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lead researcher at the coffee-as-a-food-group lobby

252 Following   168 Followers   1,683 Tweets

Joined Twitter 4/9/12


@cavaticat I mean most restaurant MGMT completes one m, just over phone calls, before opening, on a weekday. But I… https://t.co/25UxmC6CJNA customer just called the bar with a last name "McGurt" and I have now completed ULTIMATE shitty customer bingo.
7/5
2020
Internet hive mind...what is the average yearly sticker-on-apple consumption for an American man by age 34?
6/19
2020
@cavaticat It's hard out there for Waggedy Anne @cavaticat #brokenpropeller
6/17
2020
@cavaticat @forensictoxguy @PatrickWeekes Because. I. Can't. See. @cavaticat @forensictoxguy @PatrickWeekes I don't see the humor
6/16
2020
An important Confederate statue that needs to be removed on November 3rd, is Mitch McConnell.
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6/12
2020
I cannot understand why things are opening in town. It’s exciting sure, but as Admiral Ackbar would say… https://t.co/BSXguUd8on
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6/9
2020
@cavaticat I mean that's asking politely. Whomever has sovereignty will be giving it up for 72ish hrs. Do we warn t… https://t.co/Xvd6aPABAu @cavaticat @jason0x21 Open bars Are how we keep our numbers down so we can afford next year's weddings...(don't tel… https://t.co/j82NkyDnLfAerial view shows thousands of people marching in a "peace ride" hosted by the Compton Cowboys in Los Angeles, Cali… https://t.co/HGlQxUnnln
Retweeted by AaronLollllll this show about the Iliad really trying to make Patroclus and Achilles “good friends” and I’m cackling ove… https://t.co/U5Gn0h4fiP
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6/8
2020
The @LGBTCenterRal needs HELPING HANDS today! If you are downtown today check in to see how you can help support t… https://t.co/PMdyLD4FTD
Retweeted by AaronAmerica's policing budget is $115 billion. That's: ● 10 times greater than the CDC ● 12 times greater than the EPA… https://t.co/Nfzm3uqE2k
Retweeted by Aaron😂😂😂😂😂 https://t.co/77CilZ2QUN
Retweeted by Aaronwhat were republicans
Retweeted by Aaron @lizziefoxtv oops
6/6
2020
“Will they televise the cleanup? What narrative will they tell? Will they know it is those of us who love this city… https://t.co/PnOH8trjK0
Retweeted by Aaronnot to be the white asshole who just got here five minutes ago & is already like "I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU DIDN'T KNOW T… https://t.co/IKslmTHVRy
Retweeted by AaronRacism isn’t a touchy topic if you’re not a fucking racist
Retweeted by AaronThese incel cops are now full on cosplaying is that they’re actual military now. Dude said “light em’ up” .... what… https://t.co/M9WzvJYCBK
Retweeted by Aaronhttps://t.co/T6x5ylAzk7
Retweeted by AaronRaleigh, we're never gonna live this down. They called the Cary cops in to help you...smh
5/31
2020
The amount of adults assuming that a restaurant has both control over the weather and responsibilities to broadcast… https://t.co/vURo6pvApf
5/29
2020
Nature is healing. The bearports are opening. https://t.co/YPCjCIcxcJ
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5/24
2020
I just watched a squirrel eat bird poop once, twice and then move on to a third, diverting it's party each time. Ea… https://t.co/2d2m7OmYmA
5/22
2020
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 https://t.co/r21IeBAOzx
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5/20
2020
“I miss 1970s mystery & supernatural TV shows.” — oboes
Retweeted by Aaron @cavaticat @Fiatnox What about just a little ol omission of truth?
5/16
2020
@ChuckWendig Drinking choices and behaviors of fictional characters and fictional service industry ppl can ruin. Mo… https://t.co/kW8aUlHJCO
5/12
2020
Heard @vox make a similar analogy and i needed to polish it with bartender eyes. As I did so, I realized that my jo… https://t.co/Vm0N9S9huGNo one calls for a ride. No one starts eating food. Everyone knows, roughly the many hours it would take to become… https://t.co/JKJiDLgqaIYou and your friends are at a bar. It is not your first or third bar of the night. You range on a scale from can't… https://t.co/ErjAi9Z3kr
5/9
2020
This may the 4th as the world dies all around you and you take solace in pretending that liking the biggest enterta… https://t.co/KQDFspobLy
Retweeted by AaronMarch: 😷 April: 😷👽 May: 😷👽🐝 June: 😷👽🐝 ????
