Bowlaway bowling bag in a hot second. Or shoes. Shoes would be good. https://t.co/bRqbBbgup5
11/4
2019
@kelly_carlin We were just talking about this book at dinner. It's in the air.I got it rolling. I dare you to outbid me. https://t.co/eQ6Ml5XhgI
10/28
2019
@thismamatweets @kelly_carlin @somaticdreamer I would hire that driver in a hot second.
10/24
2019
@kelly_carlin @thismamatweets @somaticdreamer Yes please!
10/19
2019
@somaticdreamer @thismamatweets @kelly_carlin Oooh, me too!
9/26
2019
*Considers cancelling hair appointment because why *Browses Pinterest for new cuts *Sleeps on doorstep of salon
9/1
2019
Oh wait, this IS my beautiful house. https://t.co/JN8xZF5EgZ
8/24
2019
Robyn Hitchcock and XTC’s Andy Partridge announce collaborative EP as Planet England https://t.co/N7yVENUToc https://t.co/AjeJoHKxop
Retweeted by Susan Blood
8/4
2019
A night of Beckett @WHATorg. It's been a Beckett couple of weeks. https://t.co/MUqfQo0Zxw
8/3
2019
The cat is asleep on my grocery list so it looks like another week of take-out.
7/28
2019
See also: Tiggywinkles Wildlife Nurse. https://t.co/dirhEF9RJtThis summer I'm reframing "Tourist Fatigue" as "Massive Influx of Income to the Region." #UsingMyWords
7/7
2019
@wishastudios @benshotme @willdailey @InsaneTony1 @LettersToCleo was the first live band I heard on the Cape - in t… https://t.co/sKeaPjZOBP
6/22
2019
@plathitude I hear you. I grew up in Colorado, so it's a new obsession for me.Peony blossoms are the First Day of School pix of summer. https://t.co/mGwUB4vlJc
6/18
2019
@TheBloggess They just let the demons go right back up their noses in Japan? Do they want them there?
6/13
2019
Jackie Davis and Rebecca Alvin talk Mamet. https://t.co/ZIILeSnDyd
6/6
2019
We're seeking a full time Publishing and Administrative Assistant in our New York office. This job is a phenomenal… https://t.co/ZFeMQG9fu0
Retweeted by Susan Blood
5/30
2019
The 2019 Word of the Year is "cohort" (noun). Please dispose of "curate" and "bespoke" responsibly.
5/25
2019
My first ever smiley face hand drawn on a package shipped from a company not related to me by blood or friendship.… https://t.co/l6qlRtit8b
5/24
2019
Somehow the examples of Gesundheit and Yahtzee did not help my family help me remember the word "eureka."
5/10
2019
@kelly_carlin And its sister: "What would you do if you knew the deck was stacked in your favor?"
5/4
2019
@daphneolive You are tangled in my hair and my heart, pretty much all the time. @daphneolive @ProvincetownLib Right?!? So fun. It ends Sunday. It has given me a whole new appreciation for the book. Grateful.I don't know what you're supposed to wear to read at a #mobydickmarathon at @ProvincetownLib but I know it starts w… https://t.co/ka0YLqakKE
4/27
2019
Oooh Nelly, people around here are RILED at @StopandShop. Will they have customers when it's over? The support is widespread and fierce.
4/17
2019
Today I washed and dried my long linen curtains because tall people do not hem things, they shrink them.
4/14
2019
Such big news! and it's TOTALLY buried on facebook by a picture of me and a bestie eating entire pints of Ben & Jer… https://t.co/Aj1eYLURzK
4/4
2019
@VirginiaPye Kids made me value my time. Not because I suddenly had none (although that too) but because if I was g… https://t.co/lfqqNzSi3E
3/15
2019
🎤 Paging all musicians: Submit a song to #TinyDeskContest by April 14. After @nprmusic's national contest is over… https://t.co/mlQlqdhloF
Retweeted by Susan Blood
3/13
2019
I'm working in a coffee shop, plugged into the Coffitivity app because when life imitates apps it sounds like a bun… https://t.co/gZC5UT0psA
3/6
2019
@kelvin069 @thismamatweets Oh that looks amazing. I'm hungry all over again.
3/4
2019
High school age writers! A great opportunity: https://t.co/8gzMzPPDE4
Retweeted by Susan Blood
3/1
2019
Our Lyft driver in Nashville: "Yeah, I know that hotel. When I was a cop I got called there all the time."
2/23
2019
New goal: finish your novel before every insect in the world dies.
Retweeted by Susan Blood @thismamatweets @kelly_carlin @kelvin069 I think I would like to start every day with this.
