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WestCoastPat @WestCoastPat Los Angeles, CA

I just want to scream hellooooooooo / Padres, Leafs, LAFC, Angel City FC, Lakers, Chargers / He/Him

791 Following   264 Followers   19,168 Tweets

Joined Twitter 2/26/09

funniest thing that’s happened to me in 2021 so far: i asked a friend how she’s doing and she texted back, “i no longer discuss such things”
Retweeted by WestCoastPatThe least essential 49 year old in LA jumped the line after promising not to
Retweeted by WestCoastPati hope this email sits in your "Priority Inbox" for literal months if not years haunting you
Retweeted by WestCoastPatIf you're feeling rattled about learning that the stock market is a scam, wait until I tell you that money is an illusion
Retweeted by WestCoastPatI don’t always embroider but when I do it’s floral and passive aggressive.
Retweeted by WestCoastPata normal person explains what’s happening on the stock market:
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2021 @McClure_SF Update them in the hopes that things will start working better? @AOC
Retweeted by WestCoastPatHedge funds last week: This week:
Retweeted by WestCoastPatin the movie version of this, who delivers the line “the game stops here”? good guy or bad guy? either way I’m leaning giamatti
Retweeted by WestCoastPat @beerandnosh We’re going to give Scorcese another make-up Oscar?If retail investors want to rally behind something that hedge funds have left for dead, let me tell you about local journalism
Retweeted by WestCoastPatnow we all know a pandemic has to end at some point. but what this country presupposes is... maybe it doesn't?
Retweeted by WestCoastPat"And what are your reasons for wanting out-of-the-money call options on this particular stock?"
Retweeted by WestCoastPat @ShineOBallO @jake_bittle Kristen Wiig. She deserves another shot at a superhero film and tell me she wouldn't slay… State officials are confident skyrocketing rents will soon force the coronavirus to move back to the Mi…
Retweeted by WestCoastPatThe details here are heinous. The Seahawks and the NFL must act swiftly re: Chad Wheeler.
Retweeted by WestCoastPatMutant Covid: Bro, I'm bout to infect you Me: Oh nah, my mask is only down because I'm dining in a restaurant. MC:…
Retweeted by WestCoastPat @jake_bittle @ShineOBallO It’s a bunch of minor villains from the Batman universe as they would have been portrayed in Joker movieTimes like this I miss hanging out with a bunch of statistics PhDs. The rants would be fantastic. @jon_bois @McClure_SF 39 here, so suck it youngin’
you [uneducated]: so the stock market has been fake this whole time me [smart, went to business school]: yes
Retweeted by WestCoastPatThey're still going to try and recall you, you fucking spineless hairdo ghosts, etc.
Retweeted by WestCoastPatsorry over what now
Retweeted by WestCoastPatAccurate
Retweeted by WestCoastPatOnce Rupert Murdoch came to visit the building where I worked as his employee and we were told that if we looked hi…
Retweeted by WestCoastPatNo lies detected
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@dietcokeforever @anntieup your dad wants to show you a website and starts telling you the address:
Retweeted by WestCoastPat @dietcokeforever @anntieup I would request another championship or two, but once his contract is over, I'm all for LeBron the ownerGavin is really Gavin-ing today: "The goal of this announcement is to socialize our projections as well as illumina…
Retweeted by WestCoastPat“Yesterday you were 3 Maskz and now it’s 5 Maskz,” Janet cried. “Where does it stop?” 8 Maskz frowned. “14 Maskz do…
Retweeted by WestCoastPatneed to close the haunted doll factory that keeps producing california politicians.
Retweeted by WestCoastPatHow it started... How it's going...
Retweeted by WestCoastPat @JesseBlake Who should receive a statue first, Jack Campbell or Zach Hyman?But I was told this hamburger would be $38
Retweeted by WestCoastPatWe’re all going to die entry-level job requirements vs millennial entry-level job requirements
Retweeted by WestCoastPat @MerOutLoud I mean, right now. I want my Nylander one too eventually. @MerOutLoud Forget the big four, give me statues of Campbell and HymanJack Campbell is nicknamed Soup because his last name is Campbell, which resembles Campbell's Soup. Ilya Mikheyev i…
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I don’t have many NFL uniform takes, but the Packers look like an NFL team and the Bucs look like a made up team in…
Retweeted by WestCoastPat @beerandpork
“Why don’t you sleep on it” ok now I will lay awake and stress about it all night, sounds great
Retweeted by WestCoastPatHank Scorpio in "The Simpsons" (1996).
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people will really put bernie anywhere but the white house
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I wrote about Philip Rivers.
Retweeted by WestCoastPatordinary people dunking on politicians online: good and funny, praxis politicians dunking on other politicians online: annoying as shit
