Sign in with Twitter

Username:

samantha irby @wordscience THE MIDDLE WEST

I HAVE ENOUGH HATE IN MY HEART TO START A CAR.

1,830 Following   44,118 Followers   1,565 Tweets

Joined Twitter 3/23/09


@XavierDLeau that whole season was fucking weird. i loved that girl with the attitude, though. she would NOT LET UP. @XavierDLeau oh my god yes @paperalphabet real question: can i be sued for fanfic? because if not i'ma write some. @paperalphabet because they know it would be FILTHY @eveewing https://t.co/Qbo4nkTgqJ
11/21
2019
I’m gonna tell my grandkids that this was Julia Child. https://t.co/wBk9HjA33M
Retweeted by samantha irbytoday on judge mathis, TEENS: https://t.co/dcMXpYJU2gI'm gonna tell my grandkids that this was Steven Spielberg https://t.co/fidyGKEODZ
Retweeted by samantha irbyTall Glass ft Daniel Kaluuya this week on #TheRead https://t.co/8CTGhJWWw8
Retweeted by samantha irby @noname love u @writeclubrules this is you and me in an alternate universe @lostblackboy @hunteryharris god i hope so
11/20
2019
@OLOfragrance FEBRUARY 13 @_omgigi_ my porn!THIS IS MY SEXUALITY https://t.co/eub15TzF94 @marquitasade @ahiddenIife HELLO, BOYFRIEND. @WrittenByHanna i'm framing these tweets @WrittenByHanna HANNA!!!!!!!! i love you @dansinker dan i love you and your impeachment news is the only news i readtoday on judge mathis, giving maury povich a run for his money: https://t.co/NEqG6HnVUm @AmandaRosenberg @Kohls they really are the TRUTHbihhhhhhh my name is right there. on a magazine cover. https://t.co/61r7mGywC5
Retweeted by samantha irbydairrhea
Retweeted by samantha irby @RachelCharleneL it’s sooooooo good @RachelCharleneL first aid beauty ultra repair cream!
11/19
2019
@one_crab THANK YOU BABE @ira @julianbreece @GBerlanti whoop whoop!If you would like to hire me to write features like the many I have written before (that can be found here:… https://t.co/9tdWwm7sdH
Retweeted by samantha irby @siskaphrenia let me make some calls @JWhitePubRadio i do this every single day i am clearly disturbed BUT I'M HERE FOR YOU @amyhoy 🤯today on judge mathis, an asshole: https://t.co/QI1ZE85g77 @ejdickson i’m crying at this @BarfieldLaRue i’ll officiate the weddingbrandy is the best i’m cryingimportant follow up https://t.co/xSgNKcrGhj“being a person is often very stupid and a bit of a letdown.” 🥳🥳 https://t.co/8tU9g0UkKH @_ellenisdead @imbobswaget i should have called her a bad feminist @_ellenisdead @imbobswaget hahahaha bitch yes!me in 2009 v me in 2019 https://t.co/43RbZswkCf @turnthineeyes bahahaha let me call kohl’s!new books, alison roman, and cozy clothes: https://t.co/1QlqDxyyPm @SorayaRoberts @jourdayen @imbobswaget "hi nice to finally meet u, i love modern family" @jourdayen @imbobswaget my chair had a name tag!! i burst out laughing and immediately tried to reabsorb back into the earth what a messY’all. Help, I can’t stop crying. 😭😭 https://t.co/FAkX3dou3I
Retweeted by samantha irby @MostlyMax i thought the same thing! "let me go download this young man's songs!" @imbobswaget ME FUCKING TOO lmao
11/18
2019
@carmenmmachado jibri is my shit YOU BETTER GET IT @kelleent yes yes yes yes yes
11/17
2019
@Jillhopkins it’s great! and yes please! @mollybackes MARRY HER
11/16
2019
today on judge mathis, meat receipts: https://t.co/5OIm2NtyZd @IWriteAllDay_ @NicoleFroio changing my number, see y'all in hell!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! https://t.co/FszlwBIVzA @WittiestManEver GET ME SOME TOOputting these at the top of my christmas list https://t.co/6ALGc20IzK @sdlorman OK NOW