2/12
2019
@thismamatweets @kelly_carlin @kelvin069 Also a hoarder. But we were just talking about how books hit you different… https://t.co/V8hqbo9an9
2/9
2019
@daphneolive MEERCATS!In case you need a new Valentine's Day tradition. https://t.co/M83chCb0pe @wishastudios There will be brie at my monastery. (I haven't worked the rest of it out yet.)
2/8
2019
@chana_snyder @wishastudios Oooooh, I wish we had involved a Sharpie.
2/4
2019
Sometimes you just have to rip it all out. https://t.co/qug9CNTQGC
1/31
2019
@wishastudios 🙏♥😍
1/29
2019
@thismamatweets 😍♥🙏I made a video about my time in the dune shack last fall, and the lost art of watching bugs on windowpanes. https://t.co/r98MNmSHRw
1/22
2019
@kelvin069 @thismamatweets @kelly_carlin @summerbrennan Heartbroken. This requires a full on Oliver bender.
1/17
2019
@kelly_carlin Chandler sends his love! He's here, about to live stream with The Catbirds. (4pm your time: https://t.co/Yn9roIyjOE)DC/Baltimore friends, I wish I could go hear Tyrese Coleman with you. Loved "How to Sit." https://t.co/QqzhNcBpiX
1/15
2019
Mike is one of the kindest, most generous people I know. Every bit helps. We are each other's safety net, and we ar… https://t.co/OTOp1C15DO
1/13
2019
1. The Family Pantry is happy to accept any Coast Guard family who has been impacted by the government shut down.… https://t.co/n18KDqtqRC
Retweeted by Susan Blood
1/12
2019
I super loved this last year. I think you might, too. https://t.co/i0jkO2OW7D @elizmccracken @Paul_Lisicky Making popcorn.I read all night and then had literary fiction dreams. There is nothing worse than literary fiction dreams.
1/8
2018
I'm looking for operas written by women for my International Women's Day show on @WOMRradio. Suggestions? Ideas?
Retweeted by Susan Blood
12/29
2018
Last night Ira Wood and I did a reading of awkward holiday essays to benefit WOMR . Here's one of mine: https://t.co/IiB9QTQxuA
12/28
2018
@onlyangi Your Superior Ornament has been "out for delivery" for the last 4 days :( It is safe to say you will rece… https://t.co/XxXy5rq0il
12/24
2018
@missbanshee Apparently you are not alone. @missbanshee Once when we were snorkeling I swam up beside my sister and tapped on her mask and I thought she would drown us both.
12/13
2018
@CCValet Found the skirt so now just down a super hero cape.Today I spend half an hour nodding and smiling on the radio. It was one of my better interviews. @CCValet Which? Super hero capes or tree skirts?
12/11
2018
I can't find our tree skirt so obviously it was turned into a super hero cape as part of a New Year's resolution.
12/10
2018
I'm asking our Thanksgiving guests to come early and help me clean up for them.The pieces are designed so children step on them. https://t.co/qtrTLDsIGY
11/19
2018
@thismamatweets Thanks! The whole "make people unhappy with what they have" thing makes me insane. Chill out and digest your turkey.ICYMI (or if you need a gentle reminder): Love what you have. <3 https://t.co/zrgbpONBZD
11/16
2018
Sometimes you need quantum physics to navigate losing a friend, ally, and beacon. Take what works. Leave the rest.… https://t.co/dp8KZu10Py
11/12
2018
If you don't vote, you can't complain. Never squander the right to complain.
11/5
2018
Dear Trick-or-Treaters, We've been putting out this same bowl of candy for the last 6 years. Take as much as you'd like.
10/31
2018
I was on a panel today and I have no idea what I said. There was rambling. Stories were told. It's a good thing I don't drink. @wishastudios xoxoxox
10/19
2018
Parking lot post! Written at the side of the road on my way to work. Perhaps you can relate. https://t.co/kK3IPBYajD
10/18
2018
Me: Goats! friends! barn blessings! snacks! yay! The boy child: https://t.co/onWyyMoEil
10/16
2018
I will be grateful to @artsfoundofcc all my days for granting me this space to work. There are no words (beside the… https://t.co/oPiQxxkgBJ
10/13
2018
Dune shack tv https://t.co/cNRoqAgK1JOf course! So pleased you asked. Love it already. https://t.co/2qNpAb71ad
10/12
2018
@thismamatweets Nose away! I like it too. empty but not lonely. @thismamatweets :( @thismamatweets Missed you musing tonight.Goodnight, lovelies. #duneshack #capecodnps #nationalseashore https://t.co/QRL1aO7y89
10/11
2018
The Birds https://t.co/fTJQ3cmOcg
10/10
2018

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