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Guitarist. Self-isolating since 2010. Everything we knew is now wrong.

4,439 Following   4,405 Followers   16,219 Tweets

Joined Twitter 10/20/18

Well, Johnson's presser didn't go well. At one point he almost looked close to tears when his voice cracked. Beth… @BattDavey No. I have a rare condition which means I exude no bodily fluids whatsoever. @SimonClarkeMP Oh, there are lots of words for the way people feel towards Cummings. How dare you speak for hundreds of thousands of people.Busted!'s second presser on the trot. He's going to be exhausted at this rate.I felt a bit nauseous, so I drove to Pizza Express in Woking to see if I could manage a 12" deep pan Meat Feast...PM's right hand man doesn't get a coronavirus test... Surely he'd get regular testing as a natural consequence of… #sackcummings' wife drive?I'll just climb this ladder to see if my vertigo has gone...Arrogant bullshit.25 minutes. It's deeply, deeply insulting.20 minutes. Game playing.15 minutes late now. Shonky little prick. @round_windows Yup. Totally in character.He's late. On purpose, I bet.Brace yourselves against the incoming hail of bullshit. @BobSingleton_59 We left Wolverton 10 years ago after living there for...(maths)...27 years. Glad I moved before it got Brexity.Great to revisit this album again. One more rare and perfect album - not a duff track on it. friend of mine visited Lidl in Wolverton, Milton Keynes last Friday. She was the only person in there wearing a mask... @realDonaldTrump You pathetic orange scrotum.There's been some sort of "slippage" or tipping over during the last two or three days. I feel some sort of line h… @ABridgen sounds excited. Careful, he might "go off". @MikeBatt01 @elkaswat @mojepole Terrible, but black cats really are stealth cats. So hard to spot.So, #sackcummings is in the No 10 Rose Garden at 1600h BST. Spot the prick. should not be making a public statement today. As a SpAD, he is specifically excluded from doing this… @elkaswat @mojepole Before our two ginger Maine Coons, we'd always had black cats - four of them in total. I like black cats.The upcoming statement from #sackcummings must have been the reason he spent so long at Number 10 yesterday. Johnso… @cualey Yes, but in practical terms, we cannot remove him at a later date.At least when someone who's been elected makes a statement, and accepts questioning, you can file away your reactio… @harrytlambert So what? Many families have had to put up with similar situations - and worse - during the epidemic. @CBenians Last time - about 2 weeks ago - they weighed about 750g on average. @CBenians Yes, they're definitely growing. They're getting weighed again when they have their next vaccination. Be… @emilyhewertson Meh.Good boys when they're asleep. @mrdanwalker I don't give a shiny shit about any line being drawn. This corrupt cabal needs to be excised like the… @DouglasCarswell Good of you to take some time away from your constant onanism. @danny__kruger Don't worry, Danny. I'm sure mummy will be along to make you feel better. On the other hand, you cou… makes you wonder why it's taken certain sections of the media so long to conclude that the bucket of brown stuff… is in recess, so your MP has plenty of time to deal with constituents making it clear to them that Cummings must go. @MPIainDS @LiamFox Go and have some breakfast - it sounds as if your blood sugar is a bit too low. instinct would have been to get in touch with these people.
@danny__kruger Mummy has retweeted you. What a nice mummy Danny has. Lucky little Danny. @PrueLeith Why don't you bake right off? @montie What took you so long to realise he's totally unfit to hold any sort of official position? @BocaVerite I hope you're right. @jreynoldsMP It's entirely appropriate. We've got very little left, legally speaking, with which to express discontent.One to keep sharing! Since deleted. You know what to do. @cabinetofficeuk Yes, the truth hurts, doesn't it? Whoever tweeted that really cares about the UK and what's happe… don't think Johnson has ever sounded so hollow and out of control. He's very determined to keep Cummings.Powis just standing there like a spare prick at a wedding whilst Johnson just bumbles on. It's a total shitshow.JHFC this is bad. #LiarJohnson just blustering and sounding totally unconvincing.Wow. So #LiarJohnson backs Cummings to the hilt.Don't let @SteveBakerHW's desire to see Cummings go fool you. Read the whole article. If you think he's the stoppe…
@ratemyplatenow Dinner. @KerryKerryem That's what I'm thinking, too. @miffythegamer Nope, I just liked this one OK.Either this is a massive dead cat, or Cummings is so vital to Johnson and the Tory party that he has to be kept at…, what are we up to now? Two trips to Durham and a day out whilst there... And the night is yet young. #sackcummings @BowenWoods @OliverDowden True. I was thinking about his immediate family. @OliverDowden He might have looked after his family, but he didn't follow the guidelines. You're a liar. @jobo901 Superspiv @grantshapps. @nickpblackman @grantshapps While we're looking at squirrels you mean?Well, that was better. Not enough blood splatter for me, but a vast improvement on previous pressers. However...… @VicVA2 @grantshapps Yes, on safer ground. Let's hope he gets a Cummings question next. Oh no, that was the last qu… boy @grantshapps has just said that Cummings was following the guidance to stay put and self isolate by travel… media question so far has been about Cummings. @grantshapps is getting a little rattled.Hmm...the media are smelling blood. And they don't seem in a mood to be fobbed off.Now it's Jennie with the SLIDES. Same old stuff that means very little to most people. But, hey, we're being full… @grantshapps is telling us what he's going to do with his life size Lego and Brio sets. The Twat Controller rides again.Jumped up barrow boy and serial spiv @grantshapps is heading the presser in a couple of minutes. I wonder if he'll… @PD19133480 @SuellaBraverman The day is not yet over.They must be desperate. They've just exhumed @SuellaBraverman to yap in support of Cummings. Good little doggies. @SuellaBraverman @10DowningStreet Blimey...where did they drag you out from? You've said bugger all for the past se… perfect pop for Saturday. @16MillionRising @Pip0_0Fisher Not to mention anyone they met on the journey. A 5 hour journey with a young child w… Who parody ever. @twangit16 There are quite a few different sizes of tray available. Are you sure there isn't your size somewhere? @christopherhope @oflynnsocial You really need to get a grip on reality and stop whoring yourself by making cheap c… @swarb96 @EstuaryGlass Looks very nice. @swarb96 @EstuaryGlass Delivery to France?Well, our new shower supplies are finally coming together. Managed to find the shower heads and taps set we like, a… Woof: What a shifty little oik. Me: You must be talking about Dominic Cummings. Mrs W: Yes, I am. @michaelgove @NormandyMary We should get a very small discount for chatons en vrac! @DavidBy30081000 @fbpe_jojo77 Why don't you stop wasting time here and get the band back together? Cunt.I wonder how #LiarJohnson fans are feeling at the moment? They've hardly seen their poster boy since the virus brok… @Sabs29854754 @pritipatel But she acts it...haughty and arrogant. @NormandyMary Yes, three boys. Until they're 6 months old. Then...
@davidqhog Meth lab in the barn.They've crashed now. Cream crackered. @cactus_woman @Beany_1 Turkey eggs are fine. Good for cakes, quiches and omelettes.A few minutes after that, it got even more manic. There was much pouncing.It's like having three black rats off their tits on cheap amphetamines... @miffythegamer If she wasn't up herself quite so much, I'd just ignore it. @jclanoe @GuitarMoog Our département sent everyone a mask good for 30 washes. @cactus_woman It's on a server.Seriously, I'm no scientist. So, if someone can explain why this hasn't already been done, using reputable scient… @Telegraph journo just called quarantine, "house arrest". Dozy pillock.Quaran-teeen...