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proud mother to four robust conservative boys

872 Following   14,885 Followers   43,493 Tweets

Joined Twitter 4/16/11

found a guy who replied to a promoted tweet from netflix advertising a new movie to tell them their caption was boringpeter, bjorn AND john? What am I, a millionaire?
Retweeted by πš˜πš•πš πšπš˜πš–This Eucalyptus shampoo doesn’t smell anything like those Christ crackers they serve at church intermission.
Retweeted by πš˜πš•πš πšπš˜πš–Democrats aren't saying that "Defund The Police" is confusing because they would rather use something like "Reform…
Retweeted by πš˜πš•πš πšπš˜πš–the schematics for my dick-sucking robot slobknobotron 5000 (patent pending) have once again been rejected by the c…
Retweeted by πš˜πš•πš πšπš˜πš– @lil_yoga_pants no. u willThere seems to me something distinctly evil about conservative Democrats losing their races because they have zero…
Retweeted by πš˜πš•πš πšπš˜πš–It's easy to judge live action role players but at the same time me and my friends get together and make believe th…
Retweeted by πš˜πš•πš πšπš˜πš– @themeredith WHAT @jeeeely for realThe number 1 tip in this article titled β€œA Freelancer’s Guide to Health Insurance in 2020”
Retweeted by πš˜πš•πš πšπš˜πš– @alexlumaga yesterday i saw a picture of a dog sitting at a dining room table with a birthday cake in front of him… @pant_leg we gotta stop with all these fancy big words that’s the problem! what could they mean?this entire thread is incredible i can’t believe these people are real Parker. He said he got tired waiting to get into watch the votes being counted and left. He thinks because of th…
Retweeted by πš˜πš•πš πšπš˜πš–Poll watcher in Michigan testifying that black lives matter people wore rhinestones. This was a problem for her.
Retweeted by πš˜πš•πš πšπš˜πš–At just 16 years old I started an outreach program for troubled boys. I’d date them until they gained enough confid…
Retweeted by πš˜πš•πš πšπš˜πš–having a third cup of coffee bc i (っ◔◑◔)っ β™₯ 𝒽𝒢𝓉𝑒 π“‚π“Žπ“ˆπ‘’π“π’» β™₯Spotify wrapped πŸ€—
Retweeted by πš˜πš•πš πšπš˜πš–2 things: 1. "diversity" is such a vapid and useless word that gives rich ppl the power to gatekeep under the venee…
Retweeted by πš˜πš•πš πšπš˜πš–YES WE CAN defund the police. Is that better?
Retweeted by πš˜πš•πš πšπš˜πš– @BonerWizard jesus christ @ComradTwitty πŸ™ŒπŸ»πŸ™ŒπŸ» @YuckyTom When you wanna be a TERF but being a TERF doesn't center yourself as a victim enough.
Retweeted by πš˜πš•πš πšπš˜πš– @chopperface69 hahaha @sug_knight better or worse than the fake spooky scary date @maisondecris sad to see people living life and not considering my feelings πŸ₯ΊπŸ˜° @calamazoowho the true mark of wanting to begin a discoursehow can one’s brain work this way @biboofficial @themeredith i must @jessicadefino_ no 2020 i will find and fuck the grinch @MariyaAlexander guess i’ll meet u at the front of the line πŸ₯Ίelliot page is 5’1.... finally there will be some solid short king representation....
Retweeted by πš˜πš•πš πšπš˜πš– @PhilanthropyGal delete thiswhere we giving on giving tuesday? if u wanna join me i gave here:
Just had an incredibly sad memory of the time we read a short play adaptation version of Animal Farm in seventh gra…
Retweeted by πš˜πš•πš πšπš˜πš–In the @nytimes Modern Love / Tiny Love Stories column today 😊
Retweeted by πš˜πš•πš πšπš˜πš– @themeredith it brings me great pleasure to announce i have no clue what these words mean in this context i assume… from another furniture store for calling my job pushin’ cushionin the 90s if u wanted to move u just had to crack open a coors light and play man in the box by alice in chains on…
Retweeted by πš˜πš•πš πšπš˜πš–After I got my bangs someone called me Trailer swift.
Retweeted by πš˜πš•πš πšπš˜πš–how points can eat my ass. β€œfor every 70 dollars you spend we give you 5 dollars then we divide that by how man…
