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Emmy-losing Writer/Director (@nbcSNL, @JimmyKimmelLive, @Netflix, @CBS, @ComedyCentral, @NewYorker). Follow me on IG: ZackBornstein

3,890 Following   133,489 Followers   10,095 Tweets

Joined Twitter 6/28/09

Twitter now just feeling like doing side quests after beating the main boss @scottzabielski he got robbed @scottzabielski Only if I can play Jared, i also have no life in my eyesBiden taking over the US government from Trump @reverendmatty @RoArquette @charles_gaba @SarahBurris @tonyposnanski @RichardMetzger @richardmarx @itsJeffTiedrich this sucks, absolutely not ready to start dealing with my own problems nowwell let's not do that again
Remember when they told us to give Trump a chance and now I can't see the sky bc LA has too much cremation smog @tjchambersLA @iamaroadtrip Play me ! @sarayublue @msdanifernandez Yes pls
@rmayemsinger Hahahah
@yashar NOMINATE👏SECRETARY👏OF👏HIIT👏@ALEXTOUSSAINT25👏Thoughts and prayers didn’t prepare us for the apocalypse to be this stupid @WendyMolyneux Still thinking about this tweet each and every day @edzitron @RachelLeishman LolIf I die of COVID you have my permission to wing my dead body at Trump during a press conference like that guy who threw a shoe at Bush @oberssbm @hey_mika @J1tails
@kristencheeks @MikeDrucker HELL YES CONGRATS
BREAKING: Trump becomes first actor from Home Alone 2 to be impeached twiceMe booking a flight, finding someone to cover my shifts, unpacking my woodworking tools at the hotel, double-checki… what you will, but GOP deserves credit for bravely turning their back on Trump a few days before he is leaving…
@jules_su More. @jules_su More.PENCE: "I met with the President. We had a productive conversation about the mob he sent to hang me, and I stand be…
Not a single Pinterest board to explain the situation...It's very telling that Donald Trump has not tweeted to clarify the State Department website announcement @slack2thefuture Hell yes sounds incredible, congrats!!Well well well look who wants to end a term early @RepMeijer @MikkoAlanne He ordered the attack my man one ever, but come on, just imagine if Obama had ordered a mob to go hang Joe Biden, and RGB’s husband paid for their busesWatergate today would be a side article on TMZ
Trump is such a fascist traitor, it’s hard to remember he’s also a tax-dodging sex criminalTrump’s mob tried to hang Pence. They killed a cop. 375,000 are dead of COVID. Now more than ever, we must ask why… wish joe biden was alive to see this
Retweeted by Zack Bornstein
Love how Pinterest snuck in here like Trump was radicalizing terrorists with rustic kitchen designs’d be sad that Dan Bongino got banned from Twitter, except he blocked me 2 years ago bc I said his bead looks like… @AkilahObviously Lol have itBREAKING: On Monday Trump will be tweeting as Tig Notaro @JustinWheelon 🙏🙏🙏 anytime @garyvee how early early we talkin?Let that be a lesson, if you send a mob to kill congress, 3 days later you could lose one of your social media handles @heath art takes workWould not want to be Don Jr.'s sinuses about now
@TwitterSafety @realDonaldTrump YES! @RepBobGood more like Congressman Bob Bad @LilMamaDeb @PattiMurin @improv Woah that's very nice! Thank you @al0589 @ManMadeMoon the world wasnt ready @cmclymer @GinggerShankar the highest compliment 🙏 @KenMarino sending this to all my teachers who doubted me @MaryLTrump It's an honor to serveI've lost 800,000 followers for this tweet @joshgad thank you, but also, im so sorry @Mikel_Jollett @JoshMalina we cant take back this tweet, now is a time for unity @PattiMurin This is a great honor, thank you @cottoncandaddy this is a time for unity @cottoncandaddy im not happy about it eitherGood to see Republicans finally take a stand when our biggest problem with the government was the website giving us healthcare wasn’t fast enoughEvery meeting is like "Hey, great to see you! How crazy is everything? 400,000 people dead and the president ordere… @BetteMidler Hey Bette love you but thats my tweet I'm cropped out of @ItsMikeSpence I'll never tellOsama Bin Laden on Sept 12th: "Now is a time for healing"I know 95% of the Trump mob were pure Nazi clowns but if there were a few competent terrorists or foreign actors in… @nori_reed That’s all he has left @MikeWTrapp That’s exactly itBREAKING: Trump has been suspended indefinitely from the Calculator appLmao
Retweeted by Zack Bornstein @birbigs @HarneyTea English breakfast I live on itTrump bragged about sex crimes on a bus 4 months before John Kelly started for Betsy DeVos that she resigned so she can spend more time hunting over a hundred dalmatians for their furAnyone who says "new tone" must legally fill their pockets with stones and walk into the sea @jonkimmel hes been dead for 25 years @realDonaldTrump LMAO get fucked
It’s truly bananas we’re expected to go about our lives eating lunch and putting on pants like the President didn't… @fakedansavage LmaoIt was all Antifa, but also we love you, but it was just liberal instigators, but also you're very specialImagine George W Bush on 9/11 saying to Al-Queda “We love you, you’re very special” @brguest20 @Twitter which is also a scary thing we need to address in the future @Fred_Delicious truly belly laughing
If you had shown me this photo in fall 2016, I would've been like "Yeah I know" has told the terrorists he loves them more times than Don Jr. @davidm1108 Serve and protect the sauceNational Guard helicopters and tanks circled my neighborhood for 3 weeks during BLM protests to protect Buffalo Wil… when the left breaks a window at Orange Julius vs. Cops when the right plants bombs at the Capitol building @realDonaldTrump country that had a U.S.-led coup watching the U.S.-led coup in the U.S.“THE COMMUNIST GLOBALIST REGIME HAS TAKEN OVER OUR GREAT NATION, but also Deborah look at the craftsmanship on that… with these Trump protestors who broke windows to get into the Capitol Building but then stayed inside the… @Redistrict Official sources have yet to determine if this is a nail biter. @dave_schilling Lol @jim_newell Lmao @birbigs A great honor from you 🙏 @franklinleonard 🙏🙏🙏 @nunziorandazzo hahahahahWe're going to find out Loeffler knew she would lose 3 weeks ago and bought a ton of stock in Warnock
Moderate Republicans when presented with evidence of the President’s crimes
@McJesse OmgAs the perfect final send off to 2020, they spelled my name wrong in the credits