Sign in with Twitter


Jessica Alba Fantastic @turnandstomp Holiday Heart's Wig Closet

Petty & Pilates

1,869 Following   4,597 Followers   292,409 Tweets

Joined Twitter 3/9/09

Our kings have a holiday special! @rossleonardy @jxeker Holleringggggf @weedgummy Ugh I need that jumperNot my fault y’all keep falling for it @zj_slack You good? @zj_slack HoneyHow is working out without a gym proving that you need a gym to workout?
Retweeted by Jessica Alba FantasticI don't care if this happened in Florida, it's Philadelphia inside every single Wawa in the world. It's like an emb…
Retweeted by Jessica Alba Fantastic @_purapari It’s almost brilliantHow in the hell??? hates collared greens????!Well I.... I WASNT FUCKIN READY FOR THE END DJDJJDKDKDKDKZ
MA’AM is Diana shorter than Charles in this show????YALL ARE SPENDING 900 BUCKS A MONTH ON WEED?!i’m sorry but this is so funny
Retweeted by Jessica Alba FantasticIs this...was this created just for me? and soft scrambled then follow it up with “you’re worried about album sales but should be worried about that hairline and 401k, si… 😂😂😂
Retweeted by Jessica Alba FantasticAncestors said
Retweeted by Jessica Alba Fantastic @YungYinkv LmaoooooNot y’all calling D Wavey “elderly” @rossleonardy I know....Yes I qualified for the free therapy (she even insisted) and no I did not go to any of the sessions because those 2… walked into that office with a ginger pep in my step and left lookin like my dog just died after less than 30 mins hssjjsjsjzjzkzkzk.Her: So do you think that affected you negatively? Me: No, I’m dealing. Her: uh huh....when was the last time you… I watched someone die at my job I had to talk to someone at work who wasn’t even an actual therapist but a cr… can’t they tell when your ass is hiding and lying about shit??? a white cuban dhjsjsjsjsjsj y’all were BULLIED bullied in high school @WiizardFiish I thought I was seeing thingsChristie Carlson Romano is WYLIN QUAKE GIRL. you don’t have to micrdose just do the dishes
Retweeted by Jessica Alba FantasticThe fact I saw this man on Hinge and went on a downward spiral udhfjgkvohphobojn thinking about this would make SUCH a good Nancy in a Broadway revival of OliverThinking about Ruthie Henshall @chocobohomoWhomst is The king on the right omg @th3saddestangel THIS VIDEOOmg this is how fucking stupid I sound when talking about men @fauxdeity Yeah I’mma just age lmaoHe said “I’m not to blame for your problems, uglee” djsjjsksksksk god I live fact they don’t even let the shit settle before they get more jsjskskskkss fact I’ve had to unfollow so many LA himbos because all the juviderm has made their faces look like literal Purge Halloween masksWAIT LMAO men think about sucking dick more than i ever have in my life.
Retweeted by Jessica Alba FantasticGetting back into the Magdalene album, handing Chris Evans his cockring
Retweeted by Jessica Alba FantasticI remember when I was talking to the man of my fuckin dreams and he let it out that he just made a Twitter. I was D… @YungYinkv It’s what ole girl says in the beginning of the song lmaoNsnsjjsjsjsjsjsjs pls indeedy KA CHAMAN! be all NOCHE!!!!
Retweeted by Jessica Alba Fantastic
Retweeted by Jessica Alba Fantastic @rossleonardy GEEYATDAYUMIf you’re still planning on going home for a big Thanksgiving with your family,
Retweeted by Jessica Alba FantasticGirl what?! messy Mary lmao Kennedy walked into Buckingham Palace and said
Retweeted by Jessica Alba FantasticThis is racist. I will not elaborate
Retweeted by Jessica Alba FantasticThis is still sending me because’re gonna get ghosted and ignored just how you were prepandemic. Lmao stay your ass inside.I’ll air this entire bitch out how fuckin uncomfortable the other kids in this class were
Retweeted by Jessica Alba FantasticChile, get the fuck over yourself I’m here
Retweeted by Jessica Alba Fantastica teacher from my high school got married on tv and the COMMENTS omfg 😭🥴
Retweeted by Jessica Alba Fantastic @NJDG WORKINGSimply because we can. big part of COVID’s spread in America is y’all unhealthy relationship with alcohol. I been in my house getting ba…
Retweeted by Jessica Alba FantasticHad her red pumps on everybody’s neck - ESPECIALLY Usagi’s.
LOL this took me out
Retweeted by Jessica Alba FantasticWHAT IN BLACK HELL?! going on lockdown again???I GASPED @sexidance It’s devastating and still freshNo but that track sends me on a downward spiral every time. Just who does Banks think she is???Banks - Under The Table🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃y’all im screaming i just got back from doing covid tests and i didn’t know that you had to have a car and do the t…
Retweeted by Jessica Alba Fantastic @OrangePaulp Kevin being THE DOLL @rossleonardy @Remdelarem @yosoymichael The absolute gallI REMEMBER THIS EPISODE DJDJSJSJSJSJSKS GOD I SVU WAS HELL @yosoymichael Chile I really forgot it’s been so long me matching hijabs with queen elizabeth 😭😭
Retweeted by Jessica Alba FantasticTHIS HO KNEW HER FUCKIN SON WAS SICK IN THE HEAD AND NEEDED HELP AND SHE DIDNT DO SHIT?????Hajsjsksksksosksk how is this legal????? @ThatBKGurl WHAT?!you ate her up boo
Retweeted by Jessica Alba FantasticMess. the least severe and dreary royal child being the fucking pedophile bsjsjsjsksksksksk @socialistjordie OF COURSE HE IS