Retweeted by πš˜πš•πš πšπš˜πš– @comingxclean 😩😩😩 @JellyStilettos 😈u can always tell when a movie was a play because its like why havent you guys left the dining room πŸ‘€
Retweeted by πš˜πš•πš πšπš˜πš–When I was in grade school (early-mid 90s) I was a β€œbig boned” kid. I believe I was wearing a windbreaker with some…
Retweeted by πš˜πš•πš πšπš˜πš– brands don’t find it funny when you respond A/S/L to their cyber Monday emails πŸ˜”
Retweeted by πš˜πš•πš πšπš˜πš– @david_d_tyler @Kevaclysm i knew i should’ve left it in there lol @crystalsug not even like... engagement photos or like a birth announcement shoot they’re just like β€˜some big news:… @Kevaclysm e.a. poethe cop i used to live with and her bf did a fall photoshoot and captioned it with a sylvia plath quote but wrote β€˜β€¦
Inventing New Types of Guys: Harmless Fun or Deadly Addiction?
Retweeted by πš˜πš•πš πšπš˜πš– @Blodonn1 buddy if it’s real how come i’ve never made one do it @purpletrashass oh my god hahah @reallyjustdave hahaha peter @uspellCoUrTNey so did she @MaraWilson fuck the bow foreverSorry for saying chickpeas are just peas that be shoppin'
Retweeted by πš˜πš•πš πšπš˜πš–good morning to those in favor of debt forgiveness 𝐨𝐧π₯𝐲i dont remember his name but the guy in batman who is always joking and laughing....that's how you live a life
Retweeted by πš˜πš•πš πšπš˜πš– @purpletrashass πŸ™πŸ» @tweetsinacoma in *this* day and age’s a pig in my mom’s neighborhood who escapes her home to roam the neighborhood every couple days and someone…
Retweeted by πš˜πš•πš πšπš˜πš–a woman just walked by me wearing a whitman college hoodie but her backpack strap was covering the w so for one bea…
Retweeted by πš˜πš•πš πšπš˜πš–People are like snowflakes. Individually small and ineffective, but if we work together we can make my step dad crash his car into a tree.
Retweeted by πš˜πš•πš πšπš˜πš– @zaddydevito :) @LOTUS_3030 hahahha STOP i haven’t SEEN itthe undoing?? i’m undoing my jeans and jackin it to hugh grant! @Datboi_tweetin no baby i literally cannotThe Truman Show but it’s The Tom Show and I find out it’s all a lie about 12 minutes in but I don’t say anything be…
Retweeted by πš˜πš•πš πšπš˜πš– @hollyxhawthorne u better give her one kiss for every like or u and i are through @goueeik ok @katewhiteshark πŸ˜” ilulololol this guy unfollowed me over this
@iheartfrosty i’m a baby voice personified my life is voice and i’m babyif i’m not a girlboss then who isno they’re not πŸ™‚ bad @stillgray @dave_cactus u don’t. it’s fineian miles cheong i will pay to fly u out to newark airport and u and i can meet in the street to β€˜talk’ about polit… @LOTUS_3030 it’s so important. it’s a cultural resetlook.. i know u could in like 1909 or whatever i know what WOP means i am quarter sicilian i know about sacco and v… @BrightApollo it’s 2020u can’t be racist against italians lmao get lost with this shit @yeehaw_gurl omg what’d u say @Gemma_YM let’s go @cal_gif @therealjoshua24 lmaaooooooooo noThe Whos were really like oh I wonder why that guy that lives in a cave hates christmas.
Retweeted by πš˜πš•πš πšπš˜πš– @themeredith @TheLaurenSpears that’s so fucking good @MariyaAlexander vibes are definitely off here bro try.... MORE FISHI’m no religious scholar but I *know* Jesus was a guy who always wanted to talk to you about vibes
Retweeted by πš˜πš•πš πšπš˜πš–my uncle rolf is a lot like michael bublΓ©. we don't hear from him all year but every christmas he comes around trying to sell CDsbeing into capitalism must be so lonely. imagine not getting a kiss on the head from karl marx’s ghost every night : /
Retweeted by πš˜πš•πš πšπš˜πš– @toadbit this is from a section where she says she’s β€œmorally opposed to twitter” but if she wasn’t these would be tweets. unrealDON DRAPER: "We quiero many things. Family, safety, love. But this guy--" (Taps drawing of chihuahua) "There's only one thing he quieros."
Retweeted by πš˜πš•πš πšπš˜πš– @AmandaRTubbs for realmaybe the real hillbilly elegy was the friends we made along the way