11/15
2019
@_ellenisdead SHE CAME DOWN IN A BUBBLE, DAWG.i think about this video at least once a week https://t.co/69sq21VZcH @stephycha @IsaacFitzgerald you deserve!“”eww she fuck the weed man for weed” -a bitch that’s fucking the text man for texts” https://t.co/vDnAuYocny
Retweeted by samantha irby
11/14
2019
Alright, getting today's https://t.co/PV61ySovNs update written right now. Sign up in the next 60 minutes or so to… https://t.co/RLh3D4sMkn
Retweeted by samantha irby @_ellenisdead i was saying this in the VERY HILARIOUS “you aren’t really from chicago” way! don’t be embarrassed!!… https://t.co/J7kvW9oZpFI was going through a spell of depression—too much exposure to the misery of this world—when I started interviewing… https://t.co/bYzlsDPyFz
Retweeted by samantha irbyImagine "waking up" and being "ready" to "take on" the "day".
Retweeted by samantha irby @reebsonstage my angel 💖 @_ellenisdead ellen i’m from evanston
11/13
2019
today on judge mathis, your dad on tinder: https://t.co/HdrgjjRSXV @honeystaysuper (your book is on its way to me rn) @honeystaysuper 🥰🥰🥰🥰 @Vanessa_KDeLuca omg i think you are FANTASTIC 💫Hymen Great Til They Gotta Be Great this week on #TheRead https://t.co/qnwX9UIXZP
Retweeted by samantha irbyit’s holiday season/dinner party time! please consider having non alcoholic drink options at the table. i have a be… https://t.co/FlolUTPqrA
Retweeted by samantha irby
11/12
2019
@joshgondelman oh hello we are the same @battymamzelle OH HELLO“It’s not that money makes you happy, but *not* having money is a really corrosive kind of stress.” https://t.co/jTbh9jD54E
Retweeted by samantha irby"The (Other) F Word" is the CCBC Book of the Week. https://t.co/uOZy5E91wr @misskubelik @abramskids https://t.co/PKOquv59oS
Retweeted by samantha irbyTime is my fave comparison that puts it into perspective! A million seconds is 12 days. A billion seconds is 31.7… https://t.co/1NdWqLPtSp
Retweeted by samantha irbyI wrote about the scars we inherit from our parents for my latest #Watchmen recap for @vulture. https://t.co/csFR2McaK1
Retweeted by samantha irby @honeystaysuper omggg thank you for seeing me 😭Our December Poetry Book Club pick is @Danez_Smif's HOMIE, forthcoming from @GraywolfPress! To receive your early c… https://t.co/BkdtnW4kk3
Retweeted by samantha irbyHere's a visual of my 35 favorite books of the decade. https://t.co/Uvw0T4HdWr
Retweeted by samantha irby @mariskreizman WOW MARIS DAMN
11/11
2019
@thealux oh hiiiiiiiiiiii @adamm0rgan MY LOVE FOR DOCTOR CRUSHER WAS GALACTIC @Caissie ANYTIME @RachelMcKibbens our dark haired queens! @Lady_VEE you gotta marry me @RachelMcKibbens COME AND KNOCK ON MY DOOR @bibliogrrl 1000% @ToniinTexas OH SHIT @mamapeachtoyou @_omgigi_ me three! night court filled a lot of crush needs for me???https://t.co/qf5hDqFA6H https://t.co/jxgeZF0cev @JenTod_ 🥰🥰🥰
11/10
2019
@sassyblackdiva @imbobswaget i’m sorry for introducing you to GREATNESS ALEXIS @JohntheCraptist WHEN HIS FOOT LEFT THE GROUND!!! @ms_creilly @Nicole_Cliffe bobby axelrod (aka damian lewis) on billions wears CASHMERE HOODIES and there are so man… https://t.co/wtaftl2TsF @imbobswaget @sassyblackdiva it is FULLY UNHINGED and yes i watched every episode multiple times @sassyblackdiva @imbobswaget oh hello welcome to this hell club
11/9
2019
today on judge mathis, a dude who brought a briefcase: https://t.co/nZon8s7Y7R
11/8
2019

0