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Will Nett @will_nett 54.5753° N, 1.2342° W

Author. Traveller. Semi-retired dreamboat. Dickhead intolerant. Speaks great bad French.

370 Following   221 Followers   1,301 Tweets

Joined Twitter 10/26/13

"I know words. I know the best words." @Sixth_Element #bunkerbooks @Bob_Fischer @BBCTees Silly Games trivia; apparently co-written by master art forger John Myatt.Grew a full beard during @Peston question at today's covid briefing. #coronavirusqaMy attempt to 'sort out the tinfoil' has turned into a scene from Terminator 2. @BBCTees @PeteBarronMedia 'Fur richer; fur purr-er'
@nalaknip I bet he's still talking, now...
@msloobylou Thank goodness her bio makes clear that she despises animal cruelty, in case we thought she was in favour of animal cruelty. @Bob_Fischer @BBCTees Spin the whole of 'Wizzard Brew'We're almost halfway through; haven't heard from anyone, yet. How's it working out so far?
@90sfootball Andy Cole in a Nottingham fishmarket. I've got them somewhere in old mags. @nalaknip Now you mention it, my 'Slam wins really tailed off when I started wearing them. @nalaknip This has just reminded that I used to wear something called 'Mizuno' I thought they were bees knees. @nalaknip Teamed with a Superdry t-shirt; a great look.
@NclUtd_Memories Peter Beardsley while I was dredging a beck. @msloobylou Just recommend a book to them. They'll soon disappear. Works every time.
@real_meaning Not a clue; I've written 3 since, and the first one was by far the most fun I've had writing. @slowbones @utb_smith Another mug, dazzled by the illusion of Tory prosperity, to be added to a very long list.'Roses are red; Heinz make spaghettis.... @outonbluesix Gotye 'Somebody That I Used To Know'
@PobertReston @BorisJohnson Don't forget to bring it up next to you get to question him. Which you won't.Hi #writers, are you based in Teesside? We're putting together an online directory of #authors who are based in the…
Retweeted by Will Nett @Flying_Inside Good listen; I could just about hear it over the thunderous god-awful hip hop coming from next door's garden @TeessideLive Are the bus stop and knickers thing related?
@stephbreakfast Not so much cutlery, but there's been some heated exchanges regarding the communal office toothbrush.
@thomas_dickson9 I might use that in the reviews, if you don't mind; "aye; it's alright, mate" 😂Teessider - English - British
Retweeted by Will Nett @thomas_dickson9 I hear it's a good read... @jamiesmart A Town Called Panic
"Well, officer; I thought I'd just go for a whizz down the road. My eyes were a bit sore. How are they now?" he's just the warm-up act; good look with the main event PM!Funerals - no Automobile based eye tests - absolutely
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@PaulMaynardUK @SteveBakerHW @SirRogerGale You lot; fall in line and get back to enforcing policy dictated by Domin… @piersmorgan You've already voted for him, Piers; you've served your purpose. Off you go. @chrisdeerin Stumpy from Spinal Tap @michaelglasper Rather more alarmingly; @DominicCumins appears on p26 frame 4 of 'Lotus Bleu' presumably en route t…
After a socially distanced garden drink with a neighbour, his 'right; fuck off I'm going to bed' music choice was… @hendopolis As a known 'lover visitor' Johnson knows what he's talking about here. @DehennaDavison Somebody frame this tweet and hang it on the wall.On tour
Retweeted by Will Nett @grantshapps Can you give some of those cycling vouchers to Dominic Cummings. He'll be on his bike soon enough. @Fenmonkey @michaelglasper Definitely the best artwork, in my opinion. @Mick4Boro @utb_smith It will appeal to the vanity of the people who voted for him. @Mick4Boro @utb_smith They are.Dictated to by Dominic Cummings; an 'unelected bureaucrat' making his own rules. It's like being in the EU again, i… To Drive To Durham To Vol.1 'Hit The North' The Fall '500 Miles' The Proclaimers '(Take Me Home) Country Road… @unrealpeloton @Sixth_Element Y'know, this is the sort of thing @channel5_tv would commission.Lines now closed.I can reveal the actual reading was 027503.The international panel judged @will_nett 's entry (6)…