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5/4
2020
They're also offering some really sinister plans for mom-and-pops to delay payments of commission etc til the end o… https://t.co/z7FrYiQnHEscrew this. use grubhub to browse what's nearby then call the places directly. these apps are just leeches, and sup… https://t.co/Z1A39S63Ld
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5/1
2020
@TimSweeneyEpic Me: African or European Swallow? The Navy: UFO!
4/29
2020
Thirty ppl waiting behind you, because everyone was so stir crazy, y'all had to go out, and I'm happy to see you, b… https://t.co/mYg3kqAlyII'm already annoyed for when ad agencies switch from "do at home, as if you were in public" to encouraging EVERYTH… https://t.co/fg2WHsNNXQ
4/28
2020
20 yrs ago Bob Harmon spotted a bone sticking out a cliff side. Bob walked a mile to camp for a folding chair. He s… https://t.co/cjBjMTybP7
Retweeted by Aaron @LizagnaNoodles @cavaticat @BBolander I kinda also have to imagine the doughy, not fluffy breads were still being m… https://t.co/J4WpxMvRAo
4/24
2020
Quarantined stuntmen, bruh... https://t.co/nYSOqzAzBs
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4/23
2020
no idea where this came from but i’ve had it saved on my phone for like 4 years & thought u should see it https://t.co/tN4OpWXoEj
Retweeted by AaronThis will definitely brighten anyone’s day! Smile, pass it on!😊 https://t.co/dVuYfhK42p
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4/22
2020
To be fair, no one protesting stay at home orders look like they can handle a long period of self-reflection
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4/20
2020
With all this talk of imminent 're-opening' across the country, a quick reminder of WHY we're staying at home: 1.… https://t.co/xHdOU95q7s
Retweeted by AaronTHE HERO WE NEED https://t.co/PwKuc3rBx1
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4/19
2020
@cavaticat We were prepared to handle quests involving crime, head trauma, space travel, and the grocery store...all bases covered
4/15
2020
The only good thing about PEEPS is when you put them in the microwave. If you've never done this... You're welcome.… https://t.co/2SLKbmMcBjWeird how religious folks never claim that a pandemic/natural disaster/catastrophy is punishing us for income inequ… https://t.co/5m7A0jhVi6
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4/13
2020
These ppl are fragile. Be careful with them @tntdramaMe: <still going into work every day> there are three days of the week now. Yesterday. Today. Tomorrow. Ppl workin… https://t.co/E6gzozeJI5 @cavaticat Technically, were the best thing BEFORE King Solomons Sliced Bread release. @cavaticat shadrach: <stroking beard, and adjusting extra smedium faded Abba t-shirt> Well...our first band was cal… https://t.co/tXxAjAbpwi
4/12
2020
@cavaticat But we foraged, cooked and ate things just before we played cuz we ARE VERY LITERAL
4/8
2020
@netflix , you mean to tell me that not once, in ANY of the meetings leading up to your release of a show about Fre… https://t.co/kkeNzdzk1CThis is tough. I’d say he’d be best suited for Henry Tilley, Henry Crawford, or a Willoughby or Wickham. Has to be… https://t.co/4SHp0NN1Ld
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4/6
2020
@Ardarakaminskya @cavaticat Ponydudes. They're everywhere. They call you "man"
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4/5
2020
Join Admin B live right now on the Drunk Austen Facebook page!! -R https://t.co/2LA4SN2A6x
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3/29
2020
2000: Chaos wrought by hanging chads in Florida 2020: Chaos wrought by Chads hanging in Florida https://t.co/iJOYrLh8K7
Retweeted by Aaron @hayls_14 Welcome to the back of the bus...cool kids onlyI have discovered a balanced quarantine cocktail that I call the J*m*s*n. Ingredients: Jemisin, Jamison, and Jameso… https://t.co/G2ArTWWXRW
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3/28
2020
@ChuckWendig @cavaticat @MykeCole @TheOperaGeek @SamSykesSwears that would be the a rodent brew for sure. But to be… https://t.co/2H374Cc4Z8 @cavaticat @MykeCole @ChuckWendig @TheOperaGeek @SamSykesSwears this joke completes me
3/27
2020
Did you hear? We’ve added hand tossed wings to our pickup & delivery options. Open from 11am-11pm every day! https://t.co/H8IU2STrxOWe’re excited about our new burger and 6 pack special! You get the choice of any two burgers with a side of fries a… https://t.co/c0FCqwp9a6
3/26
2020
Big baby: Amahle, a two-month old baby hippo, is closely monitored by her mom, Funani at the San Diego Zoo. https://t.co/riMifHeysF #odd
Retweeted by AaronAnd also a list of places to get groceries and supplies locally, including @WeaverStreet, @Dram_Draught's Dram Grog… https://t.co/uhe598M7m2
Retweeted by AaronI'mma make toilet paper with the lyrics to I Will Survive on the sheets. You can Venmo me now...