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Retweeted by WestCoastPat @SavagePCPB Yes, right after burning my tongue, saying “hot!” and breathing harder as though that will help, and th…
Retweeted by WestCoastPatuniting with fascists isn’t good actually and i will not be doing that
Retweeted by WestCoastPatThink my stance on Philip Rivers has been pretty clear over the years. Farewell to a dadgum king.
Retweeted by WestCoastPatat least once a year, i turn on a national event and a-rod will somehow just be there for some reason, fulfilling h…
Retweeted by WestCoastPatBernie dressed like the inauguration is on his to do list today but ain’t his whole day.
Retweeted by WestCoastPatqanon leaders today
Retweeted by WestCoastPattremendous FIRE THE COACH AFTER LOSS TO SUN BELT SCHOOL energy
Retweeted by WestCoastPata direct address to the This Is Fine Dog
Retweeted by WestCoastPatThis video of the NYPD charging and arresting workers on strike for just a $1/hr raise is 10,000 times more politic…
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"what's your business" "i own a chocolate factory" "what's your next product?" "meal replacement gum to solve wor…
Retweeted by WestCoastPatTa-Nehisi Coates on Donald Trump's legacy: “It is still deeply challenging for so many people to accept the reality…
Retweeted by WestCoastPat"We're gonna refer to this whole period as 20-21, like an NBA season" - @McClure_SFhandsome bald actors with sensitive eyebrows and an air of menace, in chart form:
Retweeted by WestCoastPatCalifornia would be better off with the autopilot from Airplane as its senator person you become when you play mariokart is who you really are
Retweeted by WestCoastPat[me teaching high school poetry]: A poem is basically a little book that’s being weird,
Retweeted by WestCoastPatwhen he said the line i was shook
Retweeted by WestCoastPatNever forget this blue check sacrifice.
Retweeted by WestCoastPatMens clothes have lots of pockets cause they need somewhere to keep all the fucking audacity
Retweeted by WestCoastPat @dietcokeforever I keep waiting for them to figure out that real life isn’t The West Wing and it’s never going to happenThis is an Onion article, right? US isn't even a country, it's just three corporations in a trench coat
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Abolish ICE.
Retweeted by WestCoastPat“Be nice to racist people — MLK” — white people on mlk day
Retweeted by WestCoastPatLet's discuss the environmental cost of bitcoin. Because despite all the push for sustainable and green investment…
Retweeted by WestCoastPatThis is a new level of dark this will be awkward if Biden also invites Beck, Hanson, Courtney Love, or Marilyn Manson
Retweeted by WestCoastPatDrew Brees will retire and just own a bunch of bad chain restaurants while Tom Brady is gonna retire and host welln…
Retweeted by WestCoastPatWhen your position is both “People who can’t afford to go to college shouldn’t take out loans to do it” and “People…
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then NFL should be as much like the supreme court as possible. "it's their ball because you fumbled" "but he hit m…
Retweeted by WestCoastPatI can't believe we live in a country where they've managed to convince us that there's no upper limit to what healt…
Retweeted by WestCoastPatBut minimum wage was $7.25 when that picture was taken.
Retweeted by WestCoastPatDo you ever see something on the internet and think, “welp, that’s it, nothing will top it”? This just did it for me
Retweeted by WestCoastPatconservative: so a janitor should make $15 an hour? me: yes conservative: and i guess kids flipping burgers shoul…
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@beerandpork A healed heartevery time the minimum wage comes up like 60% of America reveals that they’re apparently really worried about McDonald’s profit margins
Retweeted by WestCoastPatevery job i did for minimum wage was harder than the job i get paid well for now
Retweeted by WestCoastPat @mollylambert Given that LA County can’t even seem to get it’s healthcare workers vaccinated, I’m not surprised.Just found out the New Jersey lottery's slogan is "Anything can happen in New Jersey" which has to be the first tim…
Retweeted by WestCoastPatHelpful guide to getting around Washington, DC next week.
Retweeted by WestCoastPatYou ever simply clean the lenses of your glasses and just be amazed at how hard you were playing yourself?
Retweeted by WestCoastPatI'm team Billion Ton Lizard Who Shoots Nuclear Fire over Oddly Large Monkey.
Retweeted by WestCoastPatGin is vodka that has become possessed by the spirit of a little victorian ghost
Retweeted by WestCoastPatAs Biden's inauguration approaches, let's remember the Scottish Sunday Herald's preview of Trump's, exactly four ye…
Retweeted by WestCoastPatIf Kim Cattrall doesn’t come back for the SATC reboot lemme play her with no explanation.
Retweeted by WestCoastPat @drewmagary Dr. Drew Manhattan
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In the end, it's simple, fuck $1400, fuck $2000, they need to be sending $2000 monthly and retroactively back to last March.
Retweeted by WestCoastPat"Dog Duck Afternoon"
Retweeted by WestCoastPat