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Zach Heltzel @zachheltzel Los Angeles, CA

@normpod // dummy thicc

890 Following   15,701 Followers   31,743 Tweets

Joined Twitter 7/4/09


Divorce me, you cowards. @AaronFullerton How dare you question anyone's loyalty to THE SOUL PATROLSomebody please just let Mia Goth be in a nice, normal movie for once. https://t.co/NZOeA4TkCPhttps://t.co/QqUfXbrPRHladies, take your pick https://t.co/KHxUr3iqOU
Retweeted by Zach HeltzelTrump reacting to the Barr memo vs. Trump reacting to the Mueller report https://t.co/1FlZOaZBQyIt’s worth remembering how public opinion changed on Nixon’s impeachment. A month into the Ervin Committee hearing… https://t.co/eIUV1DodGq
Retweeted by Zach Heltzel @tobyherman27 @RachelLeishman It's a masterpiece.Tucker Carlson is a former acid-tripping Deadhead who decided to start scaring old conservative people on the internet because $$$$$$
Retweeted by Zach Heltzel @JimJarmuschHair OH MANhttps://t.co/iz6S9VPVjS
Retweeted by Zach HeltzelHIGH LIFE (dir. Claire Denis) Somebody PLEASE put Mia Goth in a nice, normal movie where she isn't put through uni… https://t.co/eq6hyCGQfIMan, sure would be embarrassing for someone following this election even slightly to try to imply that Warren was d… https://t.co/kACFtoV4i6
Retweeted by Zach Heltzel @AnthonyBLSmith My dogs OPEN DOORS and are NICE about it.Anyone who says there was "no collusion" is lying to you or they don't know what they're talking about. The Muelle… https://t.co/34dhGMWRsX @AaronFullerton Now that you say it...yes. Does the movie know it? Probably not? @yashar Be careful what you wish for - they cominClaire Denis just beat the shit out of me and I thanked her for the privilege. @LexG_III I can't speak for everyone else but I call my parents constantly. With all the traffic, there's plenty of time
4/20
2019
Warren 2020: I've Been Waiting For A 2020 Candidate To Say It https://t.co/oCJQQWkMoo
Retweeted by Zach HeltzelElizabeth Warren started reading the Mueller report on a plane from Salt Lake City to Boston, stayed up all night t… https://t.co/qGIRH8uGoyShut the entire fuck up, Jim Messina. https://t.co/z0duD3vcYd @foomper Hacking and disseminating private information from a political party and a campaign manager and coordinati… https://t.co/k84E4SsVMiCall me old fashioned but a British MP drinking a mojito on public transit is extremely baller and cool and we dese… https://t.co/64t3fmfH50 @obrienjohnjack I'd like to try it @Neil_McNeil https://t.co/yB0cG3j2aS @UtaJohansdottir @jdunck @nadabakos I admit that I'm giving him the MOST charitable read possible. He and his ilk g… https://t.co/g41bCXDmYyAm told that Warren, who was flying back to Boston from Salt Lake City yesterday, began reading the redacted Muelle… https://t.co/XZsHQZZ3i7
Retweeted by Zach HeltzelThe Mueller report lays out facts showing that a hostile foreign government attacked our 2016 election to help Dona… https://t.co/SYcuMK1CIN
Retweeted by Zach HeltzelNew: Seth Rich's brother, Aaron Rich, releases statement after Mueller findings: "I hope that the people who pushed… https://t.co/bTqfpiTBjC
Retweeted by Zach Heltzelhttps://t.co/I54tAlD33d @AlanTheWriter Every wild flavor of KitKat that you can. The assortment is incredible @LexG_III Am I insane or is that trailer truly UNBEARABLE?The Mueller report establishes that the Russian government interfered in the election and Trump's campaign willingl… https://t.co/xRHPMlS3ZyAaron, the report details the steps taken by GRU to hack the DNC emails, something you’ve repeatedly tried to cast… https://t.co/pYBsWwj651
Retweeted by Zach HeltzelThat Nation story suggesting that the DNC made up the "hacking" story really did not age well, and it was garbage a… https://t.co/x8jx1d81qB
Retweeted by Zach HeltzelThe reason Glenn Greenwald thinks the Russia investigation is a hoax despite 448 pages of intelligence to the contr… https://t.co/gmdFnUHBqq @danitaymc @redroomrantings Same. I used to be at 100% but a couple used book sales later I have 50 books I have ne… https://t.co/OmwxRktxNf @notviking wow she got a donk @kevinpokeeffe @cameronscheetz You were right the first timeEveryone who wears the MAGA hat knows what it means and knows what they're communicating. To suggest otherwise is g… https://t.co/zcnoOY5v8rtiktok is,,,, good https://t.co/yKBfSjFHhb
Retweeted by Zach Heltzel @kellyamedia wow I hate thisLast month my 29 yo son tried to get his prescription filled for his depression when he learned he missed a $20 new… https://t.co/6FsseqCtdp
Retweeted by Zach HeltzelBeing a Mormon looks awesome. Just hang around in a finished basement with your homies, eating JELL-O and selling M… https://t.co/4cwKwB5oWw
Retweeted by Zach HeltzelThe Mueller report is making me feel like I'm in college again surrounded by people who haven't seen the movie they… https://t.co/IlO9L1rSeU @pixelpreaching The fact of the matter is that Trump had a 32% approval rating and Clinton had a 42% approval ratin… https://t.co/yY6OOwtxWgThe Special Counsel concluded that you were too dumb to know that the crime you committed was a crime. Congrats. https://t.co/ITFgMyxHwB