3/25
2020
Please do not take medical advice from a man who looked directly at a solar eclipse.
Retweeted by AaronThis was a weird #paleostream. Batman as Latenivenatrix, Catwoman as Stenoychosaurus and Robin as Saurornitholestes… https://t.co/5cFg2v7QGU
Retweeted by Aaronextremely creepy that this tweet happened minutes after @whtdramsmaycome and I were reminiscing about the old Merli… https://t.co/KXqlxwKsWY
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3/24
2020
In relation to the last pic. Utharaptor would fuck you up in a instance https://t.co/E05F5BGc3t
Retweeted by Aaron @AlexanderDSoSo @cavaticat But...did you make sure you did your attempts over an empty tortilla? @cavaticat <checks> THIS TECHNIQUE STILL WORKS @cavaticat A taco-yoda meme once told me to eat my tacos over an open and empty tortilla. So that when you finish y… https://t.co/lK9zqi5Cku
3/23
2020
@lizziefoxtv Also I keep thinking how many of these idiots won't make it for space travel if we have to leave this… https://t.co/WjwayTeTAK @lizziefoxtv SAMEDr. Emily Landon with University of Chicago-Medicine speaking on Illinois residents sheltering-in-place: “It’s real… https://t.co/A8dqGaITpm
Retweeted by AaronI learned this sonnet when I was 16 and never forgot a word of it. Thank you, @SirPatStew, for this gift to us all. https://t.co/dauIWRJfSh
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3/22
2020
Here are a few stories that have less to do with the very real medical or economic aspects of this crisis, and more… https://t.co/Oh038qeLhJ
Retweeted by Aaron @hayls_14 It's a good thing you kick ass or I'd be worried!
3/21
2020
@MyFriendCamilo @cavaticat My regular intake is 1oz fernet Branca and 1oz campari, on the rocks.
3/19
2020
NO ONE SHOULD HAVE TO APPLY FOR UNEMPLYOMENT DURING A PANDEMIC OR CRISIS. WHY CANT WE HAVE SICK PAID OR HAVE UTILIT… https://t.co/yIcLyHri4t
Retweeted by Aaron @WakeGOV unemployment website keeps going down and all of my former employees are pretty scared. Hope you have someone working on this.Can't believe the first COVID celebrity death was Vanessa Hudgens' career
Retweeted by AaronWatch this & remember that it took 45 a reckless 55 days to acknowledge this is Pandemic In that time: •107 Americ… https://t.co/vs6w1aUi0E
Retweeted by Aaronclose your eyes. imagine how you think a penguin walks down stairs. wrong. it’s better than that https://t.co/fYzoiin5vb
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3/18
2020
New @NC_Governor executive order also expands unemployment insurance: • Removes waiting period and requirement to… https://t.co/J2guIlaTNc
Retweeted by AaronQuarantine day 69: https://t.co/IPWOURuWvn
Retweeted by Aaron @MyFriendCamilo @cavaticat I don't know when they started making it, but it was only within reach and mention here… https://t.co/r43Xlqpcbf @MrCoolFacts @cavaticat @MyFriendCamilo fair Also Ohio had a war with Michigan for Toledo...soooooo @cavaticat @MyFriendCamilo I take back my lifetime of "Ohio is the worst state ever," because Mike Pence is still a… https://t.co/iGp9Ezv5Zg @cavaticat @MyFriendCamilo if Indiana had more people or big cities we'd be a much larger armpit sphincter than we… https://t.co/iP68vN5axk @cavaticat @MyFriendCamilo You knew i was making pad thai. You didn't know I was having a fernet at the same time, because I can #multitask. @MyFriendCamilo @cavaticat Favorite all time amaro, and runner up for second or third all time favorite liquid, is… https://t.co/coazOWBbG8 @cavaticat @MyFriendCamilo Cynar and Fernet are sorta down the same herbal, almost minty and and dry/bitter path. C… https://t.co/vBHbYAui3s
3/17
2020

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