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1,029 Following   1,143 Followers   9,784 Tweets

Joined Twitter 1/10/10


@whichoedipus Where did you find them? @Fugate_theGreat “All you have to do is memorize like 5 stats and talk too quick for anyone to interrupt you” @Fugate_theGreat All I need is a chanceI guess I can wait like 3 years until my kid starts playing teeballI feel like I’d like to be a coach for something but I was bad at all sports except for academic team
4/13
2021
@mrmarklpeterson @Quaski29 Nerd
4/11
2021
@helldick420 Fucking a kid* @EdCarroll51 con some lime juice 🙌this is amazing https://t.co/8zz564pNca @Xanolabars The Lolita stairway to heaven 🙏🏼
Retweeted by garyRIP Prince Philip - gone onto the big child sex trafficking island in the sky
4/9
2021
@_arlaina Much better thank you @GRAIYN My wife loves himhttps://t.co/hhizHj81TN https://t.co/0HOoqkKoKm @GRAIYN Fr 😓Somehow this guy showed up on my feed so I commented “drippy asl” I just noticed he messaged back https://t.co/Xz4kzDWpDf
4/6
2021
Does anyone know how to not let work ruin your entire day let me know
4/5
2021
@EdCarroll51 That cow doesn’t do SHIT @EdCarroll51 Jesus Christ that marbling
4/4
2021
@myhipsterhandle Prayers please 😓My wife’s family dog just fucking DIED https://t.co/rA9j68s9ix
4/3
2021
Having a bit of a hard time with social cues
4/2
2021
Your second @ is sitting to your right keep it going @breathingback https://t.co/SVo5oGvNvcgetting vaxed https://t.co/CFQ7Y0iTH6Witnessed this masterpiece live earlier https://t.co/mFpv6n7EQE
4/1
2021
https://t.co/oO4J7QLVbQMake your wagers https://t.co/59mJuZS0ihAnyone want to take the over/under on my child’s sex? $10??
3/31
2021
https://t.co/3m9XpGBIUq @EdCarroll51 Peak lockdown I would have paid $500 for thisLook at these caveman weights this guy is selling https://t.co/bEFF1esJ4N
3/30
2021
@whichoedipus Coolest cops are ODNR Rangers @NoLuckNeal Hope you like the Wizard of Za and Dicarlo’smy favorite guy on tiktok right now is this dad who constantly harasses his extremely jewish son https://t.co/3TP37Tzw1D
Retweeted by gary
3/29
2021
Ah yes “funny tweets” https://t.co/LxJvhw19dC
3/28
2021
@EdCarroll51 https://t.co/kyTRO8zyDY @EdCarroll51 😳 @EdCarroll51 That’s okay chef luckily pizza huts are relatively common @Rondalep Auntie Anne’s is goated though .. I’m gonna try this weekend
3/26
2021
@Rondalep Not in like 15 years but I remember them being insane @drakebenjamin13 Unmatched when you were like 10I want to cry https://t.co/BS5vV5Tk7rYeah let me get a beer to goI could use a target pizza hut personal pieI wish I could go and tell everyone that I was ever an asshat to that I am sorry and I have made strides since then
3/25
2021
My ears are popping as I enter bellefontaine Ohio. The highest point in the state..
3/24
2021
Sometimes I wish I had a job where I was just handed tasks every day @degreatdelph Yes the trap beat is part of the videoMy lending agent loves to send me videos like this https://t.co/El8pchYuTB @whichoedipus @breathingback @myhipsterhandle Ironic goodwill teens are going start wearing these in like 5-10 years just watch
3/23
2021
Since my wife is pregnant I’m drinking for 3 @atimetowait It seems like it should have/will happen at some pointIm surprised Justin Beiber has never collaborate with yung lean
3/21
2021
@EdCarroll51 I need it @EdCarroll51 Will you have tomorrow I’m gonna be in town
3/19
2021
Driving normally https://t.co/v3TOfPjkkw @breathingback I am not Australian but if I was in a room with a kangaroo I’d go barbarian @breathingback Listened to this like 3 times todayCheese cups https://t.co/rNT5kblCszMight drink a Guinness for the first time ever todayA police officer giving someone a DUI on St. Patty’s is an anti-Irish hate crime
3/17
2021
@breathingback That sounds so good please don’t tempt me I’m trying to be good @breathingback https://t.co/ZO5OrLfu69I would like a sugar free lemonade @myhipsterhandle @oftwominds_band @toph_dunkley @snarlsband @palettestaches @mouth_movements SO SUSSY 😅😂😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣 AMOGUS 😂😂😅😅😅 @oftwominds_band @toph_dunkley @snarlsband @palettestaches @mouth_movements Funny how Adam gets two hits.. kind of a sus move
3/16
2021
@breathingback I see @breathingback Only I got to keep was like 5 liters of tomato juice-we can make bloody Mary’sToday my boss and I had to repo some onions, tortillas, and cheese from a Mexican restaurantI can already tell that my potato sized fetus of a child has big ambitions
3/12
2021
@KolinPetty Catch us a couple fit birds innitWish I was English so I could “holiday in Malta” or some shit like thathttps://t.co/YpAejKF8iX
3/11
2021
Is this how insane people take notes https://t.co/9EDcYShyfN
3/10
2021
It is your constitutional right to commandeer Tabasco bottles from Ch*potle @mattsutaaki @whichoedipus Yeah those are my top two as wellQueen Elizabeth is NOT a girl boss
3/9
2021
Making breakfast case of dee ya
3/7
2021
Patriot of color https://t.co/4eQLfPRaR8#NewProfilePic https://t.co/omR7lEDPF6
3/5
2021
Daydreaming about quitting my job and being a stay at home dad
3/4
2021
I think I earnestly like Midwest emo for a summer and pretended to like it for the next 3 years
3/2
2021
I can’t imagine a world where Godzilla wins
2/28
2021
@NoLuckNeal Happy birth Neal @ChipotleTweets I filled this out a week ago and still haven’t gotten the other half of my meal Ty
2/26
2021
@breathingback That kid looked like he wanted to cry @breathingback Waiting for ocky be like
2/22
2021
@mark_bartus @whichoedipus Literally cannot 🥺
2/20
2021
@corixrobbins @ChipotleTweets lmao omfg @corixrobbins @ChipotleTweets I called the shop twice now I’m going Karen mode on Twitter 🧍🏼‍♀️Does this seem like an appropriate amount of food for $11 @ChipotleTweets https://t.co/ofTyhgI62Y @whichoedipus Thank you! When we get one I’ll tweet it out ! @whichoedipus Yes please @whichoedipus Suburbs—Powell, Hilliard, Worthington. Condos and houses 150-200k. Flippers are buying up everything right now. @whichoedipus We have made offers on 4 houses and been beat by cash buyers on all of them.. @thepunkrockmba Dayton Ohio
2/19
2021
@BillyDeMatteo Bummer 🥺 @myhipsterhandle @matthewbonder I’m just going to keep asking Johnny Franck on TikTokStick Stickly**
2/18
2021

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