Retweeted by Zach HeltzelThe Grand Marshal of the Supreme Court's freedom eagle could have put handcuffs on Don Jr. and Jared Kushner and 40… https://t.co/ugSatZmBPkThe most charitable view of @WikiLeaks' Seth Rich hoax is that Assange genuinely thought it possible that Rich was… https://t.co/EH9AOFCIBS
Retweeted by Zach HeltzelBut in all seriousness, the report is shocking. It's a breathtaking story that makes Watergate look like a tiny ind… https://t.co/KefuvmW1HbWe're only four months in 2019 and already this is the best year for cinema in my lifetime. https://t.co/cf0y43hCjHOh, you think Trump was completely exonerated? WHAT ABOUT THE NISHA CALL?Having read the Mueller report, I guess we will never know what happened between Trump and Russia, as Mueller did n… https://t.co/bvQAvjNr0pYou’re a Cat breaker Dog taker Bird shaker Don’t you mess around with me https://t.co/e4DmyVkYWr
Retweeted by Zach HeltzelLove to see people who haven't read the Mueller report tell people who have read the Mueller report that they're wr… https://t.co/94bHTnPXS2My mom, any time she sees comedians perform at UCB https://t.co/rMfyo1etMi @Superfluously I 👏 DESERVE 👏 A SHOW
4/19
2019
"A complete and total exoneration." https://t.co/MmOC2iEZrMThe degree to which Barr lied about the contents of this report is mind-blowing. https://t.co/3bvMl4tznt
Retweeted by Zach Heltzel @KelcieGrega OMGIt’s actually called a “kweendom” but whatever. https://t.co/RFc8ebOxbg
Retweeted by Zach HeltzelThat Sanders/Buttigieg unity ticket's gonna slap, especially when Warren is made Treasury Secretary. https://t.co/fT5DkhdwQtIt's never going to end! https://t.co/LyqzDGlagzPretty neat how the White House Press Secretary admitted under oath to lying to the American people. You love to see it. @1947Jamie We're READING the damn thing, Jamie! @JimJarmuschHair @jhoffman It's a cold reminder of how many times I've jokingly tweeted "got the deal" and "look at her" over the years @JimJarmuschHair @jhoffman https://t.co/5HKeeb7ZjJ @thejoshl thanks I hate itIt's a disgrace to see an Attorney General acting as if he's the personal attorney and publicist for the President of the United States.
Retweeted by Zach HeltzelThrowback Thursday ⤵️ https://t.co/CdscNUWCur
Retweeted by Zach Heltzel @as_seenontv EWWPrincipal conclusions: 1. On the merits, Mueller report is extremely damning. Myriad crimes were attempted by Trum… https://t.co/B759msr3AZFound the page that proves QAnon. https://t.co/8R5ZO5GlZywatching greenwald and his allies suddenly insist government AGs are paragons of integrity and nobody should questi… https://t.co/T3LIaW3QLo
Retweeted by Zach HeltzelAfter work today, I'm going to slam a Strawberrita and livestream myself reading the Mueller report. Or not. I don't know.████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████In conc… https://t.co/tGZj8skfUJMueller Report: According to notes from Jody Hunt, when Potus learned of Mueller’s appointment, he said “Oh my God.… https://t.co/V76CoquhG9
Retweeted by Zach HeltzelThe United States doesn't have a functional criminal justice system! The institutions don't work! Nobody cares!Good to know that I can obstruct justice as long as I'm rweally rweally angwy @Neil_McNeil Imagine THINKING THISI started listening to a new podcast and spent half an hour thinking the host had a neurological disorder before re… https://t.co/hawEFB85Qy @redroomrantings There's a really good episode of Radiolab about this titled Earworms. The podcast Song Exploder might appeal to you tooRTing this for ... oh, no reason. https://t.co/uRVO91fHxF
Retweeted by Zach Heltzel @gilly I'm going to use this format a thousand more timesWealthy white gays prioritize race and class over solidarity with other sexual minorities? Schocked, but not surprised. @jennyjaffe My gaggle of straights will go see movies together or sit around in someone's backyard but that's about it
4/18
2019
When a black athlete posts a political opinion https://t.co/1aizsNZASQ
Retweeted by Zach Heltzelhahahah barr and rosenstein are gonna announce a second special counsel to investigate comey or uranium one or some bullshitGovernment: You owe us money. It’s called taxes. Me: How much do I owe? Gov’t: You have to figure that out. Me:… https://t.co/nMbJ8Q2KIY
Retweeted by Zach Heltzel @zandywithaz "I could never relate to Home Alone because I would never take Catherine O'Hara for granted." - @louisvirtel @kellyamedia I love that you could so easily eclipse Tomi Lahren and her ilk but you choose not to because you have… https://t.co/jHwbtOfL2q @1followernodad PREACHHave you all considered that Aaron Schock has abs so that makes him a good person? @as_seenontv Okay I really need to know who got schock'd“Even while greed and corruption slow our progress ... true power still rests with the people.“ - @ewarren Couldn’… https://t.co/yWGvhKfAo7
Retweeted by Zach HeltzelTerry is a bit of a clown, but the National Org for Marriage is also bashing Buttigieg. There was an idea, which Tr… https://t.co/hgObdSwyJt
Retweeted by Zach Heltzelah hell yeah that chonky boy knows what's up https://t.co/2HaKJ93Mya @goforawalker Oy @cousinwayne No, but that certainly wouldn't surprise me
4/17
2019

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