Retweeted by Will Nett @annaturley Biden's apology for a remark he made yesterday will be seen as a sign of weakness. @michaelglasper "I'll tell you who else made a last-ditch 260 mile advance against the advice of his colleagues." @annaturley There will be NO apology; a la Trump etc. An apology would signal an admission of wrongdoing. @piersmorgan Sounds like an ideal candidate for Editor of a national newspaper. @michaelgove Michael's gonna need Cummings on board if he's ever going to be PM.Looking fwd to some intense journalistic scrutiny at tonight's press conference. #dominicgoings @michaelglasper I like it when people say 'I was gonna say that' about some 'hilarious' pun or comment. @michaelglasper Are there any other 'celebrities' who's disability he's looking to denounce; has he seen Douglas Bader trampolining?
@unrealpeloton 6? Based on the reckoning that you're tapped into the Yarm WI village hall supply.People of Guisborough: it's 2 *METRES* not 2 inches; nice to get acquainted, though.Hi Gary, brilliant talking this morning about our WE ARE BORO Short Story Competition! Many thanks for the chat!…
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@outonbluesix That I was dead. I very nearly was; but hear I am. See also 'Oscar Wilde' 'greatly exaggerated' etc etc
@GaryAPhilipson @BBCTees Are you a flat-earther, Gaz; because that would influence my answer!?
@DailyMailUK I could buy the Daily Mail, or I could hammer 50p right into my forehead which would have the same eff…
Retweeted by Will Nett @adebagley @ElPataLoco I often wonder if 'I'm writing a book' is any sort of plausible legal standing!? @DarrackMark How big do you think my feet are?The 'hive mind' of writers' is disturbingly entertaining, and very useful!My latest seemingly-absurd book research questions; responses welcome, however nonsensical... 1. Does anyone have a… @Jharrison22 @Tees_Issues No vans, currently; as I understand it. @unrealpeloton Is a 'barrel of laughs' technically a sea-going vessel? @Jharrison22 @Tees_Issues Access to the recycling site is free, certainly for Boro & Stockton; book via your local authority website. @Dippley I would guess, Fowler. @JohnStapletonTV Have you slipped out of the Top 100, John; why would you expect sensitivity from a British newspaper? @piersmorgan @BorisJohnson He's not coming on. He doesn't need to. He didn't need to during the election, and doesn…
My Plans 2020 @michaelglasper I had reason to write 'Perugia, Rio and Scunthorpe' today, in relation to Boro. You can join the dots yourself. @PaddySisyphus @T_om_s That's the biggest 'banter' I've ever seen. @outonbluesix @InvaderAce1 Icicle Works, which was essentially Boulder Dash in the snow.
A last shout for this flashback to 20 years ago when Boro took part in a surreal and scary PR exercise for a blood-…
Retweeted by Will NettAlmost time to commence my latest TV crush on @nicolejcd #TheRanganation @Flying_Inside I think that's how Seaman himself got the job. @SundayBrunchC4 Who's parting Keith Urban's hair these days; Moses? it seem like an obvious answer? I'm not sure. . . @RoylePin @thetimes I've slipped out of the Top 75,000,000 over the last year.My quiz question stumped everyone last night; which is Yorkshire's only maritime city? Even someone from that city didn't get it!? @mocent0 They originate from Somalia, or thereabouts, so that may explain it. @untypicalboro Cracking read, Vic. 'You was always out on the cocktails, man'😂 @utb_smith Utterly vile with not a single redeeming feature. @EuripidesCrutc1 @fourfoot @dmartw Yes, of course; as a sensitive way of approaching issues realted to mental healt… @yorkshirepost Like Brexit, then? @outonbluesix 'How I Wrote Elastic Man' by The Fall. @GavinCurnow Cow Pasture. Is that one? @fourfoot @dmartw Anyone using the phrase 'Reached out to' instead of 'contacted' or 'got in touch with' etc needs… @FindingDore @fourfoot @dmartw 'Almost unique' @fourfoot @dmartw 'That's genius' A thing can't be 'genius' it can be 'genial' but not 'genius.' @mickmuldoon @fourfoot @dmartw @JohnTorode1 I realise I've made a spelling mistake above. That's known as 'Muphry's… @mickmuldoon @fourfoot @dmartw @JohnTorode1 Either I fine, but most people wouldn't know that. It's what's known as 'the toff's mistake'
@nalaknip Covered in fried egg and tea stains. @nalaknip Favouring the classic string vest beneath his shirt.Some classic old school 'gaffering' from Cloughy...from MOTD magazine, early 2004. @MOTDmag @90sfootball @outonbluesix I saw Rick Witter going to the pictures to watch Mike Bassett: Football Manager.
@michaelglasper Anthea Turner's glamrock Dictator's jacket stole the show. @andrewhiggins1 @PeteBarronMedia 'Coffee fans